Baby Reindeer: Trauma Bonding defined. Therapist review. #babyreindeer #netflix
Published 2024-04-22
00:00 Intro/First Impressions
00:17 Richard Gadd explains Baby Reindeer
00:52 Victims/Perpetrators
01:27 Donny interview/admits mistakes
02:12 What is trauma bonding?
02:32 Review of Episode 1-3
03:25 Martha Stalks Donny
03:50 Donny's history of trauma from Darrien
04:30 Donny's trauma response activated
05:12 Trauma Bonding between Donny and Martha
05:50 Donny has empathy for Martha
Netflix's new series "Baby Reindeer" captures the attention of audiences with its intriguing premise and complex characters. "Baby Reindeer" begins by introducing us to the main character, Richard, whose life becomes complicated and eventually turned upside down by a seemingly harmless encounter. The series is based on a critically acclaimed one-man stage show by Richard Gadd, which shares the same title, and brings to life the same intense emotional and psychological themes.
"Baby Reindeer" thrives on its ability to create a suspenseful atmosphere that holds viewers' attention from the first episode. The series explores the themes of obsession, privacy, and the impact of past trauma. As the show progresses, "Baby Reindeer" delves deeper into Richard's psyche, providing a rich narrative that explores the boundary between compassion and compulsion.
The plot of "Baby Reindeer" is driven by Richard's encounter with Martha, a customer at the bar where he works. What begins as a simple act of kindness—Richard providing Martha a glass of water—quickly spirals into a relentless campaign of stalking. "Baby Reindeer" portrays Martha's obsession with Richard in a way that is both disturbing and thought-provoking, challenging the viewers to reflect on the nature of relationships and the need for boundaries.
Richard's struggle in "Baby Reindeer" is portrayed with a raw intensity. His attempts to manage Martha's increasing invasions into his life are depicted with a realism that many can relate to in the age of digital privacy concerns. "Baby Reindeer" uses this personal story to touch on broader societal issues, making the series not just entertaining but also significant.
The series benefits greatly from its casting. The actors bring depth to their roles, making "Baby Reindeer" a character-driven drama that relies on strong performances to convey its complex themes. The tension between Richard and Martha is palpable, making each episode more compelling than the last.
Directorially, "Baby Reindeer" showcases a minimalist style that focuses on the actors' performances and the script's sharp dialogue. This choice ensures that the psychological depth of the narrative is not lost but rather highlighted. Each scene in "Baby Reindeer" is meticulously crafted, from the lighting and camera angles to the set design, all contributing to the claustrophobic feeling that mirrors Richard's psychological state.
The writing in "Baby Reindeer" is another high point, with dialogue that resonates with authenticity and emotion. The script does an excellent job of developing the characters gradually, revealing their complexities layer by layer. "Baby Reindeer" doesn't rush its storytelling, which allows the tension to build naturally and the characters' motivations to be fully explored.
As "Baby Reindeer" progresses, the stakes become higher, and the impact of Martha's obsession grows more severe. This escalation is handled with a careful balance of drama and realism, preventing the series from veering into melodrama. The suspense is maintained throughout, making "Baby Reindeer" a binge-worthy series.
Aside from the main narrative, "Baby Reindeer" also includes subplots that enrich the world of the series. These stories add layers to the main narrative and provide a break from the intense main storyline, while still contributing to the overall themes of the show. They ensure that "Baby Reindeer" maintains its pace and engagement without overwhelming the viewer.
In conclusion, "Baby Reindeer" is a compelling addition to Netflix's lineup. It combines excellent writing, strong performances, and a gripping plot to create a series that is both entertaining and thought-provoking. The show's exploration of serious themes like obsession and privacy is both timely and timeless, resonating with contemporary audiences while providing enough depth for substantial discussion. "Baby Reindeer" is a must-watch for those who appreciate psychological dramas that challenge as much as they entertain. #babyreindeer #netflix
All Comments (21)
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Let me know your thoughts once you watch Baby Reindeer.
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Thank you for this! I was trauma bonded to my abuser and it was the most confusing time of my life. I didn't understand my own behaviour
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This story one of the perfect example of Karpman’s Drama Triangle. While trying to rescue someone, actually you want to rescue yourself. And the victim person you want to rescue suddenly can be the persecutor and next thing you cand find yourself as a victim. So this cycle repeat itself again and again. We can clearly see the switching roles for each person in this series. In addition to that, Teri is one of the healthiest character. Because Teri is powerful, Donny can’t find his main motivation in this relationship. Usually she doesn’t need him, she is strong. Except, when she was attacked by Martha, she needed to be protected. Donny felt functional himself for the first time and he found a place in this relation/her house. Donny always needs victims. He can be the only rescuer, can’t be the someone else.
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With all the attention this show got I hope Richard is healing from his trauma instead of living it all over again.
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The character who frustrates me most is Teri. She's a LICENSED THERAPIST, yet she can't figure out that her boyfriend is spiralling downward due to trauma bonding/PTSD issues? Martha is INSIDE DONNIE'S HEAD and controlling him. The guy is afraid to leave the house or look out a window.Yet Teri puts the blame on Donny, even accusing him of 'enjoying' it. Her license should be confiscated and shredded into pieces. Naturally, Donnie is going to continue listening to Martha's messages and obsessing over her after she's put away, because locking up the abuser does NOT instantly put an end to the victim's learned patterns of abuse.. It's the same reason so many vets struggle to readjust to life after returning home and end up killing themselves--their brains are still fighting in the warzone. This series not only did an incredibly realistic job depicting mental/psychological abuse, it also showed how society severely minimizes and undervalues Male trauma. Poor Donnie had neither the tools or the support to handle his crises. Once of the moments which brought a tear to my eye was when Keeley visited Donnie at the end and asked him to move back in with her mother. Keeley acknowledged Donnie's traumatic experiences and how awful life must have been for him. FINALLY,, SOMEBODY took the time to say they understood, and offer compassion and support without judgment or criticism. For an abuse survivor, that acknowledgment means the world.
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When I was watching this, I was thinking that it was possibly a trauma bond relationship. I'm glad you did a video on this.
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3:30 my boyfriend also was like why doesnt he do more? And me as a trauma survivor too, I told him that part of him also still might not think it's gotten bad enough, cause after significant trauma, you always think it could be a lot worse
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This was brilliant acting, top notch writing. Everything was good, I think it’s touched people because we have all been at weak points in life where we’ve gone down the wrong path and said or done the wrong thing, other peoples madness can destroy us if we don’t use our intuition
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It helped me understand my responses and the complexity of all of my own trauma and abuse so much more.
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This is helping me to understand that I keep taking my ex back because my damaged childhood predisposes me to liking/wanting the drama.
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It's incredibly admirable how Richard Gadd bravely shared his personal experiences, even those that might make him vulnerable to prejudice. His courage in opening up not only helps him in his healing journey but also extends a supportive hand to others who may be going through similar struggles.
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I had to stop watching the show as I was triggered by the SA. Also I was so confused and felt a bit sick! Thanks for this video ❤
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Amazing analysis! Thank you for sharing.
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Can you explain a little bit more on why he went back to Darriens house in the later episode? As someone who relates to lots of Donny's experiences and behaviours, I was hoping he would go back and give him and earful, ask him why he did what he did, or even just talk to him for 5 minutes about nothing to see how it would make him feel. I did not expect him to fall into the same trap again. Might it have something to do with the fact that he's grown so used to abuse that now that Martha's gone, he feels empty and wants a replacement? Maybe he doesn't want to let Darrien win? Any thoughts on this?
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Thank you for this video, you have just opened my eyes as to why i act a certain way, and continuously put myself in the wrong situations.
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I stayed up watching this show until 1am, and then had to call into work the next day because I didn't expect my brain to begin racing for hours with processing my own past experiences with trauma bonding. I watched the entire series finding it all very relatable in nuanced ways that I've never really talked about with anyone, because it's all very hard to understand with all the unusual dynamic interplays that are active and all the crazy psychological effects they end up having on you.
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I couldn't believe it when after the police first warned Martha and she went no contact, Donny not only worried about her but started fantasizing about her, while neglecting his relationship with Teri. Maybe his self esteem was so low at this point and he was so confused regarding his sexuality, Martha was the only way out. She adored him and at the same time he felt superior to her so she seemed like a "safe" person, while Teri was an equal and requiring him to work through his trauma and invest in the relationship. Two of my friends were abused by older men when they were very young and they both tend to date guys that "need fixing" and have all kinds of problems. There could be something similar going on here I think.
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Yes, trauma. I also believe he has some trauma involving early years. For someone abused and used to be abused by some family member, the tendency is to believe that you are responsible for others emotion and that if you speak out you will be shamed and people won't hear you or won't believe in you...he has this tendency of not speaking out for himself and it's really frustrating. His self steam was really bad since before the r pe as well. In the 6th episode when he speaks to public about his traumas, he also says that he wanted to be famous to not be judged by people. So afraid to be judged since before all...
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Borderline personality disorder person does break the person they decide is "theirs". I was once the "Terri" to a nightmare demoness from hell. Broken engagement, and in the end I left completely. He thought he could deal with it kindly. I just saw a future of chaos.
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I had a "Martha" on a less severe level. We were definitely trauma bonded, and no one could understand it. It felt like an addiction I wanted to be rid of but couldn't, much to the dismay of those around me. I was in severe need of validation which she readily provided, and she used my empathy against me to allow her behavior to continue. It was very hard to see what was really happening since she was "so nice" to me. But her long list of discarded "friends" and therapists told me I wasn't the only one having issues with her. Eventually I was able to call her out, at which point she blocked me only to try to reconnect with me later. But I politely declined. I can only imagine that she is onto the next victim by now. I do feel empathy for her still, and I tried for months to understand why she was the way she was. This series was very illuminating to me.
