Can a Narcissist Change?

Just read a book on narcissism written by a psychiatrist in my country (I'm from Hungary). He's been treating narcissistic and NPD patients for decades. It was an extremely triggering as well as educating read to me. His experiences, sadly, show that even those "mature" narcs who seek therapy are extremely difficult to improve. It takes several years and a very professional, resilient therapist. Even then, the majority of the cases are failures. This personality style, mostly if pathological, is massively rigid. I've seen it with my Dad. Lost cause, I'd suggest you guys run for the hills, and find a healthy person. Seriously.

Narcissists DON'T change, certainly not to any significant degree. If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, get out of there FAST as it will just be a matter of time before they gradually destroy your soul, your self-esteem, your confidence, your self of self etc etc.

Intentions don’t mean a thing especially when the narcissistic person gets a kick out of being hurtful.

I left The process was slow, I was always tired, always in a bad mood and I could barely function. When my thoughts got in a really dark place I went to therapy and I think it saved my life. I didn't know I was in a mentally abusive relationship for 10 years. I was hard to realize, the manipulation was subtle but continous. When he thought he trapped me financially (house) and I learned with the help of my therapist to set boundaries and get in touch with my feelings, everything got worse. I tried for nearly one year by changing my bahavior. In 11 years not one sorry for anyhting he did. no step forward... Juste make sure when you leave to understand what was your part in the story, it will help so much for the future. I hope he will be able one day to reflect his behavior, but not with me at his side anymore. Now living my best life, no regrets. I have lot of energy. I lost my dreamhouse, some friends, the village I loved, but nothing of this was worth staying and I managed to replace them quickly. Being alone (when you're really alone) is not as hard as beeing alone when your partner is around.

One can have Narcissistic behavior as a trauma response of their own without ACTUALLY being a narcissist and those people can get better.

Narcissists don't change but a person who was raised by a narc and therefore adopted their behavior, that person can change

I had to finally decide that it was more important to not allow my children to think this was an acceptable way to be in a relationship. Unfortunately, it put my life at risk and landed him in jail. Be safe out there everyone who is ready to leave a toxic relationship! Thank you for these videos!

Fiance left me around Thanksgiving, and now Im watching her repeat the cycle with a new guy. The worst part is knowing all I did for 5 years was try to help her grow at the cost of my own progress and growth, only to have her leave because I got jealous and miserable for being ignored and belittled. If anyone else is struggling please remember: You deserve better.

Didn’t wait around for that change - emotional abuse is not an optional now, today … not tomorrow !

I was so upset that my responses were not who I am. Silent treatment to an abuser is called gray rock. Reactive abuse is not our fault; it's survival.

For the person reading this, who is trying to get themselves out of one of these relationships...or maybe you're just starting to realise what you're dealing with... It has taken around 3 years of healing, but finally I feel relief and freedom instead of sadness at 'losing' this imaginary character who repeatedly reinforced my own thoughts... that I didn't matter. These people can utterly destroy your self worth, and nothing you can ever do or say will ever change them. Nothing. Keep the faith and give yourself time to heal.

I know this is meant for romantic relationships, but as a child of a narcissistic parent, this has helped me with knowing how to set boundaries. Thank you, Jimmy!

Someone with narcissistic trait in theory change. Someone with narcissistic personality disorder. Run! Recognise the signs and leave!

My 20 year anniversary is next month. I, and my children, sleep at our new place tonight. I finally have had enough. I've cried a lot this last month. He said he's finally seen the light and can totally change and be present in our relationship and family. My question is, if it was so easy, why didn't he do it 15 years ago when I first started saying he wasn't participating in our life. Such a waste of time...all those years.

Apologies? Huh? In my experience, the one who is abused is the one who apologizes. The abuser tells you that you made it up or you're too sensitive. Or it was your fault that it happened at all. In my experience, they do not apologize. Ever.

they have to face there pain instead of suppressing and face their fears. MOST aren’t going to change until they hit rock bottom! Sometimes not even then. My dad lost two children to death and me who don’t speak to them again. He had a severe back surgery and he still hasn’t changed at 73. He is now alone and single.

My ex is a narcissist, but he was like that due to a survival trait related to the negative environment he had growing up according to research. He is a better human now. Not for everyone, and it's a slow process, it seems. Accountability is huge, but how Jimmy taught me to approach telling him about my needs properly, with respect. Anyways since then, he watches Jimmys videos and is growing. Have hope, but dont waste yourself, I only really found peace once I started to heal myself and hold us both accountable. ❤️ Jimmy changed our life! Many blessings 🙏🏽

Thank you Jimmy for the end where you reach out to those who aren't narcissists but are being called that even though they want to build actual real connection with their significant other and are willing to put in the work.

I can't say that he is a narcissist, I can say I had to leave. UGH! the hardest thing I had to do. And I can say, I am more true to myself then I have ever been. Another sad, but satisfying statement.

Howry cwap after hearing this information. I can Identify as a covert narcissist in a relationship with a covert narcissist. I may not be much but I'm all I think about. While believing I do everything for everybody. This gives me some hope hearing your perspective on narcissist having a chance at relationship success