Jordan Peterson ~ Why Does Betrayal Hurt So Much?

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

“the saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies” -unknown

It hurts really bad, I feel like I have died twice in one life time.

Betrayal invalidates the healthiest and most loving part of being wholesome and human. It has contempt for trust and ridicules courage. It desecrates everything wholesome and honest that we are taught as children to believe in… including the intimate connection of faith in self and in humanity. Betrayers will always abuse their power, whilst hiding behind a wall of evil as cowards, living in fear of being exposed and blamed for their treachery.

I think betrayal corrupts the victim

No matter how hard you try to rationalize your feelings, nothing can save you from hurt... when it hurts... it hurts.

He is absolutely right. The worst is that you not only lose the now and the tomorrow, you lose the yesterday aswell. And the worst is you do not even know how far the false yesterday goes. Since when was what you had with the other person not anymore what you thought it was? Since 6 months? a year? 3 years? 10?! Was it ever what you thought it was?!

Spot on. Before I was betrayed I always trusted my intuition. But after being blind sided by betrayal I don’t have the same trust in it, and it really hurts. I never saw it coming, my intuition was telling me to trust the person. I still struggle with trusting my intuition and instincts again a year later

Narcissists.... in ANY relationships. Once you see them, once you see most of them, you are surprised how could we even survived till now.

Betrayal hurts because you trusted too much and the worst thing you can do is get back with someone that hurt you, never get back with your ex, people come back because they miss you and not because they changed. You can never find happiness in the same place you lost it. When they no longer miss you, they will leave u again and that's betrayal for the second time. Betrayers don't really change be careful

Betrayal is brutal. Esp for those caught unaware, they get ambushed. The one who is supposed to have your back is the one who stuck a knife in it. JP gets it and the description of what happens physically to the brain is very reasssuring; you're not weak for falling apart, your brain is scattered and it takes much time for the pieces to settle.

Others betraying your trust by abandoning you for no reason at all hurts a lot. They didn't understand that all that was needed was to be listened to for one single day-- not forever.

Betrayal hurts so much because of the humiliation and the shame.

The thing with betrayal is that it destroys the past (the moments toghether were a lie) and the future (no certainty) and the present seems pointless because you can’t trust yourself (I chose you to be close to me)

betrayal hurts coz you knew you not obligated to trust anyone and you did it anyway coz they told you to trust them. basically you blaming yourself for making mistake trusting someone while you knew you were not obligated. thats why action counts not words. i agree its how you see the world and transfer present to future.

Subject of the tittle starts at 5:37

Being your own best friend is the best thing ever. It doesn’t mean you will feel all the happiness in the world, but you will always be safe with the person who’s actions you can guide to never hurt you. You can always fall back into yourself and ultimately to God :)

You don't love someone, you love whom you perceive they are, you love what they offer, you love the person you can be with that person. You are not hurt by the betrayal, you are hurt by your interpretation of it, you are hurt because the image you loved is hurt. That image contained who you thought you had become with this person. But don't take it personal. They never knew you 100% either. They did it for themselves, they didn't think "oh it feels so good to hurt my partner." It has nothing to do with you. They just revealed a part of themselves you never knew, a part of themselves they probably didn't know either. They shattered the sense of who they thought they were (or wanted to be) as well. My ex now thinks she is too flawed to sustain a long term relationship and become happy, she doesn't trust the level of love she is capable of feeling, she doesn't trust her impulses. I, on the other hand, am working to grow to be the best version of myself, I'm re-defining myself and the world around me. In a year, I'll be probably leagues ahead of her, I don't even define her in terms of a single mistake she made, after all the good things she did for 7 years. In fact, had she shown a spark of courage to face her own feelings, a tiny bit of willingless to control them and her actions as a strong and responsible individual, I would have considered us equals and forgiven her, but the last time we spoke her mind was too messy to make sense of it and grow positively out of that experience, so I assume she'll regress for a while. I'm not even bitter, I wish the best for her. The sooner a betrayal happens the better.

The word I use to describe my life after betrayal is “scattered.”

It has damaged my brain indeed all the boatloads of betrayal I've endured