Netflix's Awful Christmas Movies

These movies killed so many of my brain cells that I forgot Emma Roberts’ name.

The entire High School Musical franchise is Vanessa Hudgens almost kissing someone but getting interrupted so none of this surprises me

Emma Watson, Emma Roberts, Emma Stone... enough to get confused

Did anybody else realize that the knight before Christmas is just the first Thor movie? Guy is about to become a higher rank of something (whether it be a knight or a king) but gets sent through space or time to modern day, gets run over by the love interest driving a car, everyone thinks he’s crazy because he’s talking about where he’s from, they go to a cafe to get breakfast where the guy is impressed by the new food he’s eating, asks for “another” but acts improperly. And we all know Loki shares characteristics with the hag.

i love how sir coles accent just... disappears when he starts talking "modern" like every british person died in 1776

Old Crone: sends knight 700 years into the future to find love Knight: Dies immediately from 700 years of evolving diseases he had no previous exposure to with an immune system weakened by malnourishment.

Me: "Mom, can I have Emma Watson?" Mom: "No, we have Emma Watson at home" Emma Watson at home: 14:48

the most unrealistic part of this movie is not the time travel, but the fact that a middle school teacher has a GUEST house

"Get away from those children, you share characteristics with the hag!" my favourite line holy shit

There's also another common thread. Every single protagonist is extremely rich, working a clearly low paying job, and constantly complain they're life sucks.

"She's not the princess of Britain, she just is British. It doesn't make sense." Welcome to European royalty.

Obsessed with the fact that he refers to princess and the pauper rather than prince and the pauper. The impact Barbie has. Unmatched.

you cannot convince me that Vanessa Hudgens didn't sign up to do all those Christmas movies because she wanted to kiss a bunch of semi-attractive men

"you see, Sir Cole, here in 2019, we don't call women wenches. We merely imply that they are one" 💀

I was listening, and not watching, when Drew said “Emma Watson” instead of “Emma Roberts” and I thought “Damn, Hallmark got that Emma Watson money?”

"Ew, have I ever dated my handsome best friend? NO...... I like edward" Drew just described the plot of twilight Edit: woah, this is definitely the most likes i’ve ever gotten, thanks guys

I love how the movie ignores how blatantly sexist/racist Sir Cole would have been if this actually happened.

The romantic chemistry between the old crone and the knight brother at the end is too intense for the sequel to not be about them falling in love in the future

Netflix's goal is to ultimately create a universe filled with medieval knights dating several Vanessa Hudgens

First off, love that Old Crone looks like an elderly instagram model. Second, love that they actually went and named a knight "Circle". I can't believe I agonize so much when I name characters, and these writers went with "Sir Cole" and called it a day. Edit: Also, I love that Santa looks exactly like Glenn Close as the Boo Box guy in Hook.