Adult with Autism | Autism Burnout | 25

Take your time and recover. We, the viewers I mean, are not going anywhere or forgetting you! "Problem shared is a problem doubled" more like it, when Autistic person speaks with other people when on verge of burnout. The interaction with other people is so insanely wearing when you are tired, no point. The sleeping advice is way more useful. I actually felt good one morning when I had slept for 9 hours or something like that. It of course lasted only about early afternoon, but it was a start. You are absolutely right about NT people not getting it. I missed lunch today, because I heard that some other people from our office were also about to go to lunch at the same time. I didn't go, because then I would have needed to sit and interact with them. I was hungry rest of the day. Funny or sad part is that the colleagues that "prevented" me from eating are actually really nice people and I like them, but talking was not on my menu today.

Thanks for this one, it’s very timely for me. I’m in the midst of time off work due to burnout, and I’m trying to relax to recharge but I think I let it go too long. Very helpful analogies with the phone, coins and mask. Me too

I experienced burnout just this week and needed to sleep it off. I can only imagine how I’d feel if that wasn’t an option. I’m sorry that you are taken advantage of by some when it’s clear that you are trying to do the right thing by helping. If only you worked somewhere that that sort of effort was appreciated and rewarded. This chat reminds me to be grateful for my workplace. We hope you feel better soon, Paul 👋

That was the best video. It caused me to think about my job and how hard it was, and how hard I’ve always been on myself. For the majority of my life I only got 1 week off work per year. For a minority of it I got 2 weeks off per year. I didn’t have sick pay and was encouraged to go to work sick because my employer didn’t have any backup plan. My employer only closed for Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving…no bank holidays. I wasn’t paid well but my health care was provided, not that I had time to see a doctor much. Having said all that, burn out of any kind is familiar to me. I get migraines and can’t sleep. I went into recluse mode a few years ago and I get plenty of rest now. I hope you get better.

Paul, sorry you are unwell. Take care of yourself and get well soon. I probably have burnouts several times a month. If I get overloaded by something I can crash for a day up to a week. I have had a few that have lasted several months. Though I haven’t had a long one in a long time. 🤞 You mentioned comorbidity and I think the ADHD plays a big role in my burnouts. I will have days where I can’t accomplish anything and then I start the think I will never accomplish anything and so on. Getting up to get a class of water for example can lead to a ruined day for me. At the end of the day my partner will say why is the TV remote in the fridge? Well I was working on pay bills and I got for a glass of water and I noticed the kitchen was untidy and then….! Though if I have a day where everything has changed, schedules aren’t kept then I will most likely crash and burn🙃. Things like that have to pile up a bit before it will bring me down. I recharge with my alone time that I try and take every day. Sometimes an hour works, other times I need a lot more time. Sleeping, I am with you man. Its a struggle most times for me to sleep. Five hours is a great night for me. My response is a bit scattered asI am a bit scattered. Wonderful that you have a few shows in the can as it were. This one was excellent. I do think that autism burnout is different for us than maybe for NT’s in that we have strict structures and routines that we must follow, we mask to fit in, we over think a lot and have sensory issues. Wow I said we and should have said I! Not meaning to speak for everyone! Take care Paul see you on the next one!

Hi Paul, I understand what you were saying about having negative thoughts that can creep into your head especially when you are trying to sleep,I had this happen to me the other night and when it does happen I find it horrible as the more I try and get these negative thoughts out my head ( mostly about things that were out of my control in the past ) the more the negative thoughts flood in, luckily this does not happen to much for me but when it does I find that it can leave me in a low mood and affects my self esteem for several days until I get back on track again.

Take care Paul ♥️

Hey Paul, I hope you get better soon. Thanks for this video (who cares when you made it), I can relate to so much of what you describe. I think you might have generalized anxiety disorder and that’s why you can’t sleep at night, I was exactly the same until I got my diagnosis and decided to stop working in order to recollect myself. That’s when I realized that most of my anxiety came from the outside, to a point that at a moment I even doubted my diagnosis because I felt so... good. That’s when I could start exploring the subtleties of my autism and start learning to adjust myself to them. It’s a journey. Masking is really draining mentally and physically. I can feel your anger and it’s mine too. It’s all about working in this society, if you can’t work you can’t survive and you are nobody. Even now that I said to some of my relatives that I have autism, they’re like : « so now you need to find a job that’s good for you » and I want to say : « Hold on, I need to recover, I am exhausted, I need to find myself back after all these years of masking and trying to fit in ». I am so grateful I have the support of my partner who works for two and supports me in this journey, but how many of us don’t have this chance ? People don’t understand the stress and anxiety that regular life can cause us. Take care of you 🙏

Holidays... agree completely! Pre-pandemic, I was always scraping the bottom of the barrel with my holidays... often taking "half days" and just going home at lunch and not returning. Now (work from home + autism diagnosis) I understand why I did that. When I would save up enough hours to go on an actual (family of 5) vacation... I would be utterly drained upon return and just a zombie for a week-plus until I could slowly recharge. Makes it very difficult to be cheery and present for the wife and kids on the trip or whatever... when I know the exhaustion I have looming ahead. Been looking forward to a video from you. I was glad to have one to watch while I ate my dinner and nodded my head in agreement while stuffing my face ;-) Hope you begin feeling well soon... take care.

Hi Paul, sorry it's been awhile since I've commented on one of your videos. Just want to say this is a really great video and is very relatable to me. When I started my new job in December 2021I tried to explain these things that you've said in the videos to my employers and coworkers. I have been there for a month and two weeks now and still no one seems to understand about my recharge time. They don't understand my strict routines before work and at work and how I need absolute silence and keeping focused when I try to meet my quota at work. When I get days off work I have a strict routine on those days as well and I need to have those days off work to recharge. I don't need them calling me to come into work on my days off or messaging me just to have a chat. I think to myself... What more do you want from me, I chat with you all during the whole shift at work isn't that enough? One of my co-workers has autism she is 18 years younger than me though. I tried to explain these things to her and also tried to tell her on my days off work I really don't feel like having conversations through text or phone calls nor do I like to have conversation before I have to go into work or after work. For some reason she doesn't even understand any of this and will constantly text and call me everyday of the week morning and night. I try to put it nicely when I convey... please don't call me I'll call you when I'm in the mood to talk. There's so much more I could say about all this in detail, but just trying to put my frustrations into words on this comment is a bit frustrating, lol. Anyways what I'm trying to say is I totally understand what you're talking about in this video! I truly hope you're getting your recharge time now. Today is my day off work and I'm definitely trying to get my recharge accomplished. Just glad I was in the mood to make a comment. Keep smiling Paul 😃

'everytime you burnout and have to recharge you lose a bit of yourself' - what do you mean? For example does your taste change permanently? I ask because my tastes have changed and i can't speak now (it's been 5 days). I couldn't move my arms I was so exhausted and then next day woke up and was slurring my words, which turned to a stutter which became more severe the more I tried..... if I could get any words out at all. I'm almost your age. Imagine if you woke up having never had a speech issue EVER. I thought I'd had a stroke! Got head scans and stuff and I'm physically 'fine'. Dr is guessing anxiety but given the lead up to this being the LEAST anxious I'd been in months and first time id had gotten any rest, I think it might be autistic burnout. I'm curious if you Paul or anyone else in the comments have burned out to point of being unable to move their arms theyre so exhausted or lost their speech? I hope you feel better soon and thanks for the perfect timing of your topic of 'waffle'. Keep smiling X

Hey Paul, I'm 28 male from Germany and got diagnosed recently - after two years of being already on the autism-research-special-interest because I strongly believed I'd be autistic. As you mentioned - to know who one is, is the biggest challenge for me, I found myself 1:1 in being what the people needed me to be. Just with having the diagnosis recently I started to think about on another layer than I did before about who I really am, because now I've it black on white proven, that I'm autistic. I feel super burned out, I wanted to know if anyone experiences as well a loss of joy in special interests or in general things one used to get fun out of - in burnout stage. I meltdown nowadays almost every day one or even two times, one time in the middle of a meeting, because another manager just suggested something totally useless and stupid, which would have had effected my division in a really negative way (additional that it was completely out of touch with reality) and everyone seemed to be cheering at his idea... However, I lost the red line. I didn't meltdown there. But in the evening at home I did. I find myself here at home in the evenings almost like I'm mad. I find myself leaning in front of my kitchen shelf and staring at my table - for one hour. Then I start walking around, don't know what to do really, ordering a few things, turning on the laptop, turning it off, turning on the TV, staring at the start display of it and turn it off again. I'm not even able to read a book anymore and since psychology is my special interest, I love to read books about whatever related to it, my whole flat is paved with these books. I don't even find the energy to make myself dinner, so I position myself in different parts of my flat, listening to podcasts (as yours) and do laundry or clean. I should be tired I guess in the evening, but I can't sleep until 3 or 4 - and then I get up between 7 or 8 and I feel tired until 12pm. Then it works somehow. Even on the weekends I can't do anything joyful. I get even totally mad inside already when I've to go to my nearby supermarket, just because of the people walking around and talking and to talk to the cashier, just to say "hello", "I'd like to pay by card", "have a good home time later on" is as intense as an escape from an attacking T-Rex - not that I know that from experience, but I imagine it kind of, well, intense. Is this how other autistics experience it as well? I just wanted to gain some insight on that one. Like your channel alot, very relatable oftentimes, it safes my evenings these days, cause I binge-watch your videos. That keeps me sane when I lean against my kitchen shelf. Greetings and thanks for sharing your experience.

I can fully understand. My declining living standards only exasperate the problem. I had a pay cut on my soul sucking job and left my apartment to move into a camper. I was born in the wrong generation to have autism where there is no help, or higher education. It doesn't even seem worth it anymore.

I really appreciate your video. I'm a single parent in autistic burnout and I find it so hard explaining to people around me what's going on. It's been 5 weeks off work 😬 and I'm starting to really stress about money.

Hope you get well. Had the same thoughts about the spoon theory. Your approach makes more sense.

Wow! Stumbled on your channel, sounded like me talking…I mean the thoughts. Finding years of masking has drained me to the point I find it harder and to rebuild myself. At 57, I just don’t have the energy to be everything the world needs me to be. Thanks for this straight talk, all of it so true.

just found your channel after listening to this episode on spotify. your spoon theory comment is exactly what i thought when i heard about it, got a chuckle and a sub out of me.

I am currently going through a burnout. I had no idea this was a thing, thanks for the video, made me look this up and begin to figure out what I need. I can't keep my mask up, I have the urge to snap at people, and I'm stuck in a conference for work. Isn't it amazing when you look for the seat farthest from everyone, and someone sits down next to you....

Thank you for sharing your experience. It surely helped me

You make amazing cointent bro! Keep up the good work! A great ressource for someone like me who works with autistic kids.