How Did Your Parents Mess You Up? | Fiona Douglas | TEDxPuxi

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Published 2018-01-03

Parenting is always a reflection of our best selves and our worst selves. Despite good intentions and efforts, every parent has deficits which can harm children with lifelong trauma and even death. Fiona Douglas suggests a way to remedy parental deficits so that all children can experience safer and more secure childhoods. Fiona Douglas is an advocate for greater awareness of child abuse and domestic violence issues. Over the past ten years, Fiona has supported hundreds of people in crisis in the UK and in China. Most importantly, she has been inspired by the courage of people living in crisis, and the power of conversations to change lives. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

All Comments (21)

@surendrakumardani7225 4 years ago

Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child
@Rina-xb9pt 4 years ago

My mother is a good role model..... She's everything I don't want to become.
@inayahcee3131 4 years ago

I'm terrified of having kids because I don't want to end up mirroring my own mother.
@sophiadavenport3959 5 years ago

toxic parents can destroy your life.
@Booster85 5 years ago

Its sad that the people who are most close to us are the most toxic people in our lives, ive had the lowest lows from family and the highest highs from strangers...messed up
@honkhonk8009 4 years ago

We should have parenting licenses honestly.
@koala728 4 years ago

my father thought my depression was due to Satan, not because he hit my mother senselessly in front of me when i was 7
@Toxxsicklemons 4 years ago

My family acts beautiful and friendly when we have visitors and when no one is here visiting, it’s all screaming and never respecting ones opinions. I’m really tired.
@buithuong2592 3 years ago

Thinking about the fact that only the children who are seeking for helps are watching this, not the parents
@general7190 3 years ago

Some parents just have children because it's something traditional, or because it's a 'blessing' for them. But they don't realise that we have lives too and we have dreams. Some parents are just so selfish.
@brenaxquiny8639 4 years ago

Me : sitting quietly in the sitting room Dad enters Me : Suddenly start getting panic attack
@abuafreed6308 4 years ago

i have toxic parents... i vowed to not do the things they did to me to my children in the future
@rosaindica7896 4 years ago

My parents used me all my life to bring them pride. They just want honour n pride. Never ask how I feel, what I want.....am I to fulfill just their wishes? Nothing of my own?
@anmolchaudhary1002 3 years ago

Parents "you can come to us anytime for anything. We will listen" Reality " Don't be dramatic or stop being a baby"
@saroneaimah8854 3 years ago

I can’t imagine my parents taking a parenting class seriously. As soon as the teacher starts talking about love and support my dad would just roll his eyes and say “I provide food and a home. You should be happy. “ I wonder how many abusive parents would actually want to be a better parent. Mine wouldn’t waste their time.
@asha_vere 4 years ago

My father was/is toxic, and my mom has always just made excuses for him. I'm afraid of having kids because I don't want them to feel the way I did growing up...
@victoriazhu9073 4 years ago

The most hurtful words I heard from my dad was that “If I had known you were going to be like this I would have strangled you to death when you were younger.” “The most hurtful words I heard from my mom was “I wish I never had you.”
@kiritokaiba6854 4 years ago

I hate my parents deep inside. But I pretend I love them, false self.
@starryyynightzzz4691 4 years ago

I’m not even kidding when I say I’m crying right now.
@ArtsyChick24 4 years ago

Don't pressure your child to have the best life. Give them the best life.