If your Ex was Narcissistic, you need to hear THIS

When you’re raised with gaslighting and emotional neglect, it’s hard to recognize it as not normal.

You didn't want to leave the relationship, because you care(d) deeply about this person. But you have to leave in order to find someone who cares deeply about you…

Apathy is more cruel than hatred. I left to save my sanity.

Worst part: it wasn't even a relationship. It was a situationship. But the damage he left. I'm going for therapy next week

Relationships are hard, But I've figured out that there's always a way to fix things when there's a problem. Five years back, my wife and I were on the brink of divorce because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was hard, but we made it through.

Defensive, Attacking, Reverse Victim, Offender. All of it. Any time I expressed how I felt, with an "I" message, he would become immediately defensive and when, once, in the middle of a video conversation,he got angry because I didn't agree with him, he told me to f'ing be quiet in anger and when I told him I wasn't ok with being spoken to that way, he hung up abruptly! Then he said it was my morals or ego that caused me to be upset and he hadn't done anything wrong and wasn't sorry. He also told me I should look at what I did to make him act that way! And how he was a victim of me telling him how I feel and he can't make me "happy". Total emotional immaturity. Now he is trying to hover me back in. But I am done. For good.

My heart goes out to anyone who had to deal with this!!!!!

And physically. The damage to my health living in a constant state of fight or flight will take years to heal.

No one understood how me, a man, could say I was hurt emotionally by a vindictive female narcissist I was in a relationship with. Behind closed doors, it was blatant. In public, I was chastised, berated and made jokes about at my expense, often in front of other friends. Always walked 30 feet in front of me, never holding hands in public. I got accused once of 'not introducing her fast enough'. So many signs, of a classic narc were evident. I really am taking time to heal, I can't see me in a relationship until I get through this. She's tried to hoover me a third time, several blow ups over the littlest things, all my fault of course. I decided this was the last time. Not easy, the trauma bond was strong and I struggle still.

A narcissistic x is like a pair of designer shoes that are too small. You love them. But you don't want to wear them. Just your list of questions triggered me. I dont know if I will EVER be able to date again, but at least I saved myself.

Man you aren't lying, it leaves deep deep scars. I'm blessed to not feel anything but glad she's gone! 14 years of misery!!!

Whether it's a new partner or a friend, as soon as the person isn't respectful and doesn't feel sorry for it, i walk away without even arguing; I don't care if there's an official "narcissistic" diagnosis or not. But I'm still traumatized and stuck with some family members... Also losing my son due to his narcissistic father feels like a permanent broken heart.

When I was in it, I didn’t understand what was happening. I was never good enough, too sensitive, and totally crazy. He drilled that into my head and I didn’t know if I was coming or going. I made notes of every conversation so I could come to him with facts about what happened. And he would still leave me confused and upset. He broke up with me 3 years ago. I had no where to go and no one. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through. It wasn’t easy. But I can say that now I am the healthiest and happiest I have ever been. Thank you for this video. It felt like you were talking to me and repairing and validating my personal pain.❤ there can always be strength and healing.

I was raised by narcissistic abusers. My exhusband was one. Two years after I left him I got into another one. Left him after 6mths. Was beginning something that lasted 2wks before their lack of respect and the imbalance made me decide to just end it before it begins. Mabe one day I'll be in a healthy relationship, but until then I fill my own cup. Thanks Jimmy.

The double standard is what got me the most out of myself over time. He could do, say, point fingers, ask me to be better, dismiss, forget me, etc etc but I in return, was told every little things u was doing wrong. And it didn't matter if the night before he was yelling and beliitling me for hours, the next day I was still supposed to be the perfect attentive and positive partners. Always double standards. And after seeing him after 9 months no contact.. it was still there. I cannot stay calm anymore in front of this. I'm not an angry person but with him I became... double standard over and over again. Lack of self awareness. The mountain of what he needs to be aware of is too big. And the worst is that sometimes I feel like he knows what he is doing wrong but yet choses to do it anyway and act as though he do not understand if I tell him.

I was raised by narcissistic parents, attracted narcissistic female relationships. Was bound and determined to heal from this by getting professional help. Found a specialized trauma therapist. Turned out to be the most incredibly intelligent covert narcissist/ emotional manipulator. Robbed me of my life savings. Imagine these people trained to make a living in the mental health field... shouldn't be legal.

I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 11 years. Now after 2 years, I am dating someone new, and it's horrible although it is a wonderful person. I'm only now realising the real after-effects of this previous abusive relationship, the fears, the doubts, the insecurities, the big problem of trusting someone again without thinking bad things.

I left a 10 year relationship earlier this year with who I believe is a narcissist or at least shows traits. Everything in this video is so spot on about how confused I was and how it made me question if I’m faking being a good person and am actually the narcissist. She finally cheated on me and the lack of accountability or straight up blaming me was the last straw and I left and moved home with my parents. I’ve started building a relationship slowly with one of my best friends and she’s so kind and gentle and patient with me, and always makes sure to encourage healthy and open communication between us. I’ve never been treated so selflessly before like this. It was extremely hard and hurt like hell to be the one to walk away, especially because she made me feel so guilty for not staying and trying harder (even though I tried like hell while she just made me feel bad or like I was “too much”). But leaving my ex was the best thing to ever happen to me. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and feel so free.

How do you always do that? Reach me in my core, make me cry and feel understood? How?😢 Your channel is one of the most helpful I ever found. Thank you for all you do. It's a healing experience, truly. Thanks Jimmy

I divorced the narcissist father of my First two kids 20 years ago and I clicked on this video because I feel like it left me with a stain that I will never recover from. I pretend or try or believe I’ve healed but this needs more attention than it’s ever gotten. Even in two years of therapy, we never talked about him. The only time we did, my therapist asked me why I cared at all about my interactions with him .😮 on the rare occasion that we interacted - the kids by then were 20. I have cut him off but like I said feel seriously BROKEN In Spirit by that experience