Harvard negotiator explains how to argue | Dan Shapiro

What do you think of these 3 steps to conflict resolution?

A man once said, “arguing with a smart person is hard but arguing with a dumb person is dam near impossible.”

If you have two parties arguing on eye level, this is possible. Most conflicts I struggle with, is with someone, who has zero interest in solving a problem. They want to prolong the problem, so that they have something "to fight for". It is toxic. They don't want to have their problems solved, because then they will loose their "why".

This guy is a REALLY good speaker. We need more people in leadership positions who can communicate this well.

How to argue - Summary: 1. Know thy self - See your identity clearly and control your emotions and reactions - Stand in your power - Actor instead of Re-Actor 2. Appreciation - Consciously listen to see the other side - Recognize your power to appreciate, it's important to know what others believe 3. Affiliation - Find common ground, search for value and understanding - Love instead of seggregation

Yes, a HUGE part of having a successful argument is to find common ground. Also: - Don’t view conflict as the other person has to lose in order for me to win. - Don't confuse getting even with getting what you want. - It’s not what you say, it’s what they hear.

I've mostly found that keeping your cool and composure is the your best asset in arguing, and using your words very thoughtfully, as to not offend the other party, and to effectively express your point of view, eye contact is a must, and overall tone and tempo of the conversation. All of these are important. And putting yourselves in the other ones shoes, and trying to see it from their eyes as well, and being understanding of their view points, as long as it falls within reason.

The very first thing he said grabbed me "I feel uncomfortable around conflict". I cannot handle conflict. Through various past traumas and things I am not emotionally able to handle conflict, I just shut down. I try my best, but it's like trying to breathe when you're at the bottom of the ocean, I just suffocate. These are very good tips and I'm going to seek out his book.

Can someone appreciate this video editing? amazing combination of key words, messages, images to reinforce... I loved it!

"If you argue with me, you're gay" The simple, yet unbreakable spell used by classmates

How to argue? 1-Yell loudly 2-If that doesn't work threaten the other personal with financially, physically or really anything you have in your grasp 3-If the threats do not work attack them relentlessly in whatever way you can. Do not stop until they are dead or out of reach

I’m only 19 I’ve got a lot to learn but recently I’ve realized how important it is to listen honestly to the others point of vue. If you go into an argument or a debate with the idea that you’re going to destroy the opposition you’re never going to win in your opponents eyes only in the eyes of the watchers. If you want to make real change, change someone’s mind it starts with respect and finding common ground is a really important step. I loved this video it really articulated what kind of person I want to be while arguing/debating or just discussing any subject

Man i misread the title and for a second i thought ben shapiro was gonna say "lets say, hypothetically, youre in an argument"

As a law student, this one video feels incredibly powerful. most of the time, we want to just prove the other person wrong and that is when negotiation comes to the fore front because that when you want to essentially listen to what the other perspective is. even if you don't want to agree, you can simply respect that opinion. three steps to conflict resolution: 1)keep emotions on a lower pedestal; 2) keep the other person in your shoes and yourself in theirs; 3) always remember to disagree but never disrespect.

We’re forgetting a most important aspect: parties have to be willing to change their minds in the light of logical arguing. This is called - or I call it - “intellectual honesty”. Sometimes people can be half right but other times a six is a six and it can never be a nine.

i always try to apply understanding and appreciation in my arguments (and i dont think im bad at arguing thus far) but i guess now i should try to apply affiliation and see how it goes. great 4-minute video!

I really needed this, I'm not very good at argueing but I like to share my opinion/ my stand or point of view. Also, I liked that how you explained things very calmly yet very effective. Thank you Sir!

In every debate, I've always try and put myself in the adversary position first before starting to talk. Try to understand where they're coming from, trying to be objective. But more often than not, in most debates, we have always end up try to proving the other side was wrong. Having a healthy debate is what we want, but that's not what always gonna happen in reality.

4 minutes of my life not wasted. I have been in these situations. Listening to someone with a different opinion and finding a common ground always gave the best results. I'm the type who argues a lot, so I've tested pretty much all of it.

the background music gets on my nerves. It does not allow to focus on the subject.