How Your Childhood Influence The Way You Express Love (love styles)

Which love style do you relate to most in the video? Comment below, and if you find them accurate!

imagine society where parents go to therapy before having a child

"Every child deserves a parent, not every parent deserves a child"

"learning to be compliant helped keep any attention off of yourself" dang that took me back

I can to relate to ALL of them! 🙁 I did have a somewhat dramatic childhood and have done so much work to shift out of the unhealthy behaviors but I still struggle in my most intimate relationships. Identifying with those wounds may be keeping me stuck. Now that II’ve identified them here, Perhaps I can send some forgiveness and healing to them. 🙏🏻🌻💕

dear parents, start understanding your children instead of thinking you know everything about them

1. When your family isn't affectionate, when you rarely receiving hugs, kisses or "I love you" and you grew up don't know how to do those things without being awkward or feeling weird

I’m a pleaser and everything said was pinpoint. As an only child, I was always given so much expectations. It wasn’t easy always trying to please my parents. It reached a point where it was mainly about their happiness over mine. 22 years now, I can see it in my relationship. I’m 2 years and 4 months into my relationship, and I must say, just as the video says, I’m fond of sacrificing for my girlfriend. I don’t know, but deep down it feels so much better when she is smiling, so everything possible. Be it, getting into debt or whatever. I’ll sort out my issues later.

I experienced all those childhood traumas ... Kinda heartbreaking because people often invalidate my feelings when I wanted to share my experiences to them.

“Everything else you grow out of, but you never recover from childhood.”

It's crazy how your childhood effects your whole life

okay well im the mix of an avoider and a pleaser and its crazy how much ur childhood affects u. i knew that my childhood wasnt good but it still hurts knowing this caused my parents behavior.

The Pleaser hit so hard i couldnt- its so true..

"im sorry..." "ill be better next time..." "sure..." that hitted me hard

about number 4: being a pleaser is also often a result of growing up in an enviroment where your parents' moods change quickly from calm to angry, so you develop an empathetic mind set, where you try to control the mood of those around you. Growing up you had to sense the atmosphere and know how to act the way that didn't trigger your parents' mood.

I felt like I'm everything you just described. my childhood really was something.

Christ... Can you have all of these? Cause the description of the childhoods was dead on for me.

Also everyone: One person is not limited to ONE each. One person can have multiple love styles/ Love languages.

"People usually saw you as the good kid, rather than receiving comfort from your parents, you may have actually been giving them comfort..." mind blown

I feel like the pleaser can also stem from having high expectations for yourself. While your parents do have expectations for you to do good, you have expectations for you to do great, and excel. When you don’t meet those you’re hard on yourself and that has a toll on you, so to make yourself feel better you’d sacrifice your well being for your friends or partner(s), instead of worrying about yourself.