A Panic Attack Ended My Winter Backpacking Trip

Hiking and backpacking almost always help with my mental health - but as this video shows, sometimes even the usual stuff doesn't work, and it's okay to change plans. 💚If you are dealing with anxiety, depression, or any other mental health stuff, you aren't alone. Big love to all of you!!

As a current therapist treating teens with anxiety, depression and self harm, thank you to the moon and back for normalizing we can experience intensity AND we can take care of ourselves. I appreciate you being vulnerable and honest with your audience. You were inspiring before and even more so, now. Many hugs!!

Thank you, Miranda. As a retired Army nurse, I struggle with PTSD, anxiety and depression. The outdoors is my sanctuary, but sometimes it can also trigger my anxiety. Knowing when to practice self-care and take a knee is difficult, but it is also very crucial. Thank you for sharing your story. You are not alone.

First off: Rainer, we see you! We know you’re not just a voice behind the camera! You’re an integral part to this channel, and whenever we see Miranda, we’re doing so through your eyes, so to speak. Second: Miranda, thank you for having the courage to share this with us. I’ve been dealing with anxiety & ADD (both undiagnosed for first 40+ years of my life), and I know what it’s like just not be able get your brain to tell your hands what they need to do. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to do what you need to do take care of yourself. And I’m glad Ranier was there with you. Thank you for being honest with yourself and us. Lastly: man, I wouldn’t be able to go out in the cold like that. Not. At. All. Forever impressed by the people who can do that 😊. Love to you both, B.

Bless you, Rainer.

There's nothing wrong with bailing if you need to. If you're not enjoying yourself, or you don't feel safe, definitely don't feel like you need to stay or try to tough it out. Nobody should feel they need to stay out another night just to prove something.

This is weirdly probably my favorite video of yours. This is so much more real, about the outdoors and why we go there, than basically any other YouTube channel. Thank you. One of the main reasons I go outdoors is for my mental health and happiness. Winter camping is really stressful due to how dangerous it is, any one who would scoff at you is clueless to that reality. Thanks again for your honesty and genuine self. I’m sure it will help others recognize and be more aware to “listen to their bodies”.

I've only dabbled in (short) backpacking trips, but I usually go by myself. One thing I've discovered is that as the sun starts to go down, I get a really intense feeling of unhappiness. This doesn't happen outside of camping, and it doesn't happen when I'm camping with someone else. I'm not scared of being alone, and I go camping specifically to enjoy some introverted alone time, so it's not loneliness...but the unhappiness hits anyway. Once it's fully dark, then I'm over that unhappy moment and I can putter around with my headlamp, preparing for bed, and contentedly reading in my tent for hours. It's just that "sundowning" time period that does it. I now KNOW that it's happening, but it doesn't make it any easier. It's especially tough when (like in this video) I have some anxiety about my camp site and it feels like dark is coming on fast. The last time I went camping was a hike up onto some land that we were considering buying. I'd only been there once before, and wasn't sure exactly where I was going to camp. When the "dusk depression" hit, I could at least recognize it and remind myself that it would pass. I try to bring some kind of candy that really packs a punch (like Sour Patch Kids), so that I have a more intense sensation to distract myself during that window of gloom. So far I've only called it quits on one trip, when I packed out after one night instead of my planned two, but there were some other factors (like my new headlamp turned out to be crap and my cheap newbie sleeping pad suddenly sprung a leak) that made me feel like my 2nd night was going to be even more unhappy. That trip was also before I recognized that I experience that sundowning depression, so I didn't know what was going on with me. Anyway, THANK YOU for being open about mental illness and sharing this video, so that we know that even very experienced campers campers can struggle.

Yesssss these are the most important hiking videos! We have enough of the “ultralight on an unlimited budget with no time restriction” videos. Hiking isn’t exclusively about covering yourself in dirt and walking until your toenails fall off. It’s whatever you make it. Life happens. Hike your hike. Help a friend. Live to fight another day. Thank you Miranda and Rainer!

Whoah! Just realised - that time when I stopped in a middle of a hike and asked myself «why am I here?» and didn’t manage to go on, I wasn’t being lazy! I have pushed it down as a failed trip, when me turning around was actually me listening to myself saying «hey - go home and rest!» Thanks, Miranda!

As a retired mental health professional I want to say Thank You! When well known individuals admit to mental health issues it makes it OK for others to seek help. Great job!

I just watched this with my 12.5 year old daughter who has difficulty with overnights. We both were glad you made the right choice for yourself. My daughter said she could really relate, and I could too. Thank you for sharing this.

Thank you for being this open and honest. Not many youtubers upload video's that aren't 'perfect'. Going out there and getting back early, is better then not going out at all. Living with mental health problems sucks. Especially when you can't see it from the outside. I hope how this trip ended doesn't discourage you in any way to get out there again. You are awesome Miranda.

This is the most important & hiking video ever made. People all over the world have similar experiences like this every day. But they think they’re alone in it because others aren’t brave enough to show what it’s like when things don’t go to plan. You two are amazing!!

Thank you Rainer for treating Miranda's panic attack with care and keeping it non-judgmental. Part of panic and anxiety is worrying about how other people with perceive us.

Knowing when to turn back might be more important than pushing on. I wish more ppl listened to their bodies. There'd be a lot less tragedies if they did. Too many YouTubers push the bounds of safety and it bothers me. I look forward to your next adventure. Thanks for sharing 👍

Thank you for being so open and honest, Miranda! You’re incredible, and such an inspiration.

I didn’t expect to be wiping tears out of my eyes at the end of a Miranda video… thank you so much for sharing all of yourself with us- we just respect you more! And Rainer, you’re a great friend…

Honestly, what an amazing person Rainer is. Awesome to have that excellent support!! Thanks for sharing this with us, Miranda ❤ I always appreciate the realness and authenticity we get from you guys. I also love that Tucker seemed like he knew you needed a cuddle at the end 🥺

I don't even have panic attacks, and watching you snowshoe while pulling the sled and desperately searching for a campsite on a deadline made me feel like one was coming on. I'm so glad you were able to go home and care for yourself.