10 Life Lessons from 10+ Years Living in Germany

Good morning all. What lessons have you learned from Germany or from living abroad?

What living abroad has taught me: 1) people are people everywhere 2) people will stick with what and who they know or what seems familiar 3) discrimination is stupid and any feelings of smug superiority of your own country/town/nook are completely unwarranted

Whenever I travel to the USA (fairly recently), UK (not so recently) I do appreciate the politeness and friendliness of almost everyone I randomly meet. Coming back to Germany usually feels like coming back to the cold - in every sense. But I was fortunate enough to learn something else, too. In 2016 we hosted a Russian exchange student for 2 months. She was a lovely girl and spoke German really well, but she hardly ever smiled. My daughter had just spent 4 weeks in the US and one day we talked about the difference between German and American customer service and how comparatively rude Germans were. Our Russian guest said, she really didn't know what we were all talking about. Compared to Russians the Germans had to be the politest and friendliest people in the world. If at home a grocery cashier ever smiled at her, she'd question their mental health. 😂

A couple of things I appreciate in Germany: no heavy lorries allowed on the motorways on Sunday (and shops shut), and general quality of workmanship - you can usually trust a tradesperson to do a good job. The latter I think is due to the importance in Germany of investing in higher education and apprenticeships, to the greater benefit of society as a whole.

Your sports analogy ("life is a game") is very instructive. I was yelled at by a German cyclist for not being fully to the right when he was passing, and the extremity of the scolding shocked me . I think if you are from the USA and someone yells at you like that, it means: "I might have to fight this person."

There's a big difference between being polite and lying, being clear on something important and being impolite. You can still be honest and polite, but yet direct and clear in your demands and expectations. The second thing is whether you're asked about the opinion or not.

Being polite,friendly, helpful, funny like the Brits makes life in GB smooth and comfortable (for visitors who know English). It feels as if sb has put a soft blanket round your shoulders .😊

Well thought out video. During my 18 years living in Germany I matured by changing my attitudes, some are the good points you mentioned. The lack of small-talk appealed to me. Get to the point! I learned patience and to adjust. The best years of my life.

Very honest and helpful points I think. I'm German and I agree with basically everything you said except maybe no 10. I'm not sure going to another place with stereotypes in mind might not actually be more harmful in the long run. Point for debate :). My two cents concerning "honesty", the reverse case: At first the US or the UK seem a bit like wonderland to us Germans. Everybody's so friendly and polite!! OMG the service! But then comes the reality check... the standard German will not be able to deal with dishonesty for politeness sake at first. We take everything at face value and then find out the hard way that, no, that person did not really want to see us again soon 😭 😅. I found it SO HARD to make friends in the UK. I was constantly second guessing everything people said. Do they really like me? Do they actually want me here? Would they rather I leave??? How will I ever know?? It. was. exhausting. 😆 Anyhow! Really great vid! Also I'd like to apologize for all the idiots holding you personally responsible for brexit. 😬

Thank you for teaching the English speaking folks around the world how Germans are different than the Brits! Just a different neck of the woods 🇩🇪🇬🇧

Kudos! In my opinion, this is one of your very best videos ever! I also noticed that you came over as being more assertive than usual. That was quite refreshing, too. I was particularly interested in your analysis of making friends with Germans. Your experience with Germans very much reflected my own experience of making friends with Swiss people years ago in Switzerland when I lived and worked there. Your walnut/avocado analogy was both interesting and accurate. It also brought a smile to my face! My experience of making friends in Switzerland was just the same as yours in Germany: making friends with a Swiss person was difficult and took a great deal of time. One had to break down barriers. However, what I found was that once one had made a friend of a Swiss person, that person was a true friend and was your friend for life! I found Swiss friends to be very loyal and dependable. And if you were ill or in some other kind of difficulty, your Swiss friend was there for you! By contrast, after Switzerland, I went to work in Saudi Arabia. There, I worked with many American colleagues. I found Americans to be the complete opposite of the Swiss: one made a 'friend' of an American extremely quickly; however, one could lose that so-called 'friendship' very easily and quickly, as well. The old English expression 'easy come, easy go' comes to mind! I am going to place this excellent video up on my blog. I think that it would be interesting to many of my visitors. I hope that this will please you. Ich hoffe sehr, daß Du Keine Einwände haben wirst. 🙂

I am British/English and I learnt to be friendly from living in Turkey for 8 months.

Nice overview Ben! Some notes: #6 for me, it was actually easier making friends in Germany than in our country. #7 there is a saying: Deutschland = Gründlichkeit (if you do it, do it thoroughly) Österreich = Gemütlichkeit (keep calm, slow down, let's make it nice) Schweiz = Pünktlichkeit (our trains run on time, so do our lives). I also would like to add #11: prepare to walk. Prepare. To. Walk. A. Lot. Cities are highly walkable, but it is also part of the way of life. Many Germans start the day with a walk ("Morgenspaziergang"). Greetings from the Netherlands.

Good morning, Benjamin; again you have brought up more than one substantial point! It's always interesting to think about views ... Confession: When it comes to being blunt, I am a cliché kraut who dislikes small talk and beating about the bush immensely. But on the other hand unfortunately you are right concerning the feeling of not being welcome as a customer in certain stores. The "Servicewüste Deutschland" really exists!😢 It's a national shame.😠 Anyway, I wish you and all your fans here a delightful, blessed and relaxing Sunday!😊

I don't understand why English speakers find learning German so difficult. The two languages are closely related, and part of what makes improving my English enjoyable is finding out about cognate words and how they evolved apart in the two languages. I recommend to any English speaker interested in learning German (or any other Germanic language) to look up words in etymonline and be fascinated about what form and meaning a familiar English word has acquired in German (or Dutch, Swedish, Danish etc)

Thank you for your openness and sensitivity! You really do know us! So nice to have your experience shared with us!

Dear Brit in Germany, I think I saw that you actually live in Frankfurt, my old home town which I left in 1973 to move south to the Black Forest to then to leave Germany in 1988 altogether, it probably changed a lot, it definitely got bigger. Poor thing, the "Hesse" (from the federal country of Hessen where Frankfurt is located) is known for being the most direct in entire Germany, even other Germans complain at times. My english husband actually takes it quite well when I quickly end his self-delusion trip by bringing him straight back down to earth (auf den Boden der Tatsachen), he calls me hard but fair. I now live in lovely Suffolk and try to cope with the english way of "muddling through", not easy...

At the latest when you as a German order "ein Weck", "eine Semmel", "eine Schrippe", "ein Brötchen" etc in a bakery of another “tribe”, you will be recognized as a foreigner.

I find that there are wide variations between different regions in Germany..Moin moin!

The cultural aspects of a people can be persistent over time and place. Nothing about German culture surprises or bothers me. I'm very comfortable when visiting Germany. The rural German farm community and family environment I grew up with in Wisconsin maintained these characteristics long after the residents emigrated here in the late 1800's. I was raised with directness and have always been direct myself, for example. When visiting Germany for the first time, my wife commented jokingly, "Now I understand why you and your family are the way you are." My heritage is north German, by the way, and I'm much more comfortable there than in the south of Germany. Good video. Thanks.