Two Things You Can Do To Stop Ruminating
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Published 2019-10-16
Rumination is not a diagnosis all to itself, we see it in depression and anxiety. Rumination causes people to get stuck in their thoughts and even feel stuck in the negativity of their condition. Typical negative depressive ruminations may be things like: why do I always get the short end of the stick? Why can’t I be happy like everyone else?
Anxious ruminations tend to be worrying about things that happened in the past like analyzing past situations and worrying about what kind of impression you left, or what did that person mean by that. At the time she said what she did, you didn’t think that much of it, but when you get to the end of the day and start ruminating over the interaction, what the person said takes on a completely different meaning. And it’s usually a negative meaning.
In both scenarios, it’s repetitive, unhelpful, negative thinking. This is different from deconstructing a past situation so that you can process it and problem solve. In that case, analyzing the past is constructive and you’re not stuck only thinking about the negative aspects of the situation.
Why does this happen?
It’s thought to be related to overactivation of the default mode network in your brain. I talked about this in a video I did on mindfulness and depression. The gist of it is the default mode network is the area of the brain that control stimulus-independent thought. Said another way, the area of your brain that controls what you’re thinking about when you’re not actively focused on something. It’s like background thought. Studies have shown that people are more unhappy when they spend a lot of time with their minds wandering. Functional MRI scans looking at brain activity show that the default mode network in your brain is more activated when you are ruminating.
What do you do about this?
Two things. One is to spend more time being mindful. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in your current circumstance without judgment. If you bring your attention to what you’re currently doing and how it is affecting all five of your senses, you now have dependent thought because you’re actively paying attention to something. Your default mode network where you spend time ruminating is turned off. For more on mindfulness check out the mindfulness video. I also have a body scan audio download that goes along with that video.
The second thing you can do is develop an if/then action plan. The first part is creating a list of outward signs that you are ruminating. This is what you’re feeling at the time. Since you can get lost in your head, you may not always be aware of what you’re feeling. Some outward signs are things like rocking, fidgeting, feeling your heart race or you may start to get a headache. Take note of your signs so you can easily recognize when you’re in this state.
Then you want to write plan for what you’re going to do when you notice that you are ruminating. You want to turn to an activity that will distract you from the rumination.
These activities can be relaxing – like listening to a guided meditation or doing a craft, or putting entries into your gratitude journal.
Then you want to form your if/then statements with these two pieces of information. You want to write this down to make it official. You don’t want to keep it all in your head. After all you’re trying to get out of your head.
You want to come up with as many if/then scenarios as you can. You definitely want to cover all of your rumination trigger signs. But for each sign, you may want to have 2 or three activities you will engage in so you can have some variety.
Mindfulness and Depression video
• How To Use Mindfulness For Depression
Relaxation Download
markspsychiatry.com/how-to-stop-ruminating
Reference
Berman MG, Peltier S, Nee DE, Kross E, Deldin PJ, Jonides J. Depression, rumination and the default network. Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2011;6(5):548–555.
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Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.
All Comments (21)
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Humiliating memories get stuck in my head sometimes. I have to talk myself out of it. "who cares, I'm probably the only one who remembers that incident ".
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It gets obsessive, it literally goes on and on. It makes me sad
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Rumination has been THE biggest source of misery in my life. The feeling of utter hopelessness and deep regret. Even when I try and stop replaying the thoughts, the feelings are still there😭
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I ruminate over the most painful things that have happened, it has ruined who I used to be, I used to be happy and now I cannot stop thinking
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I´m not a therapist, but I find distracting yourself from your thoughts doesn´t work in the long run. It just builds more resistance to the thought. Instead, write the thought out on paper WITHOUT judging whatever comes out no matter how shameful, hateful, bigoted, selfish, etc you think the thought is. Having these thoughts doesn´t make you a bad person. You are not your thoughts. What you resist persists. Transfer your thoughts to paper so your mind doesn´t keep analyzing it. It works!
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Ruminating has been a part of my life, my WHOLE life
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Dang. Why does life have to be so hard...work at this, go get therapy for that, this that this that. I just want to start over from scratch sometimes and still remember all of this stuff so I don’t freaking do it again. That’s it.
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"Studies have shown that people are more unhappy when they spend their time with their minds wandering" (good thing to keep in mind)
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I start ruminating as soon as I go to bed. I can ruminate for hours over past events, old hurts, what I am going to do in the future, etc. My mind just will not shut off! Listening to Gregorian Chants helps me. The repetative rythym of the chanting seems to distract my thoughts.
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I find podcasts and books on tape help me. Hearing a voice in your head other than yours is a good distraction.
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I see a lot of people struggling with this thing and here's a little help which I've learned over time and it has helped me alot. So whenever you find yourself ruminating, just calm yourself down. Guide that thought with 'Shhh, Stop'. Be gentle with yourself and don't beat yourself up for thinking this way. This is very psychological and almost everyone goes through this thing. You need not worry about it. Practice breathing exercises before you go to bed. Most of the times it isn't about the person/situation you're ruminating about, it has everything to do with you. Vision your goals and let go of the past. Forgive yourself, thank yourself, and love yourself. For if that particular thing did not happen in your life, you probably wouldn't end up where you are today. You got this. You are not your thoughts. You are you. You can change your thoughts, it will be troublesome in the beginning but you'll make it, I promise. ❤️
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I only ruminate when i didnt get to say things i feel like i should have said, and i stop when i actually get those things off my chest. If i go out doors it helps but once i get back home or have time alone it starts back. Thanks for the info though
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Important to learn about rumination: When we think we've done something stupid or embarrassing, we generally tend to overestimate the duration and intensity of other people's judgments about the situation, especially our role in it. Simply put: 1) People aren't thinking about us or stewing over events as much as we think they are 2) Their feelings aren't as harsh and critical as we think they are Be kind to yourself 🕊
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Rumination is absolute hell.
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You're in your own prison. Literally existing in a nightmare every day.
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I’ve been ruminating over a breakup for nearly two and a half years now and it’s kept me in a state of raw grief nearly the whole time. It’s awful.
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This is also called overthinking. I trained myself to diminish it over time but I used to be a world class accomplished expert at it. I convinced myself it was a complete waste of my time. It took years but it's greatly better than it was.
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Yes I constantly relive embarrassing moments and things I wish I'd never said or done .
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Today, I am still thinking about how my neighbor poisoned and killed my dog in 1969, when I was 4 years old. Now I'm 56, and it still hangs in there with all of the other horrible and humiliating experiences that I've had during my entire life.
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Tell yourself " I am allowed to think about something else" , " I can think about good outcomes", "everyone has troubles, I am glad I have my own". Helped me.
