This Low-Budget Horror Movie is Terrifying...For All The Wrong Reasons

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If the “oh god” line of dialogue doesn’t become a recurring soundbite throughout Kurtis’s channel from now on, I’m going to be disappointed. That is “makin it stinky” tier audio.

Goblin shit is MASSIVE

I love how she screwed the goblin and is having his baby but he still has to live in the shed and have his food brought to him like a pet rather than a human-goblin hybrid baby daddy.

Shnoopsie sounds like a word a Christian mom would use instead of swearing when she stubs her toe

“You versus the goblin she told you not to worry about” except this time she absolutely DID tell you to worry about this goblin and you gaslit her and told her the goblin did not exist lmaoo

“just an old guy who knows shit about goblins” feels like a social media bio

I love that the actor who played Danny Jr. Told Kurtis on his podcast that he legit went into acting because he liked a girl in the drama class lmao

The whole trope of teachers accusing parents of being abusive because of a drawing is so funny to me. In kindergarten, I drew a boy with no eyes screaming while a stork flew away with an eyeball in its beak. Not because my parents were beating me, but because my dad told me a bedtime story about kids getting their eyes plucked out by birds and thought it was absolutely hilarious.

Pour one out for Elias. Spent his whole life preparing to fight a goblin, then immediately got fucked right up by literally the first goblin he ever met.

as soon as it said “9 months later” I just had a horrible feeling about what they were implying and I hate that I was right

When the goblin said "It's Goblin Time" I shook in my seat with shivers down my spine, such an incredible movie.

As soon as I saw the goblin eat someone I thought "this is someone fetish film isn't it?" And I think that ending proved me right

[edit] fine i’ll put SPOILERS here since you guys care so much about spoilers for a bad low-budget movie i like how the goblin literally ate her husband, her step-son, and her neighbor, and she still let it knock her up at the end

so youre telling me that goblin engulfed a whole cougar, the husband, step son, and neighbor but was fine with settling with a bowl of dog food ???

I love the old mans stereotypes in this movie, because he's the most german man I've ever seen in a low budged movie. He's got a realistic accent (didn't expect that!), of course he knows everything about some random medieval legend and dedicates his life to it, and he's got random prussian weaponery hanging in his home. Also why does he instantly think the anomalys are caused by a goblin? That pretty coincidental! He just moves from Germany to America to escape that Goblin, and there just happens to be the same goblin right next door?

I would be so offended at a teacher wasting my time, calling a meeting and accusing me of shit over a drawing like that. It just looks like the kid was trying to draw Shrek. That's what I'm most fired up about lol

Goblin: eats Sarah's step-son, neighbour and husband Sarah: he do be thicc though 😍

I thought the goblin was actually going to be her husband who “died” at war and he was turned into that creature due to some sick government experiment… the actual ending was so much worse 🙃

Kurtis pitching a movie called Goblin where the killer is a shark reminds me of the 100% real movie Possum, which is a movie obviously about… a spider. Actually it’s a really interesting movie though I thought it was a very interesting metaphor for childhood sexual abuse