A major reason you feel UNSEEN and SHAMED in a narcissistic relationship

They ask you "why" but they don't want to know the true reason. They just blame you. 😖

Most people don't understand there are some truly evil people

What I disliked hearing from people about being abused is " I don't like it when people say bad things about other people." Meaning I should not say anything about being abused or my abuser.😢😢

I used to believe that anyone could change...I don't believe that anymore.

My whole life people have asked me what I did to my father because of how he treats me. I say "nothing," but no one believes me. It's pretty sick and twisted when the abuser gets the benefit of the doubt, and the scapegoat gets scapegoated further.

when I was younger I called one of my parents out to a family member and I was told on to both parents. I was NOT believed and suffered hell ever since. people would rather keep and live by the status quo. they want to stay comfortable even at someone else’s expense.

It's easy to blame the victim.... They don't want to hear you, Because then they will have to do something about it.... And they don't .... give a dam..... Thank you Dr Ramani.....

"behind closed doors" the narc abused. I won't qualify why. I stay away from most people. I stay in my lane. I get it, now. I was blamed for my own abuse.

“Burning and drowning so called witches, that we now know were just outspoken women who were tired of being abused”—-Love you Dr. Ramani for speaking truth

They're like the main character in their movie..and we're like just specs of dust for them.

"Why didn't you lock the door? This is your fault." Bingo!!! It is so easy to blame the victim! I got blamed when my ex cheated on me--"Why didn't you see the signs? Why did you trust him?" "Why (this)? Why (that)"? I was supposedly engaged to him and we are supposed to trust the person we are engaged/married to. I did it right. He is the perp here, not me. I did right to trust him. He did wrong by betraying that trust. Put the blame on the one who is committing the "crimes".

Society has the same attitude towards people with chronic illness and disabilities. They'd rather believe that you did something to deserve it than acknowledge that bad things can happen to good people.

It’s really A Lot to take in. And unfortunately most of the times you’re exhausted, weak and drained. Alone & left out in the cold.

My father started to molest me when I was 4. I loved my father. I thought "I will whisper it to my mother and she will make it stop." This was in 1957. Aunt, Uncle, mother, family doctor said "Don't tell lies like that, Mary Ellen." It took 50 years for one of them (my mother) to acknowledge it but only when I confronted her and even then with denial of her own part in the conspiracy. I suffered a lifetime of effects and they all watched and said nothing. My life was the sacrificial lamb that allowed them to live in their fantasy world.

"It´s not your job to keep other´s fairy tales alive". This is so right Dr. Ramani! You have spoken for many of us!

The reason healthy communication doesn’t work with narcissistic relationships is because It’s not a real relationship. It’s an enemy posing as a relationship with the desire to control you, manipulate you play their sadistic game they think they have the right to play.

"Why?" Is like a auto-redirect back to non-acceptance and self blame and others blaming the person in relation to the narcissist. It's a reinforcement of suffering.

Definitely real!….this tendency for people to blame rather than empathize/understand helps abusive people to continue what they’re doing….and the targets to feel shame in addition to what they went through at the hands of the abusers.😢

Absolutely true, especially in the church community. Had I not had copies of his emails I wld have remained unbelieved. Narcissists are evil. God and his mercy delivered me. Took yrs to get over this trauma.

Being raised by 2 malignant narcissists, (each were outed by 2 different psychiatrists) I want to say out loud that we, who are raised by these disordered people are quite literally the canaries in the coal mines. Too many times we see things that others do not. And we have knowledge that it seems others want to deny. The legions of people who inadvertently become flying monkeys to malignant narcissists, only compound and multiply the abuse. I have NEVER understood why so many blame the victim. The only thing I have come to realise is, these others are chickens. They don't really care and it's easy for them to further their delusion. Its easier to side with bully than to defend/support a victim. I've also noticed that these 'others' are the first to demand help if abuse comes after them.