The Emotional Chaos Narcissists Bring To You, featuring Kati Morton
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Published 2023-04-25
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All Comments (21)
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This video confirms my belief that dealing with narcs are 'above my pay grade'. No contact is the only way to live. And, live you will!
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In the first 6 months of my relationship with my ex he said, I know how to f@ck with people's heads. And naive 21yr old me had no idea what he was talking about and thought little about it. Now I often think about Maya Angelou's quote "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time". This gem would have saved me a lot of pain.
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I have found in my experience most narcissist are spoiled brats who were always given their way, never told no or given adequate discipline or boundaries
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If you are manipulative then you don't need anger! Narcists use anti-social behavior (glibness, hypocrisy, invalidation, alienation, triangulation, gaslighting and projection) to control others, it has a PTSD effect on their victims. The motive is the key, it is ok to get angry if someone is hurting others. A narcissist gets angry in protection of their ego.
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Christmas 2022 we (cousins) had a holiday meal without narcissists (parents). We had a calm, civil, pleasant day (relief). That confirmed it wasn't me or us (cousins) and I realized I was ok and the parents WERE the ones with the problems, I'm so tired of hearing how I, or, we cousins cause all the issues. Leave out the narcissists and there's no issues!
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Sociopaths and Narcissist are not the same thing. Evil intent is the key, and worse is when they pretend to be upright.
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I love Kati's take. When you understand how fragile narcissists are, you see them as they really are. When you see them as aggressive, powerful, and even evil, you give them power. When you see them as pathetic, and fragile... they will hate you with a passion because you see the part of them that they are desperately trying to hide. When you extend them compassion... they hate you as much as they hate the part themselves that they are desperate to hide.
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My mother always told me, "Watch out for the so-called pillars of society." They have the most to hide.
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Yes it's evil to me, when someone can act and say I love you, then turn around and act like your nobody to them. They never cared from the start. They can turn the emotions on and off whenever they feel. With no remorse. It's just all a game to them.
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They turn other family members against you too. Lies, lies and half truths.
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The first indication I have that someone is a narcissist is how they react when someone tells them, "No." That's when you realize their fury is just beneath the surface.
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The 'walking on eggshells' feeling was something I felt from the start, but not knowing anything about narcissism, I didn't see it as a red flag. Turning it around...oh yeah, like telling me I "just chose to be hurt". There was so much more. Thanks Dr C for the chance to hear another view.
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I've known many narcissists, and I've always found it rather ironic that they invariably want to blare to the world that they're "*CONFIDENT,"* yet they crave constant praise and validation; they literally cannot get enough. On the other end of the spectrum, I've known a few (I can think of two, offhand) truly confident people, and they calmly did what they did, knowing they were excellent at it, enjoying the accolades when they came, but not demanding them.
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Their vindictiveness is pure sadistic and devastating because it affects so many aspects of your life. They want to harm, emotionally, physically, mentally and psychologically. It doesn’t matter who is in their way, they enjoy making you hyper-vigilant with fear everyday of your life.
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What amazes me about toxic people is their claim that they don’t like drama, but drama seems to follow them wherever they go. They essentially create chaos and drama but claim they never had anything to do about it. That blows me away.
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He said a narcissist finds your faults and then camps out on them. So true. And the worst part about is they will try to draw out scenarios in which they can place you back ino that faulty version of yourself. And even if the alleged "faulty" behavior isn't that bad or entirely true, nor is the scenario they are now painting you into....it matters not. In their eyes they have proven that you are still the same old monster you have always been, and boy are they going to let you know about it!
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100% spot on. He can never say "I'm sorry".
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Condescending, contemptuous & manipulative, the narcissist in a nutshell .......... "I'm sorry that's what you think" "I'm sorry you feel like that" translates to "I'm sorry you think you can call me out & think that I even care enough to actually acknowledge I did anything wrong to you"
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I would never take feedback from someone who I wouldn't turn to for advice. - Kati
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Please do something on how narcissists affect kids in the short and long run. They really destroy their children’s lives and it takes years, even decades to deal with the effects.
