Uh, Rowling Why Does Slytherin Still Exist?

* locks eyes with you at a hot topic * You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?

Ah yes, the 4 harry potter houses protagonist, antagonist, exposition, and yellow

"It's a boy!" "I shall name him Albus Severus George Hagrid Sirius Fred Dobby Ron Whomping Remus Draco Potter" "No."

I think the worst thing Rowling did to the Slytherins is that before the battle of Hogwarts when McGonagall said that whoever wanted to could stay and fight not a SINGLE Slytherin stayed to fight for the school

the idea that the sorting hat senses the racism in an 8 year olds soul and is like "imma make this kid a straight up klansman by year 3. Slytherin ya go" is sending me

Jk Rowling be like the founders of the Hogwarts houses are "Merida from brave", "Albert Einstein", "some guy we found on the street" and "HITLER"

My theory: Slytherins just adapt to the spooky green lights of the dungeons, so the bright sunlit halls of the rest of the castle just make their eyes hurt and put them in a shitty mood.

Every "Which house are you" quiz in a nutshell Question: You see a small boy that has just been robbed by bullies. What do you do? A: Bravely and Courageously stand up to the bullies and take back what was stolen B: Compassionately and kindly speak to the boy and take him to a proper authority figure to get the problem solved C: smartly and cleverly teach the boy a smart and clever spell that will let him get his toy back D: Snake snake devil snake, Wicked Wicked Evil Wicked, Devil Snake Snake, DAAARK LOOOOOORD!

I like how the movies made Snape out to be more of a strict teacher who’s detached themselves emotionally to avoid feeling the pain of losing someone they loved ever again. It also helps in the movie version he asks for Dumbledore to hide all the Potters, not just Lilly. In the movies Neville’s fear of Snape comes across as more comedic. While with the books it’s awful. Book Snape came off as someone who enjoyed tormenting students. Movie Snape came off as someone with a cold attitude that came off as rude. We also see movie Snape go out of his way to protect Harry, Hermione, and Ron in “Prisoner of Azkaban” showing that he does genuinely care about his students and its not just about Lilly. Also being played by Alan Rickman helped.

“Gryffindor, smart, yellow, evil” Ah yes, the only four personality traits

The Four Hogwarts Houses: Protagonists Racists Irrelevant So irrelevant that it doubles back into being relevant because we all talk about how irrelevant it is.

My head cannon for why Crabbe and Goyle were in Slytherin despite not being cunning is that they were actually incredibly smart and just pretending to be stupid so that they could get away with more.

The thing is, most good traits have bad traits associated with them. The houses would have been much more interesting if they explored them that way. Gryffindor - Brave, chivalrous, honest, and idealistic. But also proud, stubborn, disruptive, and reactive. Hufflepuff - Patient, loyal, fair, and accepting. But also easily fooled, sensitive, doubting, and passive. Ravenclaw - Intelligent, perceptive, introspective, and creative. But also absent-minded, cynical, idle, and aloof. Slytherin - Ambitious, innovative, adaptable, and bold. But also self-centered, conniving, vain, and obsessive. I tend to think of the houses this way anyways, even though it's abundantly clear Rowling didn't really write them nearly so nuanced. Nor was even terribly interested in writing them so nuanced. Maybe to retcon them to be that way if she thought it would sell more stuff, but thems the breaks.

Imagine being an 11 year old who asked the hat to put you in Slytherin just because you thought snakes were cool, or liked the color green.

Ah, yes. The 4 houses: Jock (who can do no wrong) Nerd, Doormat, and Racist

Honestly I think it could've been a really great moment if, in that big final battle, voldemort was all "alright slytherins you guys are gonna back me up here, right?" and then gets betrayed by them, not necessarily on grounds of them being good people who have a change of heart, but rather because a bunch of them go "why the hell should I listen to you?" And ask themselves what kind of ambitious, cunning slytherin is pathetic enough to jump at the chance to be a mere lackey to some bald guy.

Also I just want to point out the founder of Slytherin literally tortured non-pure bloods in a secret death chamber where he kept his murder snake.

Remember how bewildered Harry was when he realized in the 4th book that other wizarding schools didn't have houses? Why did the books not explore that further?

One comment my mom had about the series always stuck in my mind: Why wasn't Dumbledore a Slytherin? He is resourceful, ambitious and definitely excels at leadership, and these qualities made him one of the most successful and revered wizard in the wizarding world -- he is kind of exactly whom a Slytherin student would aspire to be. If Dumbledore had been revealed to be in Slytherin, all those disturbed little snakes would have been granted a balancing figure. Imagine growing up knowing that "Every wizard that has turned to the dark side has been from Slytherin," from the house you're now in, yet if Dumbledore had also been a proud Slytherin alumni it would have given a counterweight, a wizard to look up to that came from your house: Yes, every dark wizard has come from Slytherin, but some of the greatest ones came too. I feel like this might have been the purpose of adding Merlin to Slytherin, but it would have been a much greater move to add Dumbledore since he's an actual character.

I think part of the reason that Snape is so hilariously mishandled is that the series started out as a whimsical British children's novel in the spirit of Roald Dahl, where it is customary to have hilariously cruel adult figures and nobody really bats an eye at it. Then, later, when the story becomes more complex, we have to reconcile the caricatures that made sense within that old setting with an entirely new setting in which adults have realistic motivations and personalities.