Pretty Privilege | Khadija Mbowe

***CORRECTION: the definition does say that a privilege is an immunity, right, OR benefit so I kinda shot myself in the foot because under that definition it can still count as a privilege. I left it in because it’s a teachable moment for me in that I’m allowed to make a mistake. Being beautiful doesn’t shield you from certain hardships, just like being white (with regard to certain class issues) doesn’t...but it sure does help you navigate this world. I stand by the other issues I addressed about why people don’t wanna call it a privilege and I hope it still makes sense!

I often notice how, when a pretty person has certain interests and is a fan of something then its cool and quirky and when a more unattractive one likes the same things its weird, nerdy or something to make fun of hot gamer girl - good ugly gamer girl - nerdy and weird hot weeb - quirky and open minded ugly weeb - nerdy and lonely etc idk I just didn't see anyone mention this while going trough the comments

Although not on the topic of race, I lost 80 lbs and EVERYONE including my own mother treated me differently (much better). Beauty standards affect everyone, so we need to stop pretending they aren’t important

Thank you for mentioning the hypersexualization that "pretty" people can come across. Well balanced conversation.

I often noticed this when x-factor judges/audiences were shocked when a bigger person or someone not considered 'hot' was amazing at singing - as if looks have anything to do with musical ability

I feel smarter after watching your content. Lol no seriously. You put your video essays together so well.

Anyone that has ever been a big girl then lost weight can tell you the difference in how people treat them 😪

This is clearly a biased video BECAUSE YOU ARE GORGEOUS

"Teachers will give more attention to better-looking kids because they believe they will outperform in school." That god damn statement, HIT ME!!!! I'd been saying this for yeeeeeeeears and no one would believe meeeee!! AAAAAHHHH!!! Also, I find it slightly disturbing that, even though it's just a biological bias, teachers are taking note of the physical attractivness of students

I grew up fat and ugly and was lowkey ignored and shunned. People were surprised I was smart or good at sports because I was so awkward and dumpy or something. From that I developed weird disordered eating patterns and eventually apparently grew into my face whilst I was internally at my absolute worst. I was suddenly “cute”, when I was privately tearing my appearance apart 24/7. I started hearing the jokes that I only had my job because I was eye candy for guys four times my age from a female coworker. Other people started acting creepy and entitled to a body I didn’t even feel like I fully owned and I got sexually harassed and assaulted. Never got to be pretty enough to get free shit like some of my friends, and didn’t grow up ugly enough to dramatically shed the constant awkwardness to develop a lightning quick sense of compensatory humour like I was promised by common cliche. I feel fucking robbed, all I got was this complex trauma and twenty-three layers of trust issues.

I still remember when one of my sociology teachers talked about pretty privilege and started mentioning all the pretty girls in my classroom, at some point he looked at me, laughed and proceeded the lesson. He'd constantly hear and debate with the girls he mentioned before, but whenever I tried to engage in his discussions and answer his questions, he'd ignore me and mock my looks. lmao good times

Your point about blackness being a commodity is so true. I see my fellow south Asian friends co-opting a lot of terms from AAVE, but completely neglecting BLM or even the colourism in their own country, its sickening.

It's funny cause when I find someone pretty or attactive to me the moment they do anything "bad/rude/annoying" (within standard) they become unattractive to me. The same as someone that may not be my type if I get to know them, and they're a good person (our personality compatibility fits) they become attractive to me.

It is definetely a real thing. I agree with you on the Privilege part so I'll call it Pretty Bias for this. I lost 66 pounds and started wearing makeup and different clothes after highschool and suddenly, EVERYONE treated me differently. Men noticed me, friends would compliment me, my own family (even my mother) would be proudly interested in hearing what I had to say or asking me about my personal life because I was pretty now. It got to a point where I didn't know my own value and I constantly needed validation from others because that was the only way I saw myself - a pretty girl who needed to hear she was pretty. This also puts many other things in perspective but then I'd be writing a whole essay in your comment section so, let me stop right here, lol. Congrats on the video! I love it.

Ive been bullied all my life for being ugly. I still struggle to make friends because I feel like people already dislike me because I’m ugly :(

I think that there is absolutely privilege in being pretty, since our ideas about what "pretty" even looks like are rooted in racism, ableism, sexism, ageism, etc and you're afforded more power and social mobility the more you happen to line up with those standards. But being pretty often times goes hand in hand with being desirable, which is not a privilege (ex. men can desire women but that doesn't mean women wield systemic power over men), and it seems like that's the part where some people get tripped up.

I saw a tweet somewhere that brought up how "pretty privilege" is just a combination of gendered beauty expectations, colorism, racism & fatphobia. its based on beauty that's defined through the cishet white male gaze that determines a lot of the social and professional mobility of a person. I definitely agree with how you said that proximity to those standards doesn't necessarily grant "privilege" because of its averse affects. I can also definitely see that distance from that aesthetic has a lot of detrimental implications in social and professional settings as well. so like if you have it, it can be good or bad, but if you don't have it then its just bad lol

I was ugly and awkward in elementary and high school. I remember how doing things related to appearance like using make up, doing my hair, nails, or using lotion, these were all so painful because I though I looked so bad that it didn't matter. I also only wore discrete clothes because I was so scared that people would notice me. It got so bad that by the age of 17 I accepted that I just wasn't loveable. It's a terrible mental prison. Today I like my own appearance, and things like skin care, using accessories and nice clothes are so much easier. We live in this eternal paradox of trying to escape beauty standards, but we also don't want to be ugly: look natural, but don't look ugly. I wonder if we're ever getting over that.

When you were discussing pretty privilege in the context of obtaining a job, it immediately reminded me how I once learned that in South Korea, the hiring process involves attaching a photo of yourself to the job application. There was a video on YT I saw where a man from SK was talking about not being able to obtain a job because he was too unattractive by the societal beauty standards. Also it was really interesting for you to provide the examples of the two men who became models after their mugshots were circled.... I never connected pretty privilege to a situation like that, so thank you for that.

Pretty is a human trait like athleticism, intelligence, and height. It gives you an advantage.