This is Financial Advice
4,406,426
Published 2023-09-30
I tell you what, when you try and tell this story you either sum it up in ten minutes with the broadest strokes or you settle in for a rabbit hole made entirely out of onions and ogres. Conspiracy theorists flock together and constantly try and rope each other into the orbit of their personal hobby horse conspiracy, so once you break the surface suddenly you're digging through endless side stories, each with their own cast of characters, trying to figure out if some tertiary claim is true, was maybe true in the past but is no longer true, or was never true, and discover that the only sources on the matter are the same three people quoting each other in an endless circle of false legitimacy.
Written by Dan Olson and Nathan Landel
Performed by Dan Olson
Camera by Dan Olson and Kara Artym
Edited by Dan Olson
Production Assistant Laura Schultz
Featuring music by Young Neighbours - linktr.ee/youngneighbours
Special thanks to Eric Pauls, a friend of mine from film school, for digging up 15 year old hard drives just to re-master some songs he wrote back in college when I was like "those old tracks you and Cam did, they've got the perfect vibe I'm looking for!"
Crowdfunding: www.patreon.com/foldablehuman
Twitter: twitter.com/FoldableHuman
BlueSky:
00:00:00 - Diamond Hands
00:02:14 - Heat Lamp
00:13:26 - GME Fallout
00:23:31 - MOASS
00:58:10 - The Vote
01:04:36 - Deep F*ing Value
01:12:39 - Measure of a Meme Stock
01:16:38 - Due Diligence
01:50:27 - The Book King
01:55:38 - Teddy Day
02:07:32 - BBBY Endgame
02:18:03 - BBBankruptcy
All Comments (21)
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That gamer section was so sad. I cannot stress this enough: Video games are DESIGNED to let you win (regardless of how difficult that win was). Real life? Not at all.
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"I don't believe those government snakes, they are corrupt and don't play by the rules" and "The US government will play by these exact rules and give us billions of dollars" are fascinating beliefs to coexist in someone's head.
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“The squeeze never ended”, to me, is akin to believing the married man you’re dating is going to leave his wife.
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My ex was bamboozled into buying GME behind my back by a former friend, leading to our divorce. My stomach dropped when I later found out said former friend also happened to be in the capitol on Jan. 6.
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Dan seems to run on a pretty much exactly 3 way split between, "hey look at this interesting sociological trend", "I really genuinely want to help financially venerable people avoid scams" and "Bullying grifters is enormously fun".
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I've rewatched this video several times now, and I'm still struck by the casual cruelty of "wife-changing money"
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The absolute gall to use the phrase “wife changing money” for the third or fourth time at around the hour 35 mark without explaining what it means and then beginning the next sentence with “sharp eared listeners may have heard me say ‘dividends’ in there”
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I once had a student who insisted he had a better system to do math than algebra, calculus and trig. His “system” completely misunderstood how numbers fundamentally worked. He made up his own terms for concepts that didn’t exist and missed how numbers connected to reality. His entire “system” became a justification for why he was actually right when he just didn’t get math, and any attempt to explain to him why he was wrong was instantly met with a shutdown of the conversation. This is that but stonks.
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"I will be rich after global financial collapse" is just such a patently absurd thing to believe in
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The phrase "wife changing money" is costing me years off of my life. Everything is monetizable and transactional to these people. Nothing is real.
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As someone who was fascinated by oddball cults when I was younger, it's genuinely impressive how "apes" managed to make a completely secular cult that rivals some of the weirdest.
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fun easter egg: at the start of Line Goes Up dan uses an analogy comparing the banks of the '08 crash to rotten trees so big that when they fell they'd take all their neighbors with them at the start of this video, he is filming standing in front of a dead tree fallen over in an empty field lol
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Shout out to the Game Stop employee who was like "umm, I don't think it makes sense to merge a video game store with a company that sells candles."
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Structuring the entire essay just to make a "Chapter 11: Bankcuptcy" joke is an absolutely incredible flex
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2:04:50 I love how "don't put all your eggs in one basket" gets interpreted by apes as "put all your eggs in one basket, plus this second basket which we believe will soon merge with the first basket, thereby becoming the same, singular basket. With all your eggs in it." For a group that claims to be good at interpreting secret messages, they are just consistently, astonishingly bad at reading the plaintext.
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2:27:06 "No one deserves to be exploited like this. No one deserves to get shaken down by grifters to the point that they have no other choice but to become grifters themselves and shake down everyone else around them. No one deserves to have their ego and security ground down to the point that there's no escape, no reason to step back and admit defeat, no reason to reflect." Just leaving this out so it doesn't get lost in the noise. I would pay money to put this quote on a billboard.
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You wanna know the biggest mistake the hedgies made? They messed with knitters. KNITTERS. The same people who will sit in a rocking chair for HOURS ON END looping FABRIC with NEEDLES just to watch a SCARF FOR A FRIEND get SLIGHTLY LONGER, only stopping to SIP TEA or occasionally GENTLY PET A CAT. WE WILL NEVER BACK DOWN!!!!!
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Even if the apes were right about literally everything and the MOASS arrived, their only reward would be a knife in the back as the rules magically changed in front of them, and there would be nothing they could do to stop it. For all of their baking and theorycrafting, they've already agreed to play someone else's game on someone else's field. Even if they truly have figured out how to hack the system, they're still forgetting the most important truth: the house always wins.
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The cybertruck line has aged like the finest wine
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"It feels like we're driving backwards really fast at a wall and just before we hit it, the secret level in ready player one is going to open up and let us pass by the entire race and win" oh god no, that is incredibly sad. I can't even make a joke. I just blurted "oh no" as soon as I heard it
