Advice for Autistic Unmasking

i dont know if its intentional, but i feel so seen with how much raw footage you use. the pauses, the starting over with your sentences, the occasional stumbling over your words, the rambling -- i have a theory that this could be an autistic trait because often times, at least for me, it feels like our thoughts run way too fast for what we're capable of vocalizing on the spot. ive just recently discovered your channel, im a self dx autistic who masks (not well) and im loving your content so far 💕

I spent most of my adult life masking. Before I suspected that I might have ASD, I used to say to myself "time to put on public face." I still don't unmask in public much. But, I have given up uncomfortable eye contact. If people don't like it or think I'm hiding something, I don't care.

Only recently diagnosed at 38, no idea who I am unmasked but I'm slowly making steps in giving myself permission to go easier on myself. Knowing I've basically spent my whole life burnt out and well... it's been frankly everything you'd expect from a life in burn out. Anyway I feel you about going through friendship groups and relationships trying to be something you aren't.

I'm really glad you discovered/realised your autism younger than me and are further along in your journey and self discovery, etc. as well - I was 30 when I was diagnosed (34 now) and I'm still trying to work this stuff out. Thank you for this video, it does contain a few decent tips because I often feel like I don't know what I'm meant to do to unmask. I feel like perhaps it's a bit too late and things are too jumbled up with mental illness, etc. for me, but I have hope for people who are now realising younger and have access to content like this to help them. 💜 I'm definitely masking less than I was, which has to be a positive thing at least.

In my experience unmasking more can take a lot of time and it helps to spend a lot of time alone. I can still have the thought, that I shouldn't do something because it's not normal, but it gets less over time.

Diagnosed officially 2 weeks ago after a 4 year waiting list 👋 I've had a long time to analyse what makes me autistic 😂 After telling family and friends (who were all so chill about it) they keep asking me what they can do to support me. Very sweet and kind but I'm here like I don't know, just continue treating me the same. They have always let me be myself but now it suddenly feels like people are changing how they are around me 🤷‍♀️ Definitely still processing

Another great video Dana 😊 Otis is just the most adorable boy 😍🤣 The way he snuggles with you 💖 Bless his heart 💓 I think I'm most unmasked around my little sisters. With everyone else it's still a challenge 🙃

In personal time, I've gotten better at prioritizing me, and saying no and such. Rest is a weapon, as Jason Bourne says. In a more professional capacity I spent quite some energy at censoring what would otherwise come out rather bluntly. Blunt works if people know you decently well, not as much otherwise. And I generally don't disclose, unless I trust people reasonably well. Which can both help and hurt. Light sensitivity has kind of become a joke. I am the one with dark theme everything always. Though it hasn't been connected to autism, just preference. I think I've accepted it being me, and just trying to make the best out of it, preserving energy where it makes sense, and burning it where it benefits me most.

I find that people are all over me like a rash when they meet me but after a while they just disappear. I think NTs just want everything to be light and happy & fluffy all the time or they just move on to the next one. I can see why people mask so hard just to try to keep the NTs happy.

I really appreciate this video💜

I hear you in hiding my own discomfort because I know it’s “weird” and believed it was not as real as something that could kill you or whatever. I’ve been more open with people in my life about settings/situations being uncomfortable for me. It still feels hard (except in moments where I just can’t hide it, but then I worry I’m faking the reaction). I don’t have any suggestions.

thank you

Some masking is necessary if not masking places some kind of burden on others. Be yourself as long as it does not affect others negatively. Its a balancing act

Success story(?)... I recently participated in a latte art competition. (I'm a barista) It was a worse experience than I expected... The music was so loud that the bass was beating my heart for me, the room was completely packed with people (I was early, so I claimed a seat), and the sun was setting at just the right angle to be in my eyes. To top everything off, I was the last in the lineup of 64 people, so I had to sit in the chaos for 2 hours. Since I had my bosses and a coworker with me, I initially began with masking. But after I realized I would just end up with a migraine and inevitable meltdown if I did nothing to accommodate my needs, I tried unmasking some. I had my noise cancelling headphones on and they did not leave my head even when it was my turn to compete. I let myself rock as much as I needed, and let my face remain neutral instead of a masked smile. I still had a meltdown on the way home, but it was an accumulation of other meltdown-inducing stressors throughout the day. But I had my own car, so I was able to be completely alone afterwards to process.

Conditioning, programming (genetics) and indoctrination of knowledge play a role in the quest to find your true self. But, it’s an impossible quest! There is no such thing as a true self! Discuss… 🤔😁☯