Are Naomi Neo’s Parents Wrong For Hiding Her Adoption From Her? | TDK #70

I found out about it from my classmate who said she was born in China as well, guess her parents told her early. My parents denied it, but I have never really confronted them about it. I feel like a normal child and had every perks a parent could provide. Never really felt betrayed or lied to, instead I felt lucky. No tears or drama whatsoever, I just told my parents (still not admitting, but not denying) , I still see them as my parents no matter what. They had no emotions about this as well, and same for me. Our days go by as normal as any other parent and child The only thing stemming from this adoption issue was actually from my sister (also born in China and adopted probably ) where she asked if I plan to find my birth parents . (She is planning to do so , but I told her there's no purpose for me to do so). It's like a Pandora box, and I prefer it not to be opened.

Jon's entire stance in this conversation makes me understand why he struggles to be (or even want to be) in a relationship. The amount of baggage/trauma he carries and does not want to acknowledge/work through is astounding.

JP stances and JC stances really varied. Which is good because it creates conversations. Not everyone thinks the same or wants the same mah.

When the child has a good understanding of life, would be ideal. We shared the information with my brother when he was around 12 and provided the reason for the adoption and we were open if he wanted to know his birth mother. He decided not to as we regarded our parents as his true parents as we raised him with lots of love.

I like how John is being so rationale and understanding In the adoption and if the child is with any problems matter. Likewise JP doesn’t even understand the process of the whole birthing takes place and commented so much negativity on it till to a point Jon has to raise his voice “you yeah what!”’ JP, you wouldn’t know what the child will exactly be or have until he or she is being born.

Jon’s point about not loving the child instantly after giving birth really hits home for me. I also wondered that for a while, and felt very bad when I didn’t love n feel so much for the child, but of course it kicked in awhile later n I love her so much now

First! On a serious note, I really like how y'guys touched on the topic of IVF and how expensive and tough it is on the lady. To add on, adoption is somewhat taboo here and not as common, probably ties back to our asian core values. I am a new subscriber but I have been enjoying your content so far, keep up with what you have done right so well and I look forward to more videos from y'guys!

Great topic! why do we encourage adoption of pets but not children? Personally it's of the same vein - help children already born and need help & love. In fact I would go to say adopting is showing more love than giving birth bc it's a deliberate choice

Great chat guys, JP going in with the hard questions! Keep it guys love this

What started out as a light-hearted conversation filled with little jokes evolved into a very deep and heartfelt discussion that I think everyone must have. Perhaps this is the video to share when people say "Listen what podcast? So long and boring!". (Ironically my new favourite TDK episode does not feature the creator himself.)

I always knew that I was adopted. I was born in Indonesia and adopted by my singaporean Chinese single mum. I never felt like I was missing something in life when I looked at my friends with 2 parents HOWEVER I felt the need to hide the fact that I was adopted when I was younger because Singapore isn’t really big or accepting about adoption back then. It was something “shameful” for me but looking back it’s really stupid of me to think! But now that I’m older I’m really thankful that i always knew that I’m adopted and it saves me the heartache to know the truth when I’m older and I m very grateful to be in Singapore to have a better life :) my adoptive mum is also very open about it if I do want to search for my biological parent in the future so I find that really cool of her. I’m all for telling the truth from the beginning

This is a topic where I’m really interested as to what Dan has to say about it. I believe his presence could change the dynamic and perhaps bring in another view of the topic

This was such a good episode. Looking forward to make deep conversations like this.

I have a pair of angry and abusive parents. Growing up I thought that I'm must not be their real born child because why would they treat their own flesh and blood so horribly. I wish I was adopted and gonna look for my real parents when I grew up. Sad news, I was not adopted and they are my real parents. Adopted or not, just be grateful you have loving parents...

23:59 “Yeah, you yeah what?” To be honest, this is the first time I’ve heard Jon raised his voice at JP!

Good episode!

i listened to the podcast first. then watched the video. there are so much nuances in your conversations that the podcast causes confusion or makes little sense. it only comes full circle after i watched the full vid.

Story time: I’m an Indonesian Eurasian who was brought up by a Chinese family. Growing up, I looked significantly different compared to my family members and from the get go, I’ve always felt like I was adopted. My family consisted of light skins and I was just so much ‘darker’. In Primary to Secondary school, I would always get made fun of and my peers/‘friends’ would also say ‘Why you so black’ and it has always haunted me. I would get made fun of being adopted and they would also question me ‘Why your parents like that and why you like that’ and I never knew how to answer it back then. I would go home and cry because of all the verbal abuse and mockery. I hated school and even the park (where I played soccer with neighbours). They would make fun of me and called me ‘adopted kid’ just for fun. How I found out was when my late uncle stood up for the bullies at the park and I ran to my grandma and asked (in Hainanese). She wouldn’t give me and answer straight and my parents, more so my dad, would also say ‘You’re god given’ but as a kid, I didn’t believe in a bigger thing than myself. I was always fed fairy tales and I disliked being not told the truth (from my family). I had to sit my parents down (then P6 to Sec 2) and they could finally tell me the truth. I balled my eyes out because of all the built up emotions leading to questioning them. Now 22, I’ve realised that telling the truth at a young age to an adoptee, is the better way to come around. I sometimes still always wonder about the ‘what ifs’ but try to be more ‘in the present’. The verbal abuse growing up still stuck with me since young and I’ve been learning to ‘let go’ but there will always be a part of me that thinks about ‘Am I me through geography’. I’m fortunate to be adopted. I love and care for my parents through thick, thick, sickness and health. I’m forever grateful and always will be considered ‘lucky’ as there was a family that took me in because they wanted to love a child. However, I think being honest, explaining to the kid why and how and answering as honestly as possible, would give a better understanding as to why the kid was adopted in the first place. From one adopted kid to another, our parents keep it to themselves for a reason. They are also afraid. Please be patient with them as they are also trying to find a way to break it to you. I’ve always wanted to ‘find’ my birth parents but have accepted the fact that I’ll never be able to. Being able to accept and appreciate all that they have done and are still doing or trying to do so, makes it easier to accept. Happy Valentine’s Day. Give yourself a try.

I think once you're an influencer, anything controversial and personal will always be leveraged to garner views and attention. At least for the majority of them.

My parents never once hidden the fact that I was. Ever since I learned how to talk...they explained it to me. And honestly...I think that is the best than finding out when you're older.