Can people CHANGE?: understanding radical transformation

As a psychologist, I'm often asked the question as to whether people can change. And since people are always in a constant state of change, I take this question to mean: "is radical personality transformation possible?" And my answer is: yes! However, it is typically only possible once people hit bottom. In today's episode, I make the case that my favorite musical, "Les Miserables," is actually a protracted examination of this question. Is Valjean's transformation legitimate, or will he forever be Javert's escaped convict, 24601? Let's take a look. "Valjean's Soliloquy": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJx1pRCey78 "The Confrontation": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jfRE_FljrE "Stars": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfoJEYicu7c "Javert's Suicide": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsZdfna1LKA Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com/ Orion's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrXBzQ2HDEQ Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com/ GRE Bites: youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: youtube.com/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw/join Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sponsor an episode: oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com/ Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #lesmiserables #transformation

As for men, usually two events can trigger a massive personality change, apart from a near-death experience: losing a fist fight and getting their heart broken.

There is no Saint without a past and no Sinner without a future

People only change when they have to and on their time. Do NOT ever place your happiness or well-being in the hands of someone else's ability to change for the better.

Either hitting rock bottom or simply taking responsibility. Anybody who takes full responsibility and accountability for their actions (that have caused themselves and others suffering) will change.

"You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start now and change the ending"

Change is difficult because every time you do something you are technically practicing it whether it is intentional or not. You are reinforcing the neurons which perform that task and embedding it into the subconscious. Change requires repetitive conscious effort outcompeting ingrained subconscious behavior whether the behavior is thoughts or actions. Change is easiest when the motivation for it becomes more uncomfortable than the conscious effort required to initiate and sustain it which is typically why telling someone to do something you perceive as beneficial to them works less than letting them suffer the consequences of their current behavior. Unfortunately many times when you reach the point of suffering consequences that make you want to change, those consequences have already made irreversible impacts on your life.

Pain is a great motivator, usually people get to a point when the pain is too great that you have no other choice but to trudge a different path

There are a handful of YouTube channels which make quality content right when you need it. This is one of them. Thanks, Dr. Taraban.

The two devastating statements in this video that jerked my tears are: 1) the "you're not fooling anybody: once a depressive always a depressive" self-destructive monologue, and 2) Javer getting "ensnared" in his own absolutist worldview which then destroyed him. Every morning I battle the demon of the old consciousness I used to have. It is revived by sleep after I'd successfully defeated it the day before. Every morning it comes back to life, and I replace it manually with the new consciousness I've built via mental/emotional work. I'm winning this battle specifically because I realized that by having previously convinced my nervous system that "the truth is the truth and I mustn't shy away from it," I mistakenly trained my nervous system to refuse any change and call it a hoax because "once a depressive always a depressive." By combating this pitfall, I dodge the ensnarement of my own outdated absolutist worldview, and this leads you to realize that WE ONLY HOLD ONTO THOSE LIMITING BELIEFS OUT OF EGO, OUR EGO IS UPSET AND IT USES THAT BULLSHIT AS A WARM BLANKET OF SELF-PITY. No more. I value my happiness and progress more than I enjoy self-pity now, I'm shedding this pathetic coating off of me. I'm looking forward to the warm blanket of love, instead.

For me, change meant taking ownership of my self and not lay blame on others. Thank you so much.

I'm a very, very different person in 2023 than I was in 2000. Most of the changes came from life experience, hard times, education and personal growth.

I believe that change only comes with a true sense of awareness of self. for most part of our lives, we are led by instilled curiosity, environments and people and thus, we get lost in the chaos of externalities. when we decide that that's not who we are or want to be, we change, and that is what's important: the decision to change. whether we have been in the habit of smoking for a decade or we have been communicating poorly since we were a kid, the moment we decide to take control of ourselves and be someone we are proud of, we change. the process of this promised evolution also promises self-trust. I think in the end, it's not about who we have been or what we tell ourselves we are or what we are perceived as; if we want to be better, we should be better. that's all. remember, this is your life, and you decide who you want to be, regardless of a stubborn subconscious and a world ready to guilt you. "i dont like who i am" is a well enough reason to change.

Frued said, "People do not change. They only become more of what they are." I believe he was correct in his analysis.

I agree! All people change by getting more entrenched in their ways and habits tending towards entropy. Trauma and crisis changed people for the better or worse.

All I can say is , as someone diagnosed with BPD at 22… it takes a lot of effort and intention to change… at 44 years old I am much more stable and consistent… whether it would have happened anyway due to aging and maturity, I’ll never know… but it feels much better to be stable than up and down and all over the place

Seen plenty of your videos lately, but this may be the best one. The literature references are priceless. Read all dostoyevski and les mis was one of the few books that manage to resonate so profoundly to make me sick to my stomach in some parts. Great stuff

I changed myself radically. When I was about 12 I had this realization which was my first experience of enlightenment. The realization is that I had been lead to believe false things. This lead to question my entire reality. I started deconstructing my reality completely, until I was staring into the empty abyss of consciousness without a constructed reality. I sacrificed everything. No identity, no beliefs, just unconstructed reality. For a long time I didn't know what to do, and found myself in a situation where everything I constructed would simply deconstruct back to this empty consciousness. Eventually I realized that my true self was never what I constructed, but I am the abyss.

Probably one of the best episodes on this channel. Thank you.

Dr. Taraban, I am so impressed with your analysis - chapeau bas!