Do You Overwhelm People? (w/ Role Plays!)

Chapters: 0:00 Intro & Story TIme 3:38 Examples of Overwhelming Others 6:55 Connect With Me 7:23 How Overwhelming Others Impacts Our Relationships 10:08 Two Major Reasons We Overwhelm 10:18 Two Major Reasons We Overwhelm (The Vacuum) 11:29 Two Major Reasons We Overwhelm (Seeking a Parent in Others) 12:29 The Four Types of Overwhelming Energy 13:34 The Four Types of Overwhelming Energy (Communication) 13:50 The Four Types of Overwhelming Energy (Rescue) 14:13 The Four Types of Overwhelming Energy (Validation) 14:41 The Four Types of Overwhelming Energy (Preoccupied) 15:05 The Four Types of Overwhelming Energy (Underlying Factors) 15:50 Role Plays and What to Do Instead 17:17 Communication: Intense/Overshare (Role Play) 18:40 Communication: Tangential (Role Play) 20:08 Examples (Communication) 21:01 Rescue: Overstepping (Role Play) 22:02 Rescue: Mindreading (Role Play) 22:54 Examples (Rescue) 23:55 Validation: Defensive (Role Play) 24:45 Examples (Validation) 25:49 Preoccupied: Shutting Down (Role Play) 27:05 Examples (Preoccupied) 28:27 Monthly Healing Community 28:42 Final Thoughts (What About the Other Person?) 30:23 Final Thoughts (Am I Too Much?) 31:29 Final Thoughts 31:50 Outro

I bought a journal, and I do not speak on my emotional or intellectual life to anyone, it all goes in there, the people around me are puzzled by my silence, but once I've vented on paper I have no need to express myself to them, I am more at peace, more self reflective, and more mindful of how I show up.....Get a journal and make it your habit, and a form of self care.😊

I even overwhelm myself! I’ m both tiring and tired of myself. 🙈😩

I have been oversharing and I feel like I can't stop myself.

I feel embarrassed after running my mouth so much. I know its too much but it's always after the fact I realize!

This comment is dedicated to the people who have all their lives heard people say “this conversation is too deep. Can we change to something lighter?” When it’s literally just a conversation that ISN’T gossip. Which the shallow aren’t used to. This comment is for people who talk too much or too little for others’ likings. My entire life I have had people criticize me for both being too talkative due to my high energy ADHD and other times for not talking enough when I am tired or not interested in a boring conversation. I go completely nonverbal when people are gossiping and trash talking others. I know there’s others out there like me. I’ve heard that I’m too optimistic for people’s liking. Know there’s more like you out there. “Saying the wrong thing” has been an immense insecurity my whole life for me due to constant criticism in my family and school. My therapist told me I need to trust that I have learned and evolved after years of therapy, and that it’s not a big deal to mess up in these ways. I hope this helps anyone who can relate ❤

Overwhelmed People overwhelm others. That’s me. How can I be with people whom overwhelm me, causing me to trigger others? And it seems that EVERYONE overwhelms me these days. I am becoming a hermit. I fantasize about social activities, but can’t wait to leave them after 20 min. Does anyone else feel this way?

“Feel like you shoot in the dark socially or didn’t get the handbook others got…” describes my existence until the last 5 or so years…

I think it's from not being listened to in childhood when it really, REALLY mattered by the people who could've helped, thereby saving me from the deafening silence of abuse & emotional abandonment, if only they'd listen, if only I'd say it in a way to make them actually take me seriously 😔

Yep. I'm a people pleaser. So I tend to butt in a lot. Even the tiniest bit of conflict sends me into terror mode.

This is good info. But it makes me want to isolate even more. I’m so tired of trying to figure myself out.

Maybe this is why I don't have any friends. This video is overwhelming about me being overwhelming. I feel like crawling into a deep hole and giving up. I don't know how to "be" with other people. I don't know how to balance my energy and how to be authentic without being intense or running the energies that you spoke of. It is all just exhausting. I isolate and stay in my house for fear of being too much or a burden to others. I feel deeply lonely.

I overwhelm neuro typicals. Yep.. but with other NDs, it’s easy and we can say to each other, “whoa! Slow down speed racer!”

I am intense and I overwhelm people. I was the scapegoat and I also never felt seen, heard or validated. I had no mirroring. My dad was abusive, my mom was emotionally unavailable. I realize that I have this issue but I'm kinda stuck on how to stop. I feel like I'm such a disposable person deep down that it hurts my feelings to be seen this way. But, I understand why I'm hard to be around. Childhood trauma just really fuckin sucks. It's so pervasive and affects every aspect of our lives. It's exhausting.

I’ve been trying so hard to retrain myself to not overshare. I’ve gotten so good at masking that I recently had an acquaintance at my volunteer job describe me with words like “nice”, “cool”, “chill”. Meanwhile I’m three years out of a decade-long heroin addiction, I’m having tons of health problems, I’m back living with my abusive parents, and I’m panicking about finding a job so I can get the f— out as soon as possible. I’m super anxious, unsure of myself, and intensely fearful of connection. I constantly feel like I’m about to spontaneously combust. But somehow I manage to appear “chill”. This shocked me.

When you grow up with emotional neglect & abuse, no one ever hears or cares about how you feel or what you have to say. You crave connection & understanding with someone. You need to be able to share what's going on in your life with someone other than your therapist. So sometimes, you end up overwhelming people. I've learned to keep most of it to myself these days. What's frustrating to me is that some of the people that I have supposedly "overwhelmed" think nothing of sharing all their problems with me & I have listened even when it was more than I wanted to hear because they were in a rough spot & I was trying to be a good friend or partner. I'm getting to the point where I guess I'm only going to talk with my therapist or to myself or keep my conversations superficial.

Wow. Thank you, Patrick. All of this really hit home - in my wounded state I did this with practically everyone in my life. I recognized myself in almost every example you discussed here. What I'm pleased about is my emotional response while watching this video. Instead of the overwhelming shame and self-loathing I would have felt two years ago, I smiled, recognizing that I've come a long way in growing beyond those things. At 67, I'm unfolding into my best life, and it feels good. Brightest blessings to everyone.

i almost always feel bad after I talk to someone. either I said too much, too little, or the wrong thing. I'm so sick of being a weirdo. I think the neediness and dysfunction come through to people even when you try to mask it.

Yea, i asked too many questions apparently, when my abuser was lying and gaslighting and i knew he was. So...im glad he got overwhelmed 😂 cause i was beyond frustrated.

I’ve been told I’m too negative they don’t want to be around me and yes I’m always looking for someone who can just be nice to me I prefer dogs over people I don’t know how or what to say to people any more