How soon do Avoidants break No Contact? (When will they reach out to you)

They'll never reach out. They have shiny new object syndrome so they just go to their next victim, who they will lead on and then discard.

45-60 days is absolutely NOT enough for a true avoidant. Most people should be expecting 3-4 months MINIMUM for an avoidant ex to begin resurfacing. If they have anxious tendencies, that will completely throw off the whole timeline, as they will keep cycling btw the anxious & avoidant sides repeatedly. (Both my ex and I are BOTH avoidants so I speak from some personal experience.)

Regarding avodiants, due to their deep insecurities, i think an important variable is their social circle, and family memebers cheerleading them on for making the "right" choice. As they say misery loves company.

It took 7 weeks of no contact for my avoidant ex to reach out. Made contact under the guise of wanting some music. Nothing was said that showed any introspection or shift in awareness. Felt just like to gain attention and talk about themselves. The further I get away from the relationship, the clearer I see how badly I allowed myself to be treated. I feel much more at peace now. I will not invite the disrespect and turmoil back into my life again. Unless I can see there has been significant change there's nothing to even begin to work with.

I met her 6 months ago. We had a 3-month relationship. Now I've been in no-contact for 70 days since she broke up with me. Honestly, I doubt she'll come back because she got back with her ex-boyfriend. That's just how life is.

Honestly who need this head ache!! Run for your life!

It took 9 months last time. I don’t think he will come back again but if he does I can’t fall back into the madness anymore. I have realized my values matter more than the temporary highs I get from seeing him when he decides I can. I am standing by my personal integrity

Anxious attacher here, unresolved trauma pushed my avoidant ex away. Was painful to say the least but showed me what i need to change in order to lead a healthy life and find love again one day. Part of me wants him to reach out but it would be on his terms and i know i cant hold onto hope alls it will destroy me.

Ours fizzled out overtime. Said she doesn't know who she is anymore and wanted to focus on being a mother for awhile. Didn't part on bad terms. Truly hope she realizes I would love her through it all and comes back. But if not, I'll be ok.

I’m very grateful for the your kind words. It is very rare to hear such compassionate explanations. 😊

As a fearful avoidant, having been on both sides of the relationship This is difficult from both ends.

Charlie just found out about you, ive been hearing you for 45 minutes on deep focus. Im finding your ways of unveiling information soo soothing and eye opening! Keep going you are doing great man. Anxious avoidant here, its been two weeks since i broke up with her, currently starting to regret it. But imma hold back and try to be a better me first, and regain balance. I cannot be wrong, ill get clarity over it all, and if it happens i truly regret it, i can present myself to her as a healtier partner. Your content really resonated with everything im feeling rightnow. Thank you for posting, Manuel

The words “break up “ cuts like a knife when I hear it.

as much as i hate to admit, there's still a part of me that is still hoping my avoidant ex would message me. just a simple "hey, how are you? how are things?" would mean the world to me. its almost 4 months (this coming june 4 to be exact) since he broke up with me which was also the start of no contact. but sometimes the other part of my brain would say just move on cause he's never coming back and that he probably already forgot my existence haha.

That avoidant shit was toxic

it really variates a lot. as long as the connection was deep, and even if it was short, they could come back. on the other hand, if they are good at soothing themselves with substances or rebound-relationships, i think it gets more difficult. never impossible - but so much more difficult. and who wants that...

Amazing coach. Thank you so much for this video. I like how deep you went in regards to the factors of the break up in the first place and about how the relationship was prior break up. These are things coaches don’t really dive deep into. All of these definitely play a role. Subscribed and liked

10 months nc and i still miss her, I could not handle it anymore and broke the thing we hath. I want her back but not like it was before, I can’t get over her

My avoidant ex offered me a "beautiful friendship" after we broke up because he felt like he liked his independence and he didn't know how to reciprocate my love. I tried to do it but found out he wasn't even asking about me and we were barely communicating, and it was too much effort to grieve the relationship for almost nothing as a friendship. So I decided to block him.. it was starting to affect my mental health I still wish he would reach out but I am aware I need to block him to heal.. so I'm putting myself first now

I’m feeling really despondent right now. It’s been 5 weeks since he told me to go away and that he never wanted to speak to me again. He had completely blindsided me, we were great and thriving one minute, cold for a few days and then bam, it’s over. No real explanation. I tried to talk to him about what happened, but when I got no replies, I just let him be. Then I ran in to him and he was really nice. Asked to meet up for coffee after he’d finished doing what he had to do. I went to the meet up place he suggested, and waited and waited. He never came. When I later asked why, he said he’d run in to friends and was busy catching up with them. I was upset and angry at the disrespect - not even a message to say he wasn’t coming. I told him it was a rotten thing to do and called him out for it. Worst thing I could have done, because he used my anger as a reason for pushing me away completely. He made me the villain. I was doing okay, but now going through a rough patch again. I know it’s still early days, but he seems like he’s out there living high again as though we never even happened. 😞