Stop Worrying About Your Home

I have to be honest. My ADHD brain hates being in a messy environment. I struggle to keep my home clean but my brain is so much calmer when it's tidy.

For the hour that you clean before a guest arrives: Take out the trash, quickly scrub the toilet, clean out the cat box if you have one... Basically focus on getting rid of any offensive odors in your home. Also like you said, make sure your guest has somewhere clean to sit. Leave the "mess" and focus on the filth 😂

So true, and remember, if friends want to see you, come any time. If they want to see your home, make an appointment !😁♥️

I've noticed that it takes about 2 years of weekly contact with someone at church to solidify a friendship. In a group where you meet only once a month it takes concerted involvement outside the group...lunch afterwards, a walk, chatting by the car, "field trips" or getting involved at the group leadership level. Those who just sit and don't participate don't make friends. Ask people, not what they "do," but how they enjoy spending their free time. We are doing a major cleaning right now and changing around the bedrooms. A former neighbor dropped by in the midst of the chaos, with mattresses and tons of boxes overflowing the front room but I invited her in and we had a wonderful 2 hour conversation and I know we will see each other again soon. She is a childless widow with a sparkling clean house, but she said she loves my house because it's "homey" despite the mess she usually encounters when she drops by! And I'm so glad I've always let her in despite whatever messy projects we are in the midst of. ❤

I used to think I couldn't have anyone over (CHAOS) until a friend from church invited my family over... and their house wasn't perfect. I was SO thankful that she showed me that it's ok to have a messy house, but still be hospitable. 🥰

I was a SAHM and homeschooled. When my daughter started driving and didn’t need me as much, I became isolated and my anxiety went through the roof. My issue is not about a clean house, I’m an introvert and it’s hard to put myself out there. A couple of years ago, I got a part time job, and that gives me some connection. It helps a lot to find community somewhere and make friends that way.

I made a new friend last year when a woman wrote in the local "give away for free" group that she wants to meet other moms with babies of the same age to have walks together. I was the only one who responded😅 and it turns out we have a lot of shared interests. I love talking to her.

I had it together. But I forgot where I put it. 😉

I have a tip for all parents, as a parent myself. Kids DON'T need a lot of clothes. They don't need a lot of toys out at once. Just having a limited amount of things limits how much they can mess up the house. Also: teach them good habits. Someone once said that you don't want to raise your kids in such a way that you end up disliking them. No eating on the sofa. Change into clean clothes after they've been outside (our ONE YEAR OLD even knew how to do that). Done with a toy? Put it away before taking a new one. Etc

One of my favorite videos of yours ever. This is much needed as a reminder, thank you. About a year ago I started not completely cleaning my house up before my friends came over. As moms, we need to see other's messy kid-filled homes.

Oof needed to hear this. My social life has suffered directly because I can't bring myself to invite people over to my messy house. Thank you for your inspiring words, they really hit home today. One thing that stood out to me is when you talked about being okay with rejection. When i was dating i had to become ok with rejection and put myself out there, learn to not give a crap in a good way. Im married and now I look back and say "knowing all i learned from the start would have been nice!" But i feel silly because i need to apply what i learned to FRIENDSHIPS!

I am old so life is different, but when my kids were in sports, parents would talk. Now when I attend my grandkid’s events, other parents are on their phones, so it’s harder to connect

I have a good friend who has said to me multiple times, "If you 'clean up' for me, you'll hurt my feelings." Thank God for her, honestly.

It's hard enough to raise our kids without it being a competition!

Dana K. White brought up the idea in one of her podcasts that we all just need a place to "be". I remember feeling the most welcome in a home that was messy, but they invited me in, got comfortable themselves, and focused on connecting with me, not making apologies or excuses for the state of their home. Since then, I have tried to relax my "company" standards more, and I've had friends tell me later that it helped them to relax and feel like they could invite people over too, even though their house house wasn't perfect.

I am 55 now, but when I was younger and my kids were young, I lived in a very middle class neighborhood. All the moms were close on our cul-de-sac, watching the kids play every evening as we brought out our lawn chairs and blocked off the street. Some worked, some didn’t, but we all would randomly drop in to visit. No judgement! It was very nice!!

‘Dont be someone even you cant relate to’ haha so guilty of this when people come over and im after spending the whole day cleaning things ive been ignoring for months🤣🤣

Amen! I raised my family in the pre social media era and this is what we did. Always. Some people were neater than others, but no one was uptight about it and we thrived for it.

This video made me cry. I'm an older woman ( older than dirt). I live alone, my children are grown. I have a good relationship with them, but my good friends are either moved away or have died. It is sad to have lost friends that know you so well and difficult to make new ones in this age of texting and overwhelm. Not just for older people, but the young ones that feel that they have to keep up with the Joneses.

I know I need to hear this, not to be less clean, but to not be too hard on myself. I do need it clean and not messy around me because I feel distracted and stressed when it’s messy around me. I don’t relax in my own home if it’s messy.