Psychology of Sarcasm - with JP Sears

One of the dangers I've experienced repeatedly with sarcasm is that it can leave people feeling insecure and uncertain about the sincerity of what's being said. When a generally sarcastic person wants to be genuine, it can be very difficult for him/her to be taken seriously because his/her continual sarcasm has trained people to not regard him/her seriously.

I really like this video and I'm not even being sarcastic.

"Inside every cynical person, is a disappointed idealist." - George Carlin

For many years I worked with teens in care. A psychiatrist who worked with staff told us that sarcasm is "thinly veiled anger" and we all nervously laughed. He went on to say that sometimes it's so thinly veiled, you could spit through it. Our kids used sarcasm all the time and as staff we had to be on our toes not to mirror that back to them. I developed sarcasm as a way of coping with living in a family where alcoholism and verbal abuse and a lack of fidelity reigned. His explanation and my work really helped me to conquer the need to be sarcastic.

Hurt people hurt people.

It nearly made me cry. My partner is always using sarcasm against me, I get upset and he just tell me I have no sense of humor..good to hear that sarcasm is not a sense of humour. Realising and angry now. Thanks for your brilliant mind.

I have felt hurt and confused by sarcasm since I was a young teenager. I didn't even know the word back then, but I knew how it hurt. I believe that sarcastic people think they are very clever and smarter than the people they hurt. They are elitists who enjoy seeing others hurt by their words. Sometimes they think they are being funny, but if the sender and the receiver aren't BOTH laughing it isn't funny at all. They are haters. Personally, I never employ sarcasm because it is ALWAYS mean. As a mature adult I choose not to respond to sarcastic remarks. I walk away.

There's a big difference between sarcasm and irony. Irony is to point out the absurdity of something. Sarcasm is meant to wound. I would say JP's parody videos fall under the former. His videos are ironic, they poke gentle fun at situations we find ourselves in. They sit as a reminder to stop taking ourselves so seriously, to have perspective. It seems to me like he's also using self-deprecating humor to disarm people who might otherwise not be comfortable enough to spend serious time watching any kind of "self-help" channel. It's a smart thing to do, and I'm not even being sarcastic.

This helped me to process an experience I had. I was at lunch with some colleagues at a conference after we had all attended the final keynote speech. I had personally felt like the keynote speaker was a bad fit for the conference, and that he spoke about topics that seemed embarrassingly simple to me. Overall, I had a hard time paying attention. Having to sit through the talk was really uncomfortable, yet at lunch, nobody mentioned the keynote at all. I think I felt the need have my feelings validated. I said "so how about that keynote?" in a sarcastic tone. One of the people at the table responded with the same tone "oh, it was great!" and conversation about it was over. I had already felt strange for having such a strong negative feeling about the presentation, and now I felt embarrassed too.  Looking back, I could have been more vulnerable and said "I don't know if it's just me, but it seemed like the keynote was pretty off, and it was hard for me to sit through." My sarcasm sort of forced the people listening to view the situation in a negative way without giving them room for an opinion. I was trying to process my pain, but didn't take others into consideration. This is probably a less harmful situation than most, but it has stuck with me for some reason. Glad to process it a bit more now. Thanks JP!

With sarcasm, like most expression, it comes down to intent. Two friends can be playfully sarcastic with one another, with a wink and a smile, knowing it's safe to do so. I think this applies to JP's Ultra videos as well - it's a shared joke.

I love the response: “I see you smiling, I’ve heard what you’ve said, and I need you to know, here’s how I feel about it...I feel sad about what you’re saying and it doesn’t strike me as funny.” I feel that sarcasm is a toxic sense of humor by expressing ones own negative energy, which is inner pain, and wrapping it in a joke. I really love your channel and your perspective on various healing topics and trends, especially when they can take over our lives and especially when we “lose ourselves” by getting our identity wrapped around healing topics and trends like gluten free, paleo, veganism, conspiracy theories, and toxic relationship communication techniques. And plus being in the alternative healing world for me feels kinda lonely when I get to serious about it. I find your satirical videos deeply healing for me, because I like to be able to laugh at myself. I’m so grateful to you JP for your video content and for entertaining my coworkers on our breaks! Thank you!

In Portland Oregon, we have eliminated sarcasm. As with a blind person who says that their hearing has increased, without Sarcasm our other senses of humor have been greatly enhanced. If you travel here, you will witness the deep joys of "slap stick," "mime theater," and "rollie poley." And gone are the days when acerbic, absurdest mid-century humor left us daunted, confused or with an unmet need for validation. Hooray Pacific NW Humor!

What I really love about your style is the raw honesty. I used to teach yoga and meditation and quite for many reasons, but one was that I didn't live up to who I thought a teacher of yoga should be. I wasn't relaxed enough. I still lost my balance and got angry. Your videos remind me that's okay. We're all in the together. To further my point, you are "real". Too many "gurus" or spiritual guides are too perfect--or claim to be. In these videos I feel like I'm hanging out with a friend that is just laying it on the line instead of talking down to me.

I think the nastiness of sarcasm is that is lures one in with a positive statement that is then turned on its head when it becomes clear that the meaning is the exact opposite. As for your 'sarcastic' videos, I love them! I meditate every day, great for my mental health, and adored your how to meditate video, really funny :) (ps, I'm not being sarcastic!)

I usually love sarcasm. Even when it's directed at me. I think it's a great comedic tool.

Sarcasm is a slippery slope and is not always appropriate but if it is used with humor can certainly be a hilarious way to express ourselves. Great being at your event in Encinitas. I gleaned a lot from your insights. Life is a journey and I am grateful you share yours in such a big way. Thank you!

This is gold! I'm with the other commenters, I don't see your Ultra Spiritual videos as sarcastic, just satire. And I absolutely see myself in some of them and they make me laugh at my own Ultra Spiritual side. Now I need to go find more abundant pictures for my vision board.

Your channel is quickly becoming my favorite. :) I love your funny videos, I love your serious videos. Thank you for making them. :)

I adore sarcasm.  I find it a gentle way to point out foolishness or confusion without being mean.  I find it to be a form of humor.   When I say something stupid I like it when someone is sarcastic with me because it makes me realize that I've goofed.  It makes me laugh at myself.  Does that mean I'm a masochist?  I think people who don't understand sarcasm are not able to see the humor in situations or themselves.  Everyone needs to quit being so damn sensitive about themselves.  Besides that indulging in sarcasm is just plain fun.

I’ve watched this so many times. Lots of YouTube videos on sarcasm and the pain it causes- this one really nails it from all perspectives. I keep revisiting it. Great stuff.