The Horrors Of McDonalds Playplace

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I once got nervous and pooped inside one of the PlayPlace tunnels, and thanks to some kids rushing up I had to scurry along in order to save face and pretend it wasn’t me. Well, ended up getting it all over my knees and tracking it down the slide, which the kids then went down. I felt so bad. And my wife was pretty upset with me.

My little brother cracked his head open at a McDonald's playpen when he was about 4 years old by climbing over the safety fence and crawling on top of the tube slide. He slid off, smacked his head on the brick ledge below, and was bleeding profusely on the ground. Not to say the restaurant didn't have enough safety measures in place, but one must never underestimate a kid's determination to try and kill themselves in any way they can because their little brains are screaming at them "wouldn't it be cool if you did a backflip off the roof and landed in that trashcan?"

Past McDonalds: Amazing Colorful Wonderland Current McDonalds: Grey Corporate Depression

My little sister was playing one time in a McD Playplace. She was like four or five and was in this open concept-ish crawlspace (sorry I can’t describe it better, boxy thing) that wrapped around itself. Upon reaching the top and looking out, she froze stiff and completely peed herself. I remember hearing one kid yell “Hey, it’s raining!” followed by a silent realization of the smell, and shrieking panicked children. And that was how we found out my baby sister has a fear of heights.

My first job was at McDonald's. We used to have families that would be at the restaurant for HOURS. They'd show up, eat lunch. Let the kids play for two hours while they talked or maybe worked on their laptops. They'd order more snacks. Play some more. Order more meals. Play some more. Talk some more. And then get ice cream and go home.

Australia still has them at Mcdonalds everywhere. The best is the kids playgrounds at pubs, where you can dump the kids and get drunk.

I never shit or pissed in the tubes I always went in the bathroom like a civilized human.... then scooped it out of the toilet and walked it to the play place where I'd then smear it all over the inside of the tube, but to shit INSIDE the tube?!?! I'm not a savage!

Hunters impression of a toddler was scarily accurate 😭

My first job was McDonald's. Some kid shit all in the tubes and my manager asked me to clean it. I just went ahead and went home. Got a new job the next day lol

For people curious. The reason the old ads from the 60s (8:41) are so oddly paces and creepy is because its a style of "editing" called "in camera" editing. Back in the day film was expencive so to save on costs they would use as little film as possible, only filming parts that were going to be in the final product. The filmographer would start and stop the film camera with breaks in-between to give directions and practice runs. sometimes they just had to use what they filmed (like the kid just stairing being weird) Also him probably being an inexperienced filmographer didnt help the end product

This is insanely serendipitous, I was an Amazon Driver at the start of last year and delivered all over DFW. I pulled into a less suburban area, and had to deliver packages. It was dark af outside and barely any light sources out there. I pulled up to one house to deliver the packages and saw some disturbing shapes in the darkness. When I used my flashlight to check them out, it was ALL MCDONALD’S PLAYLAND EQUIPMENT! I still have a picture of the personal Officer Big Mac cage thing I encountered

I remember climbing in a Officer BigMac cage, and some kid had left his collection of TMNT comics behind, which I happily took home. Greatest moment of my life.

I have a scar up my back from a loose bolt on one of those tube slides. No lawsuit because my mom hates confrontation (and we had military insurance) but I remember watching an employee dump a mcdonalds cup of water down the slide to rinse off the blood and kids kept on playing... The 90s were a magical time.

shoutout to that one kid i met in a McDonalds play place when i was like 7. Man we instantly hit it off and were best buds for that 30 minutes of playtime, only to never see each other again. Hope your living your best life buddy 🫡

My aunt broke her collar bone falling off the monkey bars at a McDonald's Play Place. They used to just be playgrounds with hamburgers on them before they became the maze of plastic tubes we remember. I loved when they setup the N64s and GameCubes in the lobby. That was a fun way to kill time after school. Especially because I was really good at the spinning donation thingy where you could win a dollar menu item if you got it to the bottom rung.

My dad worked in the McDonald’s corporate world and he used to drag me around when he’d go do his business at different stores across the state. He would literally just abandon me in the play place for hours lol. It was so nasty and I’m surprised I didn’t contract some deadly illness. If there wasn’t a play place I was just left at a table. I think the staff noticed I was just ditched and I remember a few specific workers who would bring me snacks and hang out with me on their breaks. So shoutout to them tho

About a decade ago, my cousins wouldn’t come out of the playplace, so my uncle went climbing up after them. He fell straight through from the top layer. Apparently it wasn’t exactly rated for 300+lb grown ass men. It never reopened.

In Finland the playplaces(and playgrounds in general) were considered BY LAW to be "In parents' consideration if their kid is too stupid to use the playground or not". People tried to sue of course when their Little Timmy "nutty putted" itself inside the playplace, but most of the time the courts used the logic of "If the city provides a beach, is it the city's fault if you did not teach your kid to swim?", highlighting the parents' responsibility for their childrens' safety.

11:20 that really seems like a Goosebumps premise. 1 Kid finds this playground. All the stationary statues conversing with the kid. Kid doesn't notice how desolate the place is because he's having so much fun Kid falls into a trance of never ending playground "fun". IIRC there is an episode similar to that but still. 18:08 When I was in like 1st grade I got stuck in one of those metal spiral things that you slide down like a fire pole. I also got my finger stuck in a wall at a rest stop around that time. It was one of those walls made up of a bunch of rocks cemented together. Somehow my dumbass stuck my finger in the exact spot to cause the rocks to shift. The only adult with me was my like 70 year old great grandma. Eventually I was able to shake free.