ADHD: Sensitivity, Shame, and Self-Acceptance with Jessica McCabe | Being Well Podcast

30:43 You can't punish away ADHD. I wish my parents, teachers, and elementary school principal had heard that 40 years ago.

I cried watching this. Just turned 50 undiagnosed still. Went into a huge rejection spiral around my birthday and isolated for the whole month...

I've so noticed (I'm ADHD, have 2 kiddos that are ADHD), and we are fine saying, "Hey, I need a break for lunch, or to go to the bathroom, etc." It truly underscores the fact that having needs is universal. Needing things that aren't typical is the rub l. I can't tell you how many hours I worked for free because I wasn't able to prioritize, organize, and set boundaries! I am 65 years old. Growing up, no one was discussing any of this!! I'm so grateful for this channel!!!

PLEASE if you have ADHD children, adapt to get through bad behavior, but most importantly, focus on making your kid feel wanted and like you're just thrilled to have them around. Always being mad, annoyed, or frustrated WILL make your kid mask, and make them feel unwanted and broken.

WE OUT HERE

I'm finding u one day after finding Jessica and I can't type it LOUD🗣 enough to express how much I needed this validation🤯💯 It's brought me to tears💜 Everything said was/is ME!! My childhood, being corrected, called lazy and a brat and too sensitive😭A million therapists with no solitions or empathy. I struggle with depression, anxiety, severe insomnia, PTSD, and substance use to numb the big emotions and quiet the harassing thoughts, with no good support😣 I've felt misunderstood my entire life and I've forced myself into unbearable isolation, telling/lying to myself that I don't want or need people💔 But for the 1st time...I have a glimmer of hope for my future now that I've found How To ADHD and I'm excited to use these new tools to rewire my brain, to end the 39yr battle in my head that imprisoned me🥹 I no longer feel completely alone and broken🥲 I feel like I've arrived😊

Love Jessica! Our ADHD queen!

"These are my specs" are an awesome sentence. Thank you for that one :)

This resonates with so much even at my age of 57. So many years without meds,, only at 47, I started. My childhood was tough in many aspects, with childhood trauma . That internal voice was so harsh from about first grade and on throughout my life. In the last 10 years I have learned so much about my diagnosis. I'm much better at being kind to myself but still struggle at times. I've chose to stay single, I was married for 23 years to someone that didn't understand or like my ADHD ways. I only needed one voice being disappointed in me. ❤

OMGGG!!!! THE MOST IMPORTANT COLLAB EVER! You both are great! Hello brains!

Thank you, Jessica for what you share at 28:00. (And here is your honorary Ph.D.) So-called 'ADHD' is not an Attention DEFICIT; it is Attention REGULATION Challenge! (Call it 'ARC'. And I hate the use of 'disorder' when, for most of us, it started out as a 'coping mechanism'. What helped us cope as little kids with a chaotic context (environment) is not a 'disorder'.) Cheers! - Richard "Tomorrow's mastery begins with mental calm today."

The discussion about consent with giving is one I keep having to have with my own kids; reminding them that helping is only helping if somebody wants you to do it. I love that you brought attention to this also! ☕️

Thank you so much for this. Best crossover ever. Be Well, Brains!!!

My partner and I both have ADHD, but different presentations/types. What works for one of us doesn't work for the other, so it's challenging. Definitely getting your book!

My spouse and I have been married almost 40 years. I was diagnosed last month. There has been a lot of frustration, tears, deep, dark spirals, joy, laughter, playfulness and growing up together. There were some things he (we really) found very important but I was just not able to keep track of so he just took it over. There is always gas in the car now. I ran out of gas multiple times. There is a secret key somewhere, because although I have developed systems I still sometimes lock them in the old car or lock myself out of the house. So without infantilizing he helps me out. If I feel like he is nagging I tell him so. I just wanted to say this so people know that some help (as Jessica said, talk about it) is such a relief for both of you.

OMG...I honestly thought I was the only one who works backwards when trying to figure out my time. My mind was just blown when she said that!

Love you both! As well as Rick⭐️ I am so fortunate to have found you. I am learning at 64 how to use the tools and live a good life with ADHD and PTSD. Thanks for being out there for us. We’re listening❤

Jessica. You so nailed it with the stapler story. At my last two jobs in industry, as an Engineer, I sat my bosses down when I started both jobs and told them flat out how I work best and what I needed from them. They ignored the input. This was long before my diagnosis of ADHD. I told them and they still did not give me what I asked for!! And what I asked for was not that unusual. I asked for guidance. Redirection from them if I was drilling down into too much detail or taking too long. Regular check-ins (short check-ins). Etc. Regular contact with them. I think that they thought it was childish and too much hand holding. They didn't do what I asked and I struggled mightily. I got stuff done but it was ALWAYS a huge struggle. I think I would stand and cry (and I am not a person who cries easily), if anyone, even my wife, actually stopped and asked something like, "What can I do to make your life easier?" Or if they made a comment like, "I see you struggling to do the right thing." Especially in the realm of work and relationships. The two areas of the most amount of stress that I have. And I would be so relieved if people actually believe and understand the ADHD I have. Even my wife...and if she actually read and investigated this so I could get the right support, etc.

I'm only halfway through, but the story about Jessica's manager asking her what was going on made me cry. And realize some stuff about how I was raised is still impacting me now, even if it's not all that unusual a situation. Which is huge. I'd never connected those dots. Thanks for this, you guys. Seriously.

I've been listening to Jessica's videos for years but there was something about this conversation that I found really impactful. Thanks for a great one and love to all my fellow brains and all you awesome hearts that are here to try and figure out a plan 🥰🧡x