The MOST SADDEST Valentine’s Day Episode Ever?! | TDK Podcast #179

Act blur, live longer? Who would you side with if your parent and partner were on opposing sides?

TDK seriously took Singapore YouTube to another level where intimate issues are discussed with maturity and different level of perspective. Coming from Asian value and culture, it is very hard to discuss and share such topics. Thanks TDK for asking some of the most difficult questions and doing it in a not so serious setting. Please produce more such contents.

John failed to shift his own perspective and made it parents vs. wife. Couldve easily been helping Pat renavigate this feeling of possessiveness. Her feeling that way is legitimate and perhaps her sense of loss is trauma based. A husband who then threaten for divorce out of a completely normal emotion isnt helping her whatsoever. You expect her to go away w this issue and come back once its resolved

Hmm…Pat did well to hang on and not give up. I could be wrong, maybe the story being shared was just a summary, but it does sort of seem like the communication wasn’t very effective. Rather than shutting down the whole issue as “this can’t be solved, neither of us can help the way you feel, please stop ranting about it”, I think it would potentially have helped to keep trying, you know? It’s really not a matter of having to choose between your loved ones as John puts it. That’s a little sulky - and I get it, you had to live through the unpleasantness, you have the right to express it - but maybe with the power of hindsight you can think about how you could have done better as well? I’m not saying that you’ll find anything that works, but at the very least, putting in effort to try out mini solutions (nothing extreme, “I choose you over them” sort of thing) will tend to make the other party feel better because they see how much you care. Be it sharing concerns with the parents, trying to carve out some individual space in the house, etc., I think things could have been a little better had the attitude been more of a “okay I see, how about we try this” sort of thing, where you’re impartial and not also getting emotional about it. Mr naiive’s (lol) pov may be quite idealistic, and whether or not he can really do it when push comes to shove is unknown, but i thought his response about wanting to be there to make things better precisely because the other party is doomed to continue suffering was really mature (and high EQ!) - and this is coming from someone who has always been staunch on the idea of not sharing everything with one’s partner, and wanting to have the freedom to solve my own issues without letting anyone know. I think i learnt the most from him today!

Pat is such a great wife. If my husband ever tell me what Jon said to Pat about him choosing his parents over me, I would file for divorce no matter what. To me filial piety is great but I have to be number 1 no matter what, and since it is my house, I should have the say.

I love how mr. naive really help bring out the best conversation in this episode

Jared, we share the same ‘tools’ and ‘views’ on marriage and the significant role of our partner. what i can tell you is it worked for me and mine and we are already in the double digit of wedding anniversaries.so you do you. the same set of tools and views may not work for every individual.. #teamnaive

I agree with Jared's pov on sharing with your partner the good and the bad, prob just choose a good sensitive time if your partner is going through some rough time themselves. The 9:40 part about being each other's rock first and foremost, and if either party thinks its not worth the hassle sharing, unfortunately the rs will go downhill from there over the years. Anybody here watched 18 Again a korean drama? I think it touched on the theme of love and marriage very well. Worth a watch to get one thinking about our relationships with our partners

Jared’s principles 8:55 of sharing each other’s joys and burdens….you are married to each other, hence you share everything as ONE … when you start sharing with others rather than your spouse, then there is already some trouble waters surfacing and it will only gets worst. Then why get married?

Hi guys, great episode once again. Based on John’s perspective at 3:44…when you are buying dinner for your employees, or even for colleagues or anyone who has rendered assistance, it is good to be forthcoming with your intentions to explain clearly to your spouse, they will understand, just as how you have explained/reason why you needed to belanja when you are trying to not spend. Rather then them thinking that you are spending on others and not on them….or try to hide the truth. Nothing good comes from hiding or tell a white lie…it will come back to bite you or worst, your conscience will suffer. When your spouse knows you and your intentions, you’ll be surprise to see their support and your appreciation for one another will strengthen.

these are honestly the best kinds of episodes

thanks for bringing Jared back! he fits in with you guys very well and adds good points!

Hi Mr. Naive! We need this kinda person coming on the show once in a while to help us see how mature Dan, Jon, JP are.

TLDR "Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to." - Agent K ( MIB) When ever the phase dating exclusively starts after the trial period. Don't want to know. Don't need to know. She will tell me when she is ready to. Girls night out ? have fun ! Its gaming session in a man cave with some pals for me. She hanging out with a guy before our time ? What is there to be jealous about ? I am the chosen one ! I have the high ground. Jealousy just leads to fear, fear leads to hate, and hate well leads to the dark side.

Naive! I like how optimistic he is… thinking that he can listen to a rant that he alr tried to solve over and over. I like how JP blinked at him while he’s saying that

Such an important episode to have. Bravo.

denise saying "dont nervous dont nervous" got me HAHA

It's the same conversation over and over again but maybe because for the whole six months it was a constant stress for her. Was she looking for you to do something or was she just looking for an outlet to cope with the change? I don't feel like sides need to be taken here but it doesn't invalidate her bringing it up

Mr Naive is a great addition to banter with the rest of the cast.

perilla leaf dilemma! tip 1: separate the leaf (helping partner’s friend) but do not put into the person’s bowl -leave it on the same dish. tip 2: put it into the bowl of partner’s friend AND one leaf for partner. problem = solved :D