These DOOM Cheaters Were Caught Red Handed
3,718,742
Published 2019-11-25
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Doom speedrunning has the longest history of all. Numerous people have tried, and failed, to pass off a cheated run as legitimate. It's harder than you might think.
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All Comments (21)
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"I have little free time" >writes a thesis in a forum post
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"I have little free time" >Writes a Harry Potter novel long statement
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How would you react if you where caught cheating a) Admit Defeat b) Go Down 'Kicking And Screaming' c) Play The Fool / Completely Ignore The Accusation d) Summon The Ghost Of Shakespeare Himself To Defend You
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Forum Mods: "Dude...it looks like you're cheating" K: "A plague on both your houses!!"
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"You humour me greatly with your arrogance and contempt" is my new stock phrase for arguments online. Pure gold right there.
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Her: Babe, can you take out the trash? Me: You humor me greatly with your arrogance and contempt.
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"Player K" really turned into a rambling psuedo-intellectual anime antagonist when he got caught cheating
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Funny how Player K doesn’t have a lot of time to play doom,but has time to write a Renaissance era letter trying to challenge the character of one of the worlds best Doom speedrunners who has no reason to lie.
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"I didn't cheat, now I must go, my planet needs me."
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“Someone accused me of cheating, time to have the monks write me a response.”
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Girlfriend: "I'm pregnant!" Player K: "I feel both disappointment and flattery."
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K: “I have little free time” Also K: writes a 7000 word essay about how he didn’t cheat Seems legit
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"I'm not going to address anything you said, but you're wrong." Solid argument.
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"I don't have time!" Proceeds to make a wall of text
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“K’s response was actually pretty typical for confirmed cheaters. He attacked Zeromaster’s character, and accused him of being jealous...he dodged the actual grievances that are laid out, and didn’t attempt to explain the anomalies at all.” Jesus the resemblance to Dream’s recent response is actually uncanny.
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How can they know whether or not it’s real if there’s no face cam to record whether or not they’re drinking coke and eating pizza?
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K's post is the funniest thing I've read in a long time -- my new favourite copypasta. Great video!
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Imagine playing Doom in slow motion just to get credibility on a dial-up internet forum.
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The fact that K goes full pseudo-Shakespeare but doesn't actually know how to use commas, misses them all the time, and comma splices all the way through is so funny to me. Fucking amazing.
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This makes me want to submit speedruns where I beat the world record by 1 second. People then play the demo or video and see that I noclipped straight to the exit but didn't know exactly where the exit was.
