what it feels like in your last moments (playlist)

Listen on Spotify - spoti.fi/3l0BFgw 💙

I was listening to this playlist while i was seriously planning to end my life. The tears in my eyes were making them useless, so i wasnt able to read the name of the playlist until the third song came and did something in my mind that I inmediatly felt in peace (like if i was already dead). I stopped crying, the only noise in the room was this song, and then i realized that i never meant to die. I just wanted to stop that suffocAting feeling of pain. And that song did that for me. Now I am here, three months later. No one knew about it until now, and i really feel thankful to have a second chance to do things right.

To anybody who's reading this, I pray that whatever is hurting you or whatever you are constantly stressing about gets better. May the dark thoughts, the overthinking, and the doubt exit your mind. May clarity replace confusion. May peace and calmness fill your life

I am the only that is not depressed and its only here bc likes the music and vibe?

I'm not depressed, I'm just tired of life and what it taught me

To everyone reading this ^^ It’s been hard for you, I know, and it makes me sad that you don’t see yourself in the way I see you. Sometimes they are things in life that cause us to lose ourselves, and the way you have are so unimaginable painful. I miss your smile, the way your eyes light up the whole room just by the sound of your laughter. I miss the way you accepted the way you look in the mirror without cursing yourself out about how ugly you look. I miss the way you didn’t think of yourself as a failure because everyone makes mistakes, we all have flaws and we all aren’t perfect. It’s painful to see that no one around you seems to see the pain through your eyes, but, stranger, I do, I see how heavy your heart is and how comforting the sadness for you might be, how afraid your heart is of happiness because it disappears in the end, right? You don’t know how much impact you have in this world and it’s sad to see that your demons fight against you and want to take over you. Because you do make a change, it’s something so simple and little that brightens up someone’s whole world, it can be a small smile from your lips, the way you look at things you’re passionate about, the way you make yourself eat even though it’s been hard for you lately, the way you zoom out and go in your own world, you brighten up my world by reading this, it means a lot to me that you’re here, existing, but I don’t want you to just exist, you deserve to feel alive. You deserve to get up in the morning and feel good about yourself. You deserve to feel something- to feel every damn second alive in this lifetime. It’s heartbreaking that you think you’re not capable of being loved because you are, I love you through all my words and I hope you let it happen in your heart. Love is scary, I know, maybe your heart had been broken once and since then you wanted to be rather numb than feel ever again, it hurts me how you punish yourself, does it not deserve love? Because YOU DO deserve love, please forgive yourself, it’s not your fault that the demons want to take over your beautiful heart. You’re not a bad person for distancing yourself from others, but you deserve someone to talk to, you deserve someone to listen. I am listening, you can tell me what’s wrong. It’s everything, isn’t it? There’s something pulling your heartstrings on the ground and no one seems to understand how misunderstood you feel, it’s heartbreaking to know that I am behind the screen and can’t give you a hug, that’s why I will give you a big warm virtual hug and send you lots of love :). You matter. You are worthy. You are loved. You deserve good things. You deserve someone to listen. You deserve to eat and drink. You deserve to feel good and alive. You deserve to smile. You deserve a hug. You deserve to be all the things you want to be because you deserve to have and feel good things happening to you and have a fulfilled life. I know I might not know you personally but I care about you so much, I write this because I want you to stay here with me, I want you to hold on a little longer because you matter so much to me, because I will not let you give up on yourself. I want you to see that you should not give up on yourself because you DESERVE GOOD THINGS. I want you to look back on the time when you were a kid, you didn’t give up when you tried to swim for the first time, you didn’t give up when you tried to walk for the first time and fell, you never gave up on yourself, you always kept on pushing forwards, so why can’t you now? I know it’s tiring, you’re mentally tired, but don't your younger self deserve good things? look back at your eyes that used to be full of hope, look back on those dreams. Don’t let yourself fall, you deserve better. We will both fight, I will fight for you. I won’t let those demons get to you. You can hold on to me, I won’t let you down :). Whenever you feel lonely, then look at the sky, I always look at it and think about you. Yes, you, because it makes me happy that there’s someone looking right back, maybe we can’t see each other but I can feel your presence here with me and that’s enough for me because I am glad your heart is beating and you’re still fighting. You’re so much stronger thank you think, you didn’t leave your spot on this earth even if you wanted to, you belong here, even though it doesn’t feel like it when you don’t feel like belonging then build your own home here, put all your love in it and dreams. Think of you as a star when you feel alone, you shine because your heart is good, no matter what mistake you made, no matter about the past you had, you’re one of the stars that shine bright in the universe because you’re heart is beautiful, that’s why the demons in your mind want to have it. As one of the stars you see other stars, maybe they have felt the same way as you do at some point in their life, but they lighten up the universe with each other’s presence. You’re a star for me, maybe you don’t see it yourself but I can see it, you’re beautiful from inside and out, your body is beautiful the way it is. You make me happy by reading this, you make me feel something by your presence, and when you can make me feel that way then you also make other people feel that way about you too. I hope you stay for yourself and don’t let your story get written by others but by yourself, it’s your story, not theirs. As you can see, I say a lot of “I hope” because I have hope for you even if you don’t have it for yourself, I see hope in you even though you might want to give up. That’s why I hope you won’t see the world in darkness and will see it colorful again, I hope I will give you a glimpse of hope and make the world you see a bit colorful for today. My favorite color is yellow, and I hope the next time you see the color yellow you will think about my words. If someone left you then don’t blame yourself, don’t think you weren’t enough, don’t lower yourself for someone who couldn’t see the awesomeness in you. If you lost someone I am so sorry for your loss, they want you happy, I hope you don’t feel guilty or regret because you were there, you spend enough time with them, they want you to be happy. They are in a good and safe place now. If someone broke your heart then I am so sorry that they couldn’t see the way you look so beautiful because of the heart you have. Anyone who gets to be with you doesn’t know how fucking lucky he/ she/ they are :). If you aren’t accepted at home or in general then I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone/ something you shouldn’t be ashamed of, I accept you and support you, I accept you as a human being no matter what race, religion, nationality, skin color, or sexuality you have. You’re safe here with me :). You’re not useless, you’re not a burden to anyone. You’re not a problem, you’re human and your feelings are valid. You’re not being dramatic. Please don’t starve yourself, you deserve food and to drink, I know it’s hard. It hurts to see that you’re in so much pain :( you deserve so much man, don’t let your emotions control you. Don’t let them get the best of you. I am sorry no one is noticing, I wish /hope I could take your pain away for today or even for a moment while you’re reading this. If no one told you, I am so proud of you, you’re reading this and it’s enough for me to be proud of you because you’re here and that’s all that matters to me. If it’s the night for you, go to sleep, I know it’s hard to fall asleep right now but you deserve a good sleep. If you have nightmares, please, don’t let them fight you. If it’s the day for you, don’t start it with such sad music, I know it’s impossible to have a good day with such a mindset but take baby steps, start by drinking two cups of water every day in the morning, and so on. You will start building little healthy habits. If it’s the evening for you, you’re probably overwhelmed and stressed, I want you to know it’s okay to feel the way you feel. You don’t need to be scared, of course, you’re overwhelmed or stressed, I mean who wouldn’t? But it’s important to know that when you feel that way you should do a little self-care, such as taking a bath for example? You deserve to feel at ease and relaxed. And if you are somewhere in between I hope you know that you’re so strong for breathing despite the pain, I know you will make it :) I believe in you. All I want for you is to stay here, I really mean all my words, even if there is a lot of unsaid things I want to tell u and my text is getting longer and longer, I want you here. I hope one day your smile will become a genuine one where you don’t need to fake it anymore because I can’t say this enough, you deserve a good smile and to feel alive. You’re worth more than every fucking cent in this world. You can let go for today, I got you, you can cry your heart out as much as you want, but don’t let it tear you down and let your emotions control you by giving up. Crying is not a weakness. If you still feel alone I dedicate you to a song as your friend. In case no one told you and you’re unsure yourself, you’re a good person and I am so happy you’re here. I hope this is enough to stay today, tomorrow will be a new day, a new start, let go now. Enough with beating yourself up for today, okay? Life for those who couldn’t smile for those who forgot what a genuine smile is, love like there’s no other, hug-like it's your last one. If you read all of it, until tomorrow my friend :) May god bless your beautiful soul. /ᐢ⑅ᐢ\ ♡ ₊˚ You are good enough! ꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ ♡‧₊˚ ♡ You are creative! ./づ~ :¨·.·¨: ₊˚. You are beautiful! `·..·‘ ₊˚ ♡You are a blessing from god!

We grew up. Remember when we wanted to be the age we are now? And now we want to be the age we were. Oh how I wish I could go back. Back to the happy life we had. Before it got rough. So I pray. That whoever is reading this will keep on going. Keep trying your best. I know it gets so hard sometimes. But guess what. You're a strong,brave, confident person (And more). And I want you to never forget that. You got this. Show the world your beautiful smile And laugh. Show the world your beauty. You got this.

100 reasons to stay alive: 1. to make your parents proud 2. to conquer your fears 3. to see your family again 4. to see your favourite artist live 5. to listen to music again 6. to experience a new culture 7. to make new friends 8. to inspire 9. to have your own children 10. to adopt your own pet 11. to make yourself proud 12. to meet your idols 13. to laugh until you cry 14. to feel tears of happiness 15. to eat your favourite food 16. to see your siblings grow 17. to pass school 18. to get tattoo 19. to smile until your cheeks hurt 20. to meet your internet friends 21. to find someone who loves you like you deserve 22. to eat ice cream on a hot day 23. to drink hot chocolate on a cold day 24. to see untouched snow in the morning 25. to see a sunset that sets the sky on fire 26. to see stars light up the sky 27. to read a book that changes your life 28. to see the flowers in the spring 29. to see the leaves change from green to brown 30. to travel abroad 31. to learn a new language 32. to learn to draw 33. to tell others your story in the hopes of helping them 34. Puppy kisses. 35. Baby kisses (the open mouthed kind when they smack their lips on your cheek). 36. Swear words and the release you feel when you say them. 37. Trampolines. 38. Ice cream. 39. Stargazing. 40. Cloud watching. 41. Taking a shower and then sleeping in clean sheets. 42. Receiving thoughtful gifts. 43. “I saw this and thought of you." 44. The feeling you get when someone you love says, “I love you." 45. The relief you feel after crying. 46. Sunshine. 47. The feeling you get when someone is listening to you/giving you their full attention. 48. Your future wedding. 49. Your favorite candy bar. 50. New clothes. 51. Witty puns. 52. Really good bread. 53. Holding your child in your arms for the first time. 54. Completing a milestone (aka going to college, graduating college, getting married, getting your dream job.) 55. The kind of dreams where you wake up and can’t stop smiling. 56. The smell before and after it rains 57. The sound of rain against a rooftop. 58. The feeling you get when you’re dancing. 59. The person (or people) that mean the most to you. Stay alive for them. 60. Trying out new recipes. 61. The feeling you get when your favorite song comes on the radio. 62. The rush you get when you step onto a stage. 63. You have to share your voice and talents and knowledge with the world because they are so valuable. 64.Breakfast in bed. 65. Getting a middle seat in the movie theater. 66. Breakfast for dinner (because it’s so much better at night than in the morning). 67. Pray (if you are religious) 68. Forgiveness. 69. Water balloon fights. 70. New books by your favorite authors. 71. Fireflies. 72. Birthdays. 73. Realizing that someone loves you. 74. Spending the day with someone you adore 75. Finding a happy place. 76. Meeting internet friends irl. 77. Laughing so hard that you cry. 78. Your pet would miss you. Don’t abandon them. 79. Rewatching your favourite childhood movies. 80. Warm showers. 81. Reading a life-changing book. 82. Getting lost in a library. 83. Inspiring someone. 84. Happy, cozy holidays. 85. Being wrapped up in a warm bed. 86. Someone’s skin against yours. 87. Holding hands. 88. The kind of hugs when you can feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders. The kind of hug where your breath syncs with the other person’s, and you feel like the only two people in the world. 89. Singing off key with your best friends. 90. Road trips. 91. Spontaneous adventures. 92. The feeling of sand beneath your toes. 93. The feeling when the first ocean wave rolls up and envelops your toes and ankles and knees. 94. Thunderstorms. 95. Your first (or hundredth) trip to Disneyland. 96. The taste of your favorite food. 97. The child-like feeling you get on Christmas morning. 98. The day when everything finally goes your way. 99. Compliments and praise. 100. to look on this moment in 10 years time and realise you did it. P. S. You're perfect and can make it all

Hey you, wonderful stranger reading this. We may be ships passing in the night, but even for this brief moment, I want you to hear this: you are incredible. Don't you ever forget it. Hold tight to that love for yourself, it's your greatest treasure. The world needs your shine, your unique light. You bring something beautiful to it, and to the people you touch (even if you don't always see it). So chase your dreams, hold your head high, and remember – someone, somewhere, is cheering you on. This is your journey, make it magnificent!

Me writing my book as I listen to this playlist realizing this fights the scenes I'm writing. It's rather unsettling and comforting that so many people relate to this and I am not the only one.

When i was young, my family and friends would tell me how annoying i was, and i would get this sense that they didn't want me around. As i grew up, i began to feel really conscious of what people would think of me, and i would try to be someone my friends would like. Now that im older, i find it really difficult to make new friends and connect with people, since i wouldn't want them to see that side of me. There are times when i feel really alone, times i absolutely just want to give up. I tell myself that it's a stupid way of thinking/ feeling, but i don't know how to stop. Im scared that people won't want to be around me if i go back to how i was before.

I don't know anymore... I'm so behind in life. I have no goals no dreams. Just drifting alone on the waves of life. Nothing that gives me joy. I am afraid of making choices, and I am controlled by something... Some force I can't see. Even when no one is around. It controls me and anxiety hurts. I am the person in high school no one can really connect with as I have nothing to really talk about or people might not understand. I stand among a sea of people who have these connections and can share these fun stories or their hobbies. But me? I don't know what to look forward to. I am called useless, and worthless. I know they are somewhat right as I do nothing productive. Only play videogames all day... I'm so lost in my own mind. No one that understands me.

"Despite everything, it's still you."

When my grandparents died my mother didn't inform me what so ever. The day we would go on vacation my mother dropped on me that my grandfather had died and that we were now going to the funeral. On the same day as the vacation. Not even a year went by and out of pure chance I visited my grandmother spontaneously because I had the energy to do so. That day I got to hear she was planned to get euthanized in two days because the cancer was spreading and there was no way to save her. I never knew about it, not one message. usually when visiting my grandparents it is usually because of a family reunion of some sorts, so I never really got the chance to tell them what was truly on my mind. and in those final moments with my grandma I told her I loved her and that I would miss her dearly, and gave her a hug. Sometimes they still come back in my dreams, sadly as nightmares, where they keep dying in front of me, and coming back to life like nothing is wrong. The only way to stop it is to visit their graves to talk to them again.

These mixes keep me going every night. so calming, reassuring even. Thank you, you are a big part of why i'm still here

These kinda of vids used to be so comforting because everyone understood each other. Now that I am in a better place in my life I have learned to enjoy the music, I find comfort in the melody and it brings me happiness that I used to listen to these because I was living in the past, but now I am listening because I am grateful for the past and for how it has brought me to where I am now.

This is music that calms my soul. I am reminded of all the good things my friends have said and I hear their words echoed in the mists.

Listening to this while doing stats homework is actually helping me concentrate more, Thanks!

Anyone else feel like they’ve been crawling through hell their whole life? The edge always so tempting. I hope one day I find the courage to jump. I mean it’s like I’m in a skyscraper with infinite floors thinking that this will be the last one I break through only to find out that was just another ceiling. Either hell or purgatory. Maybe death is when you finally go to heaven?

🥲HI!!! llevamos dos horas escuchando tu cancion en el patio.