Women, S3ggs, & the Internet | Khadija Mbowe

Yes the “people with vulvas” was not my finest moment, I hope y’all know by now we don’t fraternize with TERFs on this channel nevertheless, the language matters. I got y’all in the deep dive 💕 Also, please read the article I linked in the description. Esperanza is a feminist, union organizer, and her paper centres Trans women (it’s specifically about prostitution and she uses that word over sex work intentionally.)

being sexualized is my least favourite part of being a woman. I would do anything to be seen as a human being first.

I used to work in anti sex trafficking, and before then I was all for positive sex work ideologies. After seeing the other side, you realize that the way we sometimes talk about swx work does a lot to erase the most common and ugliest experiences from a lot of people who don't have the privilege of an only fans account. It's a complex dynamic and you did a great job of engaging, can't wait to hear part 2.

Khadija really is the Batman but somehow the Joker of commentary YouTube. I love the duality

"If your liberation doesn't upset your oppressor, you are not liberated at all."

I have many conflicted thoughts about this. Lately, I have been thinking about how straight men have been "sexually liberated" for much longer than women, but this liberation has never been about exposing or exploiting their own bodies. So why this, in particular, is a center of the women's liberation movement. Not only are the men the ones that are being more financially benefited in these industries, but also the main consumer. At times it feels like, as a community, women decided that if our bodies are going to be exploited anyway, we might as well gain something out of this. Idk how u all feel, but this doesn't feel empowering to me. As much as this benefits women it feels like it benefits other people much more. I guess that is ok, but also, how f...ing convenient.

I would LOVE for you to cover consent. I am a former sex worker, and I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. He is the first man I've ever encountered who truly understands consent and it was surreal being with him at first. It was also wild how much time I had to spend convincing hi. I wasn't some nympho who might at any moment stumble back into what to me was nothing more than a job, and not even a good job at that.

“What men will pay for, is what the world becomes” (paraphrasing) just BLEW my mind. Wow. Amazing video. You have a way of talking about really important shit in a way that doesn’t leave me feeling hopeless. Thank you!

Speaking of the infamous "Deep Throat," I would highly recommend looking deeper into Linda Lovelace's life. She later recounted that she was being sexually trafficked, exploited, and abused by her then-husband who also coerced her to do this trash movie against her will...other people knew but, as per usual, no one batted an eye. She said that anyone watching it would be witnessing her being r*ped and abused. I hate that this is not common knowledge, this woman went through too much.

Wow!! The idea that the desire for access to women's bodies is the catalyst for men evolving the internet is fascinating 👏🏾

I never knew that about the dress J Lo wore and it's impact on the internet! It seems the exploitation of women will never end-we have sooo much more to "break the internet" with. Thanks for always bringing a range of content...keep singing, dropping knowledge, and spreading love!

I would really love a video on consent. As a sex worker I have been S.A., I think people often forget just because you do that as a job that it doesn’t mean it takes away any bodily consent you have. Even in the past before my current partner, I often found that if guys I dated knew I was a stripper they wouldn’t care as much to get my consent. Also they would expect me to be insanely sexual all the time which is just not it. It’s hard too being in the industry, I have been traumatised at times in it but a lot of that is because there aren’t proper laws in place to protect sex workers. We are also still pretty ostracised even tho it’s become more talked about on social media. I also just feel like it’s hard to criticise it without people being like “this is completely feminist, if this work doesn’t work for you get out” or “sex work should be illegal and it’s disgusting” like it feels like there isn’t an in between where we could actually make improvements and make it safer. And people forget there are real people doing these jobs like me. I am real, I am here, I have gone through some shit and as I heal it’s my mission to one day make it a safer environment for other sex workers. No one deserves to go through what I have gone through and what some of my friends have gone through in the industry. We are people like anyone else.

"Having to prostitute my personality on a platform that takes 1/2 my money" Honestly, I think you covered parasocial relationships, but that sentence could be it's own video right there.

Really appreciate this video and this dialogue. Years ago I dated a porn addict. He told me he was when we met. Coincidentally, before I knew this part of him, he was a very almost performative self proclaimed “feminist”. He would almost never have any opinion about anything, especially my appearance because he said that “You can do whatever you want”. Like my choice not to shave my armpits was met with him saying that “I have no control over what you do, I am a feminist” which was true, but also for some reason was frustrating the way he always said that. Then, when he told me he was a porn addict, spending sometimes 10 hours a day watching it, I said.. “I thought you were a feminist”. He argues that it WAS feminist to watch porn be a it was supporting women’s sexual liberation. I got so angry. Not because I don’t support Women’s sexual liberation - women should own their bodies and the commodification of them! But because his idea of feminism was so off about that. Justification of his addiction. He said I obviously wasn’t a feminist if I didn’t agree with the porn industry that he supported. Which I think is very incorrect belief but maybe not, let me know what you think. It is a deep and nuanced subject to be had by us and to be understood by men, but he just didn’t get what I was trying to say.

Ask a guy who sleeps with sex workers how he’d feel if his daughter became one. It becomes pretty clear pretty quick that they’re aware of the dangers and impacts, but when it isn’t someone who is a close relation to them, they don’t give a shit

khadija, i am a trans woman from brazil, a country where the unemployment of trans women is so massive that most people that identify with this gender identity is pushed onto sex work on some way, myself included. i have long thought of the implications of my existence and the huge weird con that happens in brazil in regards to this cycle of being denied jobs and having to become a sex worker and never being welcome in social spaces because you’re a trans woman + sex worker, and i think i might add a lot to the debate in a next video, would love to be a part of it somehow!

I think its worth discussing how despite how commodified sex and women have become, the devaluing of women in the process, mainly wex workers, is crazy and makes women seem disposable once they cross "the point of no return" that is sex work . its something that hardly ever gets brought up in the true crime community. The easiest way to illustrate what I mean is how sex workers are often targeted by serial killers because of their vulnerability and weaponsizing the apathy of cops to their murders and disappeances seriously. Thats so blatantly discrimination and devaluing people based upon the idea that sex workers are not sympathetic victims snd dont deserve to be taken seriously.

If woman's bodies were not made so taboo it would gain less attention; because I can't imagine a naked man breaking the internet no matter his class in society

I've done survival sex work and even then on isolated occasions because my anxiety is so high it stops me from meeting up with clients often. Men rarely think about consequences their actions have on the health of others or themselves. Especially if it involves screwing. Most clients don't want to use protection- which leaving aside how they don't care about my health as I am just a commodity- they don't even ponder about the possibility I might carry a potentially deadly disease, for example. Nope. Meanwhile us women have to worry about a myriad of catastrophic consequences every time we make a risky reproductive choice. It's no wonder they always boast about how much money they'd make selling themselves when they don't look at the downside. I'm autistic so I get overwhelmed by basic tasks, the upkeep needed to guarantee my health and safety in such a risky line of work makes me more likely to starve than to make cash. It's a sensory hell being with men as well. Wish dying was easy.

You so close to 500k even I could smell it 😮‍💨 and it is FRAGRANT 😩