A major reason you feel UNSEEN and SHAMED in a narcissistic relationship

They ask you "why" but they don't want to know the true reason. They just blame you. 😖

I used to believe that anyone could change...I don't believe that anymore.

What I disliked hearing from people about being abused is " I don't like it when people say bad things about other people." Meaning I should not say anything about being abused or my abuser.😢😢

Most people don't understand there are some truly evil people

My whole life people have asked me what I did to my father because of how he treats me. I say "nothing," but no one believes me. It's pretty sick and twisted when the abuser gets the benefit of the doubt, and the scapegoat gets scapegoated further.

“Burning and drowning so called witches, that we now know were just outspoken women who were tired of being abused”—-Love you Dr. Ramani for speaking truth

when I was younger I called one of my parents out to a family member and I was told on to both parents. I was NOT believed and suffered hell ever since. people would rather keep and live by the status quo. they want to stay comfortable even at someone else’s expense.

It's easy to blame the victim.... They don't want to hear you, Because then they will have to do something about it.... And they don't .... give a dam..... Thank you Dr Ramani.....

"Why didn't you lock the door? This is your fault." Bingo!!! It is so easy to blame the victim! I got blamed when my ex cheated on me--"Why didn't you see the signs? Why did you trust him?" "Why (this)? Why (that)"? I was supposedly engaged to him and we are supposed to trust the person we are engaged/married to. I did it right. He is the perp here, not me. I did right to trust him. He did wrong by betraying that trust. Put the blame on the one who is committing the "crimes".

"It´s not your job to keep other´s fairy tales alive". This is so right Dr. Ramani! You have spoken for many of us!

They're like the main character in their movie..and we're like just specs of dust for them.

"Why?" Is like a auto-redirect back to non-acceptance and self blame and others blaming the person in relation to the narcissist. It's a reinforcement of suffering.

"behind closed doors" the narc abused. I won't qualify why. I stay away from most people. I stay in my lane. I get it, now. I was blamed for my own abuse.

Definitely real!….this tendency for people to blame rather than empathize/understand helps abusive people to continue what they’re doing….and the targets to feel shame in addition to what they went through at the hands of the abusers.😢

"F That" 👍 😂, "Come on now, it can't be that bad!" WRONG, it's WORSE!

It’s really A Lot to take in. And unfortunately most of the times you’re exhausted, weak and drained. Alone & left out in the cold.

So Brilliant. "Please don't be the sacrificial lamb to make someone feel good about the messes of their situation."

Society has the same attitude towards people with chronic illness and disabilities. They'd rather believe that you did something to deserve it than acknowledge that bad things can happen to good people.

My father started to molest me when I was 4. I loved my father. I thought "I will whisper it to my mother and she will make it stop." This was in 1957. Aunt, Uncle, mother, family doctor said "Don't tell lies like that, Mary Ellen." It took 50 years for one of them (my mother) to acknowledge it but only when I confronted her and even then with denial of her own part in the conspiracy. I suffered a lifetime of effects and they all watched and said nothing. My life was the sacrificial lamb that allowed them to live in their fantasy world.

Absolutely true, especially in the church community. Had I not had copies of his emails I wld have remained unbelieved. Narcissists are evil. God and his mercy delivered me. Took yrs to get over this trauma.