Therapist Breaks Down Love is Blind 3 - Matt & Colleen Top Moments - Abusive?

Loving your comments! Let me clarify that I agree with you all about the instances of verbal and emotional abuse specifically through intimidation and withdrawal which I discuss. This video focuses on the warning signs for us to pay attention to in our own dating lives and relationships. When I refer to “DV,” I’m referring to the speculations most of us have heard about physical violence which I of course cannot confirm. I’m sorry for not making that clearer!

Something that was a BIG red flag for me was the fact that Matt only accepted the truth about the pool incident when he heard it from Cole, who said basically the same thing Colleen did. He listened to the guy who was involved in the situation and not to his fiancé

The show needs to add premarital counseling into the four weeks before the couples’ wedding days

You know, I actually think Cole and Colleen would have made a LOT more sense. I know Cole wanted something deeper, but I think Colleen would have gotten there and they are both more easy going, fun loving people. I think they would have made a great couple.

Matt is a bundle of insecurities and red flags wrapped up in a cross necklace. He gave me bad vibes all over the place.

i was SO hoping you would talk more about the aquarium scene. The way he kept saying “don’t play games colleen, say it, say it, say it” and the anger in his eyes was honestly terrifying and i would’ve loved some more analysis of that

Colleen was committed to not leaving alone because she got rejected twice in the pods & was called out for being surface level. She definitely settled. Matt is really aggressive & it’s worrisome.

I found it particularly disturbing how terrified Colleen looked at the reunion. Matt was towering over her which I perceive as a demonstration of his power. I don’t really believe they have worked out the issues in their power dynamic yet

But didn’t you notice that she literally looked terrified at the reunion. Look at her face. It speaks volumes!!

It stuck out to me that at the reunion when Nick and Vanessa did their segue to address the Pool Incident, Colleen looked scared. It is definitely something that is still affecting that couple even though nothing happened and the reunion is a YEAR later. I don't think anyone would be surprised if she did step forward in the future and say she was abused in this relationship. I hope they are both in therapy.

Matt gives me the creeps. At the reunion Colleen did look nervous and frightened. And does Matt behave like he does because his partner left him or was he left because he acted like this for a long time?

I’d like to know if you noticed Colleen’s oddly quiet persona at the reunion. She seemed tired and definitely not present. As Matt was raving about her, she seemed detached and her facial expression was weak. We know Colleen to be very bubbly and chatty throughout the szn, so that was concerning to me and many others.

Something I picked up on when Matt and Colleen were talking about how they "resolved" the issues of that night when Matt had his first blow up was that Matt was primarily the one speaking and he kept saying that "we have to work on our communication." Who's "we"? 'Cause last time I checked, Colleen was being completely honest and was working with Matt and even walked away when it was getting too much for her while Matt was talking over her, following her when she clearly was separating herself, yelling, talking to the producer, threatening to leave, and basically physically intimidating her to a degree. Very interesting how he was like "we" instead of "I."

The look in his eyes and the laughing anger thing he has multiple times was the exact same look and laugh my ex had right before he moved from the verbal abuse to the physical abuse. He scares the shit out of me and I already feel sorry for Colleen. I’m not therapist but there’s some looks you just know.

Coleen just wanted to be “picked”.

A red flag for me was when Matt’s mom questioned whether Matt would even blindside Colleen… she knows something especially in terms of his behavior

Please break down Nancy and Bartise! So curious on your thoughts on their relationship!

I've been in abusive relationship followed by an abusive marriage/divorce. (I'm now healed and with a loving, healthy partner) Matt gives me major Abuser vibes. There's a lot of covert signs. I was so hoping Colleen would say no at the wedding. I really fear for what her future looks like with him.

I have to admit - while I completely understand what you're saying about not speculating about abuse without proof - I got abuse vibes from Matt hard enough to throw me into temporary flashbacks from my own abuse, (at the hands of my parents and then ex-husband). Let me start out by saying, Matt and Colleen were another couple that swapped, for me. I didn't care for her originally; she came off as shallow, admitting that she didn't want to "go deep," and mentioning the fact that "guys always go for the ballerina" over and over and OVER. I felt like she settled for him because everyone else turned her down. He started out as my favorite of the guys, in the pods. And then his anger and his running, and how brutally honest his friends were...seeing Colleen shrink and beg made me a little sick to my stomach. His anger scared me, and I found myself hoping she would let him go and he would leave...for her sake. But it was the reunion that sealed that feeling for me. Colleen rarely smiled; she looked miserable at times (understandably, when she was watching the pool party replay), and Matt was absolutely cold, saying things were great (and she'd nod along in agreement), but it felt...fake and forced. If you look at her eyes, there are times she actually looks terrified. For someone who was so "bubbly" in the pods...she was not that woman in the reunion. She was withdrawn, quiet, only spoke when spoken to, or to affirm what he said. She didn't even throw in with the other women to show support for those "scorned" (like everyone else was standing up for Zanab). She seemed isolated all the way across the room, alone, cut off from the group; a shell of the shallow, bubbly, but slightly self-centered girl in the pods (and the one who was so proud of herself for standing up to him during the show saying "you could lose me"). It actually made my blood run cold. You are absolutely right, I could be wrong. I could very well be misreading things, or projecting. But I recognized what I thought I was seeing, because I was that withdrawn, terrified, isolated girl.

The way that the love is blind team handled Matt (or lack thereof) pissed me off! Nick & Vanessa were asking the wrong things!! They need real therapist on this show. I hope she’s really okay. I’m glad they don’t live together cuz whew.