Incels make the world go round

A profesor at the University of Indiana once told me, “Fathers are raising their sons for a world that no longer exists.” That really got me thinking.

It's crazy how normal teenage insecurity was monetized and SEVERELY enhanced....dystopian as fuck.

Theres this quote I love from Brennan Lee Mulligan, quoting his professor: "... people are not motivated by ideological codes. People are motivated by impulse and construct ideological codes to justify and rationalize what they were already going to do. An old professor of mine had this great thing. He said, “On the level of individuals and civilizations, personality predates ideology.” Meaning that before you were a fascist, you were a bully and an asshole".

If there is ONE THING I have been able to be proud of myself for, it’s that I NEVER got into the manosphere despite my depression, low self esteem and worsening mental health. I knew that, despite my suffering, to be arrogant and blame my suffering on others was a delusion. I found the problems from within.

"a lot of these people were shitty before they found andrew tate" - YES, TY, NOT ALL OF US ACCIDENTALED OUR WAY INTO A NAZI PHASE, THAT SHIT IS NOT JUST SOME NORMAL TEENAGE RITE OF PASSAGE

23 Year old lonely bitter dude here, got into the whole redpill and manosphere stuff when I was 19 because I was bitter that I wasnt desired by people. Only thing it made me was more bitter and depressed because I was everything the manosphere says women despise. Short, brown, funny accent, weird eyes, weird nose and a weird smile. Took me a while to get out of it but I did eventually. Still dont like myself BUT at least Im not as bitter as i was. It was your videos on the manosphere and some others that got me to start questioning it. Im just ranting at this point but your videos were great help to get me out of that weird circle (Ps I'm Pakistani and English isn't my first language so I apologize if some parts don't make sense, trying my best)

what's crazy to me when they talk about incels is how men can acknowledge that it's a human need to have sex and yet in the same breath can say that women deserve to die in pregnancy BECAUSE SHE HAD SEX and that is her fault..... make it make sense.

25y/o, I’m AFAB, but my 49y/o MARRIED dad has been listening to and repeating a lot of manosphere stuff in recent years. This man has 3 daughters and a wife (plus my brother who has thankfully not fallen for this bs), and any time I’ve tried to push back on his rhetoric he just goes on about how I don’t understand and then he just walks away while I’m mid-sentence. He speaks to my mother like she’s a toddler. He says rude shit about my little brother for not being “masculine” enough. He just sits at the kitchen table, drinking and watching “triggered libs,” Andrew Tate, and other misogynistic creators like JLP all day and ignores or condescends to us all day. I truly feel like the manosphere (among other ideologies) has stolen my dad from us.

As a lonely guy who struggles to meet people and navigate romance... I think a lot of guys forget how many women are in that exact same situation and how little they are being listened to.

“Men these days are too feminine discourse stretches back to the 1800s” Michel Foucault traces it back even further, to ancient greece, where one writer complained about young men of his day indulging in “feminine” expressions such as theatre and dance.

His salary buys less, but his pride begs him to say, “The woman in my life doesn't have to work, and I like it that way.” What he really may mean is that although his harem has only one occupant at a time, he does not want her wandering about too freely without the veil that the home provides. He is not nearly as secure in his masculine role as he would have others believe, and he allows his mate’s growing independence to threaten him emotionally.” Men’s Liberation Jack Nichols 1975

I've never been the type of man who tried to show I was a man by dominating woman...and it never made me less of a man...your manhood isn't measured by dominating others, but by standing on principle, standing up for what's right, and taking care of your family...

thank you for addressing the autism side of this conversation. i’m an autistic woman and i’ve been so frustrated about how the “autistic school shooter” image has damaged our community this past decade.

Five years ago I found out about my wife’s many infidelities throughout our fifteen year marriage. I was completely traumatized. I was working through my recovery and stumbled upon MGTOW content. It was really easy to fall into the trappings of those ideas because I was so hurt. Fortunately my affair recovery program and therapists pushed back on these ideas and I didn’t stay in there too long so I empathize with men who fall into because it’s very enticing when you feel so broken. When you feel like you’re not enough. Today I’m much healthier and I’m grateful for content like this because it helps me from falling back into the trappings of manosphere ideas and rhetoric. F.D, you are appreciated

I have 2 daughters, and my 7yo hangs out with a few boys in my mom's neighborhood when we go over on weekends. One is a really sweet kid, the other is a bossy asshole. He is definitely raised with those toxic ideals of masculinity, I've met his dad. But I've noticed that just being around a girl who isn't intimidated by him and coming over and hearing how we talk with kids and each other has made him chill out over the past year. My daughter is more than happy to explain to him about having 2 dads and how one is trans (she's likes being the LGBTQ expert among them). He's also really impressed that I'm a molecular scientist; he asks me about science whenever he can. Hopefully, he won't end up falling into the manosphere. Not when one of his best friends is a girl with queer parents who can literally pick him up and throw him (that child is crazy strong).

I'm a clinical mental health counselor who works with 16-24 year olds. And most if my male clients will at least reference the manosphere as a positive source of information. Some of my female clients are dating some of those same pro-manosphere guys and are in psychologically abusive relationships. They are property to be dominated and ran.

As a short man with Asperger’s, I spent most of my twenties being depressed and bitter that I wasn’t desired by women. My brother often advised me to watch videos by pickup artists, etc. But I was never really interested in that stuff. Just seemed like a con to me. Anyway, a few years ago I met a woman by chance through Instagram, after I started posting music vids. We texted back and forth and became friends and eventually started dating. I was 34 and honestly never expected that somebody would love me, but she really seemed to. And whilst it boosted my self esteem for a short time, it didn’t completely heal me in the way I imagined a relationship would. I still struggled with depressed, and anger, and was still insecure about my masculinity. These battles are ongoing. I suppose I’m saying to anybody who is struggling like I was, don’t count yourself out yet, new people can come into your life at any time, probably when you’re not expecting it. And also, a relationship doesn’t fix you. I don’t really know what fixes a person, but I don’t think it comes from an external place.

I just want to say I'm not a guy but I am autistic and the "autistic people are going to be more likely to have life experiences that push them into online echo chambers" bit is absolutely correct. Many of us have far better social outcomes in online spaces where things like tone and body language play less of a role in communication, and because of the nature of the internet this can cause a spiral of rejecting face to face interaction in favor of comfortable online echo chambers. To be clear, I think online hobbies are valid, I think having online friends is valid, but your entire life cannot be spent locked in a box filled with people trying to sell you things.

I’m a lonely disabled 22yo, so I really appreciated the segment about disability and loneliness. As a disabled person, a lot of the time I feel like I’m not allowed to talk about my own loneliness, about my needs and desires for touch and intimacy as to not make everyone around me uncomfortable. It’s even harder (for me) as a straight disabled man because a lot of the discourse around disability and dating are typically dominated by people trying to date men (straight women and gay men), not saying their perspectives aren’t valid or useful, but having a disabled man talk about his experiences on trying to date women, just feels more relatable and validating to me. It just makes me feel less alone seeing someone as close to me as possible, struggling with the same things I am. I’d be lying if I said that I’m still not a little frustrated with my loneliness, but I think making a video talking about my difficulties with self confidence and feeling deserving of love and reaching out to other disabled people on their experinces, would be a much better use of my time than sitting here bitter on my phone lol. (I’m going blind in both my eyes btw, Retinitis Pigmentosa and ADHD)

Funnily enough. The 1950s housewife ideal didn't exist in the black community back then. Both were working outside the home 😂