Not Attracted to My Wife After Her Weight Gain (What Can I Do?)

My wife gained a fair bit over 20 years. I think she's lovely. I forget to tell her I think that sometimes, and I'm going to do that right now.

This guy must be careful of what he wishes for. His wife may lose weight and gain the self confidence to leave him.

26 years deep in marriage here, my wife has gained weight, lost weight, had six kids, has dealt with stretch, marks, and body size changes, all sorts of up-and-down. She has never once not looked appealing, sexy or amazing to me. Now she’s dealt with her own issues of feeling insecure about her body, but as the man who married her as the man who loves her forever, she is divine. Her body is angelic at every size, and every shape this sad man has not put on his marriage glasses. He also hasn’t put on his big boy pants.

I gained a lot of weight. 70 kgs to be precise. 2 years ago I lost it all. The other day I asked my husband, 'did you feel embarrassed of me when I was big.' Do you know what he said? He said 'Never. I was so proud of you and I wanted everyone to know you were my wife. I was so proud I could burst.'

I was in the hospital giving birth to our son and hadn't eaten in 36 hours. 2 hours after he was born the nurse offered me hospital food and my husband told me that "i waited until after he was born to tell you, but your weight has become a problem for me. It's time you really focus on losing some weight." My son was 2 hours old. The epidural hadn't even worn off. I cried for hours after that and he had no idea why I was so upset. I never felt the same after that.

I had five kids in six years and was told my body was disgusting. I weighed 125 at 5’5” and ran a half marathon when my youngest was four. So I dropped 180 lbs all at once with a divorce. 😂

I’m concerned that he hasn’t once said he loves her no matter what.

I used to work as a membership salesperson at a gym. This would happen all the time, a family comes in, they have kids and he works full time, maybe she does too, she takes care of the kids and their things, the home, super mom. They wanna get into shape together, they sign up for a membership and dad comes in a few times a week but mom barely gets in a few times a month because we don’t have babysitting hours when she’s off work, it’s during day time hours for the stay at home moms. The husband complains he spent all this money to get her a membership and she doesn’t do it. You didn’t manifest more time, or energy, or convenience for her! If anything you lessened it because you’ve been coming in to play basketball after work, more time she has to take care of everything. You didn’t make her life easier, you gave her another burden, another task she has to neglect and feel bad over because she still has the same work load! If you want her to look different, her life has to look different, you can’t just give her another thing to do.

That is one of my worst fears: risking your life to give a man children, only for him to be mad that your body never snapped back, and makes no effort to lighten the load so you can take care of yourself. Good call, Delony. I think you offered compassion and accountability.

My wife has given me 5 wonderful children and gained 60 pounds since we were married. She’s absolutely beautiful and still makes my heart race. I look at the sacrifices she made with her body to give us children with great admiration.

Speaking from experience, she definitely KNOWS that he feels this way.

The way John slowly made him realize that it was about him not her was pretty master class.

Imagine being his wife and hearing this online.

My husband had a catastrophic car accident that left him paralyzed. He was 5" 10" and 120 pounds when we married. He never, ever looked bad to me even after 49 years of marriage and terminal cancer. You don't just love a BODY. You love the whole person.

I’m single and dudes like this make me happy to be that way.

That man is the only extra weight she’s carrying

My husband wanted me to lose weight and I told him that he had to gain muscle. It was only fair.

My ex husband called me saggy after giving birth. I was 120lbs. Some men just aren't happy and they look for excuses to cheat. I was lifting weights and working out 1 hr a day to try to appease him and nothing worked because it was all in his head. Men I date now say I have the body if a 20 yr old and I'm 43. I've always had a nice body. It's not you ladies, it's the douche you are with.

This is why I'm single. I don't want to only be valued when my body is in top condition. I'm a real person with real feelings.

I was 44, with a bit of cellulite on my thighs, 143 lbs, 5'7", when my dearest told be that he does not desire me anymore, that I have to do something about it to regain my body from 24 years previous. My response was: well honey, none of us is getting any younger, we are both heading in the same direction... ageing, but if you want a younger body in bed you need to trade me in for a younger model and our marriage is done". I was working full time, three kids in high school so no I had no energy for fittness classes. He never mentioned my lack of looks ever again. I guess he knew that I was serious and would end this marriage pretty damn quick.