The Hidden Cost Of Being A Deep Thinker - Jordan Peterson

Watch the full episode with Jordan here - https://youtu.be/laSK7Pxh0_8

"I've never met an intelligent person who wasn't troubled." It comes with the burden of thought. The more you think, the deeper you go. Lots of beauty to unlock. But also a lot of pain.

I became happy when I realized my lack of friendships had more to do with my own disinterest than my perceived sense of rejection.

The amount of deep thinkers in the comment section that feel the same level of loneliness brings me to tears. I never knew why I feel lonely but it seems like this is a good place to start.

The deeper you think the harder it is to find people to relate to and converse with. Very few people are curious about life and the world around them and do not value understanding what they do not have to. I think our culture and society beats that curiosity out of people at a young age.

If you think deeply, you will learn things others don't know, reach conclusions they don't understand, and develop a worldview they don't share.

I wish I had friends who loved to discuss ideas. I am constantly analyzing everything that is going on around me and trying to understand why people are the way that they are, what is contributing to our current culture and where it is going- but I have no one to really talk to it about. Except maybe my dad. He’s brilliant. But anyway… it is lonely. I wish there were more people who loved to grapple with ideas around me.

“I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly. I perceive that this, too, was vexation of spirit; for in much wisdom, there is much grief, and he that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.”

For this I am so grateful for my wife. Even if sometimes she finds deep thoughts tiresome, she always listens, understands what I'm saying and replies. After ten years of sharing my deepest thoughts and concerns with someone, I can say that I fully enjoyed the experience of sharing meaningful ideas and conversations with someone and no longer seek the listening from "aqueitances". In my younger years not having someone to really talk to felt very lonely indeed.

It explains why no matter how many people I hang out with I still feel lonely. I’m not able to express my mind often as these people can’t take it seriously or simply don’t understand it. That’s when the loneliness hits.

It’s important to realize that Jordan Peterson is also at the top of his field therefor he is always surrounded by those like minded. Normal average citizens are surrounded by significantly less like-minded individuals and it is absolutely a lonelier lifestyle. There are much less deep thinkers at the bottom where we are, than at the top.

I’ve been known to be an extroverted type, but deep down I’ve always been a deep thinker for as long as I can remember. Friends have often said I’m an old soul, that I think too much, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. Trying to understand the deeper meaning behind events in my life, why certain situations happened, and how did it all affect up to the present moment. I’ve often said I don’t see my life in a linear pattern, but more like a web of connections . It can be hard to build truly deep and meaningful bonds, but they’re amazing when they do happen.

I love the way Jordan Peterson structures his ideas in a clear and straight fashion, showing a deep understanding of what he's talking about. in my opinion he's one of the best communicators in the world.

I believe what sets us apart is that some people are truth seekers (deep thinkers) and others are not. Going with the flow is a lot easier than being honest with yourself.

i can relate to deep thinking. especially nowadays, i find myself bored with most conversations with people. i would like to talk in depth with topics but it's hard finding such people when most people you're around are in the superficial end of the pool. so it does become quite lonely sometimes, until you find the right people to be with. being a deep thinker is both a blessing and a curse, though i find more of a blessing. even if you have to make sacrifices in terms of being included in other social groups.

‘IT IS BOTH A BLESSING AND A CURSE TO THINK & FEEL EVERYTHING SO DEEPLY.’ 👁

It’s great to see a community of like-minded deep thinkers in the comment section. I’ve grown up quite shy and quiet, who had trouble making friends and ended up being alone most of the time. I noticed that I had social anxiety during my teenage and young adult years. Then in my mid-20s, I started coming to the conclusion that my self-awareness and deep thinking made me get used to being alone. Solitude had always been an option for me but at the same time I know personal connection with people other than my family at home is what I secretly wished I had. Anyhow, as long as your content with being in solitude and able to make an effort to share your own thoughts with others, even when they might not share the same thinking/energy as you, at least they’ll understand you as a person and learn from you as a result. Empathy and compassion for others is also a must as giving even a shred of insight can make a large revelation for someone else.

I grew up dirt poor in a trailer park and in a family where no one made it out of high school. I also dropped out of high school in grade 11 and became a traveling musician for almost 15 years. At some point in that adventure I married an amazing woman. She saw so much more potential in me than I saw in myself, and she convinced me to take a stab at learning whatever I found interesting. So, I spent around 2 years reading and learning a programming language (Java) until I felt prepared to take a certification exam. I borrowed the $300, took the test, and I passed it. Fast forward almost 15 more years, and I'm now a Solutions Architect making a very comfortable living. Along the way, I gained more and more confidence in my ability to just learn whatever I found interesting. The thing I noticed is... the more I learned, the fewer friends I had... until eventually only 1 was left out of an initial 30 or so. I feel incredibly lonely because of it. If not for my wife, I think I would have just fallen back into my meaningless, destructive existence I had suffered with before. It's a really bizarre feeling... to gain self-confidence but at the price of companionship. At 41 now, its pretty hard to make new friends. So, for me, it's a very real reality that thinking more deeply; improving my mind and learning more and more... has left me smarter, but lonelier.

Well. When you spend more time thinking deep, you spend less time with people so it’s possible. A small sacrifice to avoid casual conversation that is boring. Most people can’t have deep conversations without becoming emotional and offended so we just talk about the weather and gossip about others. So inspiring.

As an INFJ I rarely feel alone, I enjoy the solitude. Being alone with my thoughts, exploring great depths and interests is something I enjoy. My parents did a great job with us, we were told we could do anything but we’d have to work for it, have standards, be disciplined and keep learning. We watched my dad build companies from the ground up and be successful. There were failures but he’s never quit.