Brené Brown — Striving versus Self-Acceptance, Saving Marriages, and More | The Tim Ferriss Show

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Published 2020-02-06
Brought to you by Helix Sleep premium mattresses helixsleep.com/tim | Take 10 seconds and sign up for my free "5-Bullet Friday" newsletter: go.tim.blog/5-bullet-friday-yt/​ Each Friday, you’ll get a short email from me with five things I've discovered that week, sending you off to your weekend with fun and useful things to ponder and try. 🙌

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. Brené is also a visiting professor in management at The University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.

She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership. Brené hosts the Unlocking Us podcast, and her TED talk -- The Power of Vulnerability -- is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 45 million views. She is also the first researcher to have a filmed lecture on Netflix. The Call to Courage special debuted on the streaming service on April 19, 2019.

Please enjoy Brené's return to the show!

00:00 Start
01:31 Why women love Brené
06:10 On setting boundaries
08:09 Chasing the extraordinary vs. embracing the ordinary
11:43 Brené’s confronting photo session
14:58 Self-acceptance vs. complacency
29:22 Worries about losing my audience
32:05 Narcissism
34:36 Shedding our pathological armor for our superpower
44:17 The control self-awareness brings
46:22 Accelerated self-awareness
48:55 Marriage hacks
54:02 Family decision-making at Brené’s house
55:03 Brené’s approach to parenting
59:09 Take service jobs when you’re young
59:55 Five things Brené has changed her mind about
01:08:06 Five absurd, stupid things Brené does
01:13:09 Five things Brené is excited about
01:18:37 Parting thoughts.

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About Tim Ferriss:
Tim Ferriss is one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People” and an early-stage tech investor/advisor in Uber, Facebook, Twitter, Shopify, Duolingo, Alibaba, and 50+ other companies. He is also the author of five #1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellers: The 4-Hour Workweek, The 4-Hour Body, The 4-Hour Chef, Tools of Titans and Tribe of Mentors. The Observer and other media have named him “the Oprah of audio” due to the influence of his podcast, The Tim Ferriss Show, which has exceeded 400 million downloads and been selected for “Best of iTunes” three years running.

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All Comments (21)
  • @timferriss
    Take 10 seconds and sign up for my free "5-Bullet Friday" newsletter: go.tim.blog/5-bullet-friday-yt/ Each Friday, you’ll get a short email from me with five things I've discovered that week, sending you off to your weekend with fun and useful things to ponder and try. 🙌
  • @BellaLuna961
    She is so genuine. When I watch her or listen to her talk I feel like she is a friend talking to me. There is no arrogance.
  • Brené is such a gift. So inspiring = “We all grew up… armored up… and at some point that armor no longer serves us. How is not talking about this serving you? And now the weight of the armor is too heavy. It’s not protecting you. It’s keeping you from being seen and known by others. This is THE developmental milestone of midlife. It’s not a crisis. It’s a slow, brutal unraveling... But you can replace the armor with something: curiosity."
  • @bebeezra
    32:07 "Narcissim is the most shame based of all the personality disorders. It is not about self-love at all, it's about grandiosity driven by high performance and self hatred. Narcissim is the shame based fear of being ordinary." ~ Brene Brown
  • @betty39031
    I need Brene Brown in my life saying comfortingly "For sure" every time I come up with a concept
  • @MrsW0f0rd
    Today I learned that Brene Brown, in addition to being quite smart, very insightful, a great speaker and writer, is an absolute dork and goofball. I like her even more now.
  • @lisahostman9223
    I love Terry Real's definition of healthy self-esteem..."the ability to see yourself as a flawed individual and still hold yourself in high regard". Thank you both for your powerful work!!
  • @almapurcell7425
    I just cried now listening to the part about taking a photo. My husband does photography and I always feel so ugly when I have to take a photo... but I EARNED this! Every wrinkle and every stretchmark! I earned it! Realizing now- I haven’t accepted myself! Realising that I haven’t found a way to love the ordinariness of myself - that is why I cringe...
  • People come for the message, they stay for the personality. Brené delivers the message in a way that we can hear. And while we’re enjoying her company, with our heads exploding with AHA MOMENTS, getting enlightened while being entertained, she lives what she’s saying. So she brings it on home to our hearts and minds.
  • I have tears in my eyes listening to Brené, her championing of "ordinary" is utterly profound. Even though she's absolutely extraordinary. (Or if she's what ordinary looks like, I want to be ordinary too). Her authenticity, heart, depth, courage to just show up fully as she is, is humbling and inspiring. So grateful that a woman like Brené exists in the world. That her message resonates with so many. We are waking up. People long for authenticity. I know that I certainly do. She makes my world a better place. Thank you so much for this wonderful interview.
  • @KerryNeeds
    41:19 'It is so much easier to offload pain, than to feel pain' - wow. What an amazing conversation between these two beautiful minds.
  • @YaniqCampbell
    It was funny when he said he was worried about losing his audience just before 30 minutes because I was thinking the exact opposite, that this was his best podcast yet right at that moment
  • @edujyoung
    Honestly. Brené Brown is such a joy. She's the famous version of aunties you know. Or your mum's best friend (the funny one). She's someone Meryl Streep should play in some light-hearted comedy. Her heart and personality is so relatable 💕
  • @ChristieBailey
    Tim - because of you I'm 27 years old and I'm living my dreams, working from my laptop anywhere in the world, helping + coaching + teaching people and getting paid more per month than I ever could have dreamed of earning in a year in my corporate job. When I read the 4-hour workweek in college it just sparked this knowing / truth inside of me, I knew I was meant for that life and although it took me 5-6 years to finally start my business.. when I did, it took off fast. You writing that book was the catalyst for a completely different life for me that has been more fulfilling than I ever knew was possible. So I just wanted to say thank you for having the courage, and vulnerability ;) to write YOUR truth, in only the way that you can. Your work in this world matters and I love you.
  • @lanawebster2078
    I am in a curiosity phase and I appreciate what y'all talked about...I am recreating my life....74
  • Brene normalises the messiness and non-linearity of life. I feel that is affirming to everyone, as we all encountered struggles and challenges. Such a transformational human being. God bless. 🙌
  • @drewsson
    "Being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure." -Bob Marley
  • @waywardmind
    I wish Tim pushed the videos of his podcast interviews more. This is a great format. I, personally, like to see the people talking.
  • Brene is the most courageous woman I know. Through her work, she has not only helped me, but many others. I pass her work on to the people I meet as much as I can. Thank you Brene for being authentic and brave!❤❤
  • @janebarlow6328
    Love the way Brene Brown turns this interview of her into an interview of Tim Ferriss. To me that's why everyone falls in love with her. She expresses genuine concern and interest in everyone she speaks to...