Unveiling Sneaky Tactics of Female Narcissists | Lisa A. Romano

I work with a female Narcissist and the best defense is keeping away as much as I can and only speak to her if necessary. But the good news is I'm leaving the small office very soon! Buh Bye 😊

Everything is my fault. For 20 years. All of it…. That messes with a mind… I do believe it. Because she’s successful in her life. She never worries. She seems to be in complete control… she will always win… because she doesn’t care about how she affects others. Even our kids.

Yes. This is me. I started small talk about something with my Narc this morning. She went into a diatribe about how was the research done, and where was the study and all these little triggering, manipulation to make me engage. I just stopped the conversation… I’m more aware now. But yes. I’m always working on what narc needs to be ok. Always. I’m completely brainwashed. There’s no emotional intimacy. Yes I have no worth. My sense of reality is gone. Yes. Trauma bonded completely… 😢 thanks Lisa. You’re my hero. And yes! When I catch her in an “untruth”. Or she’s not getting what she wants. She will tell me she wants to spend time with me… and she’ll sit on her phone as we watch a tv show. If I dare to take out my phone she wants to know EXACTLY what I’m doing on my phone. Forget physical intimacy. I’ve given up. I don’t need to be desired by someone who isn’t mentally stable. I’m not flattered. But a narc doesn’t feel they do anything wrong… I want to be a narc lol! I can’t leave. Have young children. And they’ve expressed that they don’t want me to leave. And narc would make life horrible if I left. Plus, narc is in control of all the money. My life is effectively over. I have freelance work. I have my kids. I’ll have to deal one day. And on my death bed I’ll tell her the truth. But I’m also going to write it all down in detail and send it out to people so they know the truth. She’s just makes it look too good on the outside. She’s in complete control of her life… promotion; doctorate, weight loss (with injections)… she doesn’t spend frivolously, she is organized, she is efficient… but the world has no idea… not even an inkling as to what is like living with her. 😢😢😢😢

Ive been going through this for 14 years. My supposed “high-school sweetheart”. Now we have 2 kids and I dont know how to get out without breaking my kids hearts 😢

Spot on. I experienced a few relationships like this. I lost myself trying to make her happy. However, I didn't know myself in the first place.

It's just so different than actually wanting to deeply know one another and to be known by the other, to deeply connect and to create and brainstorm together. Some how wanting that type of fulfilling relationship makes a narc try to convince you that you're crazy and have too high of expectations. It really distorts reality. But I will not lose hope.

I lived 17 years with a Narc who would always say "we need to get a divorce!" Whenever things didn't go her way or she was upset for something I did. I finally gave her what she wanted.

I deserve the entirety of the blame for the relationships I chose to enter into - even if I was unaware. That being said, I learned that the NPD women I was with were trying to figure out if I had a happy childhood and strong boundaries. Once they learned that I wasn't allowed to have healthy boundaries growing up, I was theirs'! No woman is obligated to act out my mother issues anymore, not even my mother herself. Inadequate was the best she was capable of. She has my love and forgiveness, but not my attention.

ABSOLUTELY 100% RIGHT‼️40 yrs of Utter disrespect publicly humiliating me, pointing out my flaws, clothes, make-up, hair, lies about me, too much to explain. I decided to reach out her... mistake one month & I catch her bad- mouthing me to my Mom - Who, once again, refused to hear my side and hung up the phone on me ! My sister is a "genius" therefore all must listen & agee with her against me because my sister says I am stupid & crazy & a liar etc.... My sister is an evil Narcissist ‼️💔

I just burst out crying of the last 5 minutes of what you said, I’m going thru this right now, my kids are affected by this and it’s PAINNNNNNNNNNN

For as hard it is to understand the situation to understand this video it does make one realize that love isnt what one believes it is

When a female narcissist lies-no one knows it. Not even her. Think about that for a minute...try to explain that to someone else.

Lisa. Dropping the truth bombs up in my morning coffee... Namaste 🙏

Narcissist will ALWAYS get what they want no matter what manipulation tactics they have to use unless you know who and what you're dealing with. Still their aim is to always come out on top. Thanks Lisa! Well said.

I lived it, it’s horrible.

I really thought I loved her. I was trapped in a trauma bond, extremely hurtful

Thank you Lisa!❤❤ I am trying to make better choices and be cognizant of the fact that I am codependent. I’m also looking back at the fact that I was the scapegoat child in my family. My parents have been deceased for a long time. It’s very hard to remember the patterns that I formed so many years ago. Listening to your words makes me realize how much I need to change! Thanks again for your help!

In my case, it’s not the grandiose, but it is the covert/vulnerable type. As I started watching videos from you, Ross, Rebecca Zung, Dr. Ramani, Dr. Phil, others, and reading and learning I think I have been too compassionate and giving for so many years. I was hoping for a better outcome, rose colored glasses, eternal optimism, and when I finally write things all down, I realize I am being exploited and drained by her, and I am accused of not having empathy when in reality the person I’m with lacks empathy. And I am blamed for all things crazy things, verbal and psychological beat downs, gaslighting in order to get me to doubt my own self. It is unhealthy to continue to live like this. Your comments about withholding sex and physical intimacy are spot on. I’m made to feel bad or guilty for being a man or wanting her best feminine traits. It’s like she loves having this wretched power to push you to be or grovel for what should be ‘normal.’ When I found out what gaslighting is, and started reading and watching some videos, I was shocked because they could’ve been videoing us. And your comments about playing the victim are spot on. There is always something wrong, and if you don’t agree, out comes the verbal abuse on you. Thank you Lisa, this really pulls a lot of things in and makes it clear that I’m not crazy and all these bad things are happening on purpose to break me down and scramble my brain and heart.

Oh what pleasant memories 😂. It's thier Lack ! And don't forget it my friends. 👋🏽🙏🏽

Lisa, thank you for sharing your knowledge and insight into how we are impacted by these abusers. Your tone is loving, compassionate, and welcoming - offering victims the very things we were deprived of and are so needed for our healing. Wishing you blessings and offering gratitude for the work you do to help those who spend time listening to these messages heal. ❤❤❤