TONY STARK & PTSD: Psychology of a Hero in IRON MAN

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honestly tony stark was one of the only characters with that kind of personality in action movies that showed realistic symptoms of ptsd and anxiety (like that panic attack) and oh boy, iron man 3 really hits hard on that domain

"PTSD occurs when you think your world is safe, and then you realize it's not." - as someone who has suffered from PTSD this line really struck me. Ironman is my favorite superhero, love that you guys are doing this series.

Tony grabbing the snow during his PTSD episode is actually a real coping mechanism! It's grounding, using your senses to bring you back to reality and remind you the PTSD/anxiety attack isn't real

I really wish more people paid attention to the fact that Tony didn't actually start dating Pepper until after she was CEO and no longer his employee. He always thought of her as an equal but there was no question of a power imbalance in their relationship, which is so important.

Deep down, I do think that Tony never truly left the cave, emotionally and mentally. We never see him whole and healed from that traumatic experience, leaving him leaping from one suit and 'not a great plan' to another. And that makes his tragedy even worse.

I honestly think what makes Tony's relationship with Pepper work is Pepper. Even before they became romantic, Tony knew that he could trust Pepper with anything. Then as he evolved into a better person, she forgave who he used to be, and was able to trust him back more and more over time. Not every partner is willing to go through all that.

Tony Stark not only accepted that he was going to die, he also realised that it wasn't going to be enough, not even death would save the people he loved.

I think the reason the kid saying "you're a mechanic, right?" helps tony calm down almost instantly is because that's always been his happy place and how he escapes hard things. It's how he gains control. The kid basically took him from a place where he feels he has no control and reminded him that he does have some control and I think that can be super calming

4:45 "You're going to kill yourself, Tony, and I'm not going to be a part of it." It took 22 movies, but Tony literally killed himself. To protect the people. And Pepper was absolutely part of it. Aaaaand now I'm crying.

Tony was my favourite MCU character. His characterisation and personal growth and visible mental health issues all made me love his character.

I'd argue that Tony's been dealing with PTSD since he got out of the cave. Everything he's done since has been on his own terms 100%, he was seizing control and he was protecting himself as much as possible. But the nuke/wormhole/sudden unexpected alien invasion combo was on a whole other level.

21:37 "The wheezes are so realistic" Yes! Little detail that impressed me. As someone who has asthma and panic attacks, it was surprisingly...comforting?...to see a panic attack in a movie that didn't sound like an asthma attack. At least for me, they are very different.

As someone with chronic PTSD, sometimes I can be "triggered" out of an episode with a word or an action. The PTSD isn't cured, but the panic attack will end.

Pepper was the first consistent person in Tony's life, most likely since his mother. Tony was afraid of commitment because commitment implicitly comes with the risk of loss. Pepper persistently showed Tony love and compassion that he had been avoiding. He was only able to experience it because his guard was down due to her job title, but Pepper cared about Tony beyond her job due to her compassion and humanity. Pepper was the first person Tony felt he needed since his defense mechanisms were established. He couldn't help but fall for Pepper because he got a taste of the one thing he needed, and for that reason, he couldn't lose it, and more importantly, her.

Tony Stark’s character isn’t a narcissist—he is behaving narcissistically. People with NPD do not feel remorse for their behaviour, nor do they change to become genuinely altruistic.

One scene I think they missed in this was the scene where he throws himself into his work. He's got the PTSD and the insomnia so to cope he builds suit after suit after suit. I think it's a fascinating coping mechanism and so in line with Tony's character. He's already handed off management of the company and the title of CEO to Pepper so all he has left is his personal lab and his suit building. Ironically, some of his best innovations for his suits come out of it but the cost to his psyche, relationship with Pepper and physical health is super high.

Iron Man 3 was not well received (even I admit it’s not in my top list of MCU films) but one article I read really angered me, because the reviewer, who if I recall correctly, admitted to not being a therapist, but said something along the lines of “that’s not how PTSD works.” As someone who is not a therapist but does suffer from PTSD, the way RDJ acted out his panic attacks was very similar to the way mine would hit me at times, most often without warning. So yeah, that is in fact, how PTSD can “work.”

I remember my first meeting with a therapist. She asked me about my childhood and I said it was better than some and worse than others. Several months later the point finally hit home. Trauma is trauma. It is not a competition. Get help. It is worth it.

I would argue the point with “snapping out” of an anxiety attack. My husband for example will sometimes say the wrong things and I’ll latch onto it and it makes it worse when he’s just trying to help and I react how Tony did in the first scene. Then there are times when he just sits with me, rubs my back and says “you can do it, just breathe and count the books on the wall, you’re stronger than whatever made you panic, it’s okay.” And I feel stronger and I feel like I can claw my way out so much more quickly. And for me it has happened - only twice, granted - that I was able to snap out of it within a few seconds