How therapy can traumatise autistic people (w/ Steph Jones)

Discount code was wrong beforehand, "YoSam20" is the correct code. Apologies!

The number one trauma of being autistic is being misunderstood. Our social environment is a huge factor in psychological safety, but being misunderstood by the very person you are reaching out to to help you with that is severely traumatic

Therapists not getting any training in autism is like medical doctors not getting any training in nutrition. It's one of the most important things for them to know!

"Your very self aware"- literally every therapist I've had has told me this since i started therpay at 17. 😅

My psychiatrist has always wanted me to "feel my feelings" and told me rationalising stuff won't work and was so surprised when it did work for me. Thinking about feelings is how I feel them, those aren't two oposing things.

"No amount of exposure is going to reduce our physical sensations" I've been trying for roughly 75 years now to reduce my anxiety about socializing by socializing more. (Quick background: degrees in psychology, including studying conditioning). I self-diagnosed as having autism about a year ago and have spent a huge chunk of my time recalling and reconsidering events in my life, putting them in this new context of having autism. I, also, came to this conclusion about socializing and anxiety. Now I work on putting my energy into communicating my needs and limits about socializing; statements such as "Thanks for the invitation; I don't do parties" and "I need to finish up now, the noise is bothering me." Works a helluva lot better than trying to desensitize myself.

"Don't let therapy convince yourself that you cannot be the best judge of your own internal experience" This hit home! I am AuDHD. 3 therapies did nothing for me and the fourth harmed me. I ordered the book before completing the video. Thank you for all your validation! So much appreciated.

Every time i've tried therapy it has boiled down to being told I think incorrectly, like yeah this is what i've heard my entire life and part of the problem. Thanks for nothing

When you said therapy teaches you 'you can't be the best judge of your internal experience' this really resonated with me. CBT taught me to gaslight myself about my socially anxious thoughts, when a lot of the time I was actually right about people not liking me 😅

I feel like I need therapy just to help me overcome the therapy I've already had.

I have had several therapists ask me, sarcastically but I think well intentionally, "what is so special about you?" when I tried to tell them I felt different from everyone and that the things that work for other people aren't going to work for me. It gave me the most helpless, frustrated feeling. Now I know why and it was such a relief to find an explanation, though I had to figure it out myself.

“I’m literally telling you” then they analyze the “deeper meaning” when you tell them you speak literally! I experienced this after my husband died with an AWFUL grief therapist. She admitted she’d never even met an autistic person as far as she knew, let alone treated one. She REFUSED to watch SHORT entertaining videos on communication with us. INSISTED that I was “being sarcastic & dismissive” bc of my “anger over my husband’s death”. I ended up sobbing in frustration, then she felt satisfied that she was somehow helping me by “bringing my emotions to the surface”. She did so much harm during a time when I REALLY needed support.

I'm an autistic counsellor and this episode is so validating. Particularly the trouble with the whole "feel your feelings" thing. I've struggled with that immensely and was constantly criticised during my degree by lecturers for supposedly not being willing to be vulnerable or delve deep enough (when in the role of "client" in triads). It made me feel like I was broken, and the embarrassment and fear that this caused me sent my anxiety through the roof. Even with the knowledge that I am autistic, I felt so ashamed for what was clearly perceived by my teachers as a defecit. Still unpacking that as I navigate my practice. I so appreciate this wonderful conversation about such an important topic 💜

I am a 55 year-old late diagnosed Autistic. I've spent most of my life in therapy trying desperately to find out what was wrong with me that made life so recurrently difficult for me! I read every self help book on the planet and I've found it hard to click with many therapists, many who I felt knew less about psychology than I did! 😂 The psychiatrist who finally diagnosed me with ASD in my 50s was shocked that none of my previous therapists had ever suggested autism as a possibility as she said to her it was blatantly obvious immediately!

I was shamed too often for my social skills by therapists. Always trying to "help" me mask better rather than sort out my griefs and bad habits.

Wow! I just realized that “Speaking the second language” of neurotypical behavior has been a survival mechanism for me. I think it’s a better descriptor for me than masking. It makes so much sense that learning to speak “neurotypical” helped me be successful in many ways, but of course, exhausting! Stellar podcast!

The problem isn't the therapies, when applied to the correct situations they have merit. The problem is this attitude that some therapists have that they know better than you do, and that they're never incorrect.

I was told that I was being argumentive when I told my therapist to stop trying to speak for me and stop interrupting me when I speak. I speak slower because it takes time to process what they might be saying

I once tried therapy and before first session I said I'm AuDHD. She was surprised but said alright. At first session when I was explaining what's going on and said I had thought I had panic attacks but after diagnosis I realized those were meltdowns. She asked me "aren't those the same thing?" and that's when I decided that this is not gonna work and never showed up again

I remember how years ago one of my therapist decided that I should try exposure therapy in a "controlled" way. She explained to me that it was completely safe and proven to work. So I agreed, we opened "Pandora's box" in regards to one of my complex traumas and weeks later she told me that, despite this being proven to always work, I was getting worst and worst and worst, so we should stop it. She never taught me how to close the box, nor gave me tools to deal with the emotions. She expected me to feel them until they were all out and processed and, when she saw that I couldn't do it, just told me to stop(???). As I said, years had passen and there has not been a single day nor second on my life in which I havent feel the horrible consequences of what we did. I love all stuff related to brains, nervous systems and how they work. That one therapist helped me a lot in certain things, but istg if there's one, i haven't been so fucked up in my life as i've been then pasts years. Not all therapy is good for everyone, some therapy can be really bad for you and it may break you.