The Stoic Art Of Not Caring What People Think
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Published 2023-10-20
A Stoic knows they will be the recipient of unfair criticism.
They don’t whine and bitch about it. They don’t get distracted by it or make impotent threats. They certainly don’t take it personally either (In fact, Epictetus liked to joke that when someone unfairly criticizes you, feel grateful that they didn’t point out your real flaws). No, they didn’t do any of that. Because they had a job to do. Because they knew that trying to control other people’s opinions was like trying to control the weather—and that a public life guarantees public scrutiny.
And they knew one other thing: They knew that if they stuck to their ideals and ethics and did their work well, in the end, proper judgement would be rendered. We would do well to remember the same thing.
In this video Ryan Holiday outlines the Stoic strategies that you can use in your daily life to stop caring about what other people are thinking.
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All Comments (21)
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My father who is 92 and lived his life like a stoic told me once about getting offended by someone's criticism or opinion. Ask yourself "is this a person I would seek advice from? If not don't worry...if it is talk to them. Else ignore the opinions and criticism of others. In order for you to be offended you have to value their opinion"...that lives with me today and passed on to my kids
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"It's not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it." - Seneca
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There's a 12-step saying I like: What you think of me is none of my business.
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Discovering Stoicism has been one most the best things that happened to me.
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1:18 1.focus on what you can control 1:50 2.stay on your path 3:40 3.put every impression to test 4:27 4.don't talk about it 5:32 5.respect yourself 6:51 6.you have limited bandwidth 8:58 7.look at who they are 10:14 8.practice not feeling shame 12:38 9.be your best self 13:36 10.saty on the path 14:27 11.focus on who you are
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I’ve adopted “minimalism” in my life practices and stoicism fits perfectly with that!
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I practice Stoicism on a daily basis and as an Instructor in a prison, I bring it to my students. They, too, find it invaluable. Thank you!
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Honestly sometimes its not even about caring about what other people think, do, or say. Sometimes it's the way I think about myself and reflect on things I've said or done that's the problem. Caring too much about what I personally think, do, or say.
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I was a stoic before I even knew what a stoic wad. I’m a woman. One day during an appointment with my male doctor, he asked me wad I always this stoic. After that appointment, I looked up the term and have been happily myself ever since. Thanks, doc. I appreciate the fact that I can love deeply, yet not allow any person that I love to take me down with them. I have/will cut them off with a quickness. I’ve never cared what people think about me—if I didn’t value them as a person. And, to top if off, my zodiac is scorpio and I’m an introvert. I truly love me as I am. However, I have to be honest, it an be a lonely existence if you allow it to be. I’m so at peace with myself, but humans need other humans, so I’m working on this.🥰
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1. Focus on what you control 2. Stay on your path (euthymia) 3. Put them to the test (impressions) 4. Don't talk about it (your work - just do your work) 5. Respect yourself 6. You have limited bandwidth (losing energy focusing on other people's opinion) 7. Look at who they are 8. Practice not feeling shame 9. Be your best self 10. Stay on the path 11. Focus on who you are As always, thanks a lot! (:
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instead of judging yourself, ask yourself what can you do to improve this situation, this is the only thing you can control! Very nice video, very inspiring
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The best way to stop caring what other people think is to stop caring what other people think.
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I've battled with this my entire life. This helps a lot.
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While writing in my Daily Stoic journal I felt compelled to check your latest video and express my deepest gratitude for everything you do. And I don't care that you don't care about my gratitude. 😄 This is a fun part about being a Stoic. Thank you, thank you Ryan for all your work! Please live for 100+ years and inspire many more generations to come.
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It’s really hard for me to respect anyone pimping out Better Help. Do a deep dive into that company and you’ll understand.
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I moved to the USA from the UK. This country has A LOT of issues on this topic. It almost feels like it causes this wierd toxic environment wherever you go. You just feel it in the air. I love living here and feel privileged but it was definitely an adjustment mentally
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Stoicism is the piece that was missing from my life. I am very extraverted by nature and always reached out to others for validation and had a wide social circle, but also very sensitive and was hurt many times. Stoicism is helping me so much -- with depression and anxiety, with writers' block, and with peace of mind. Thank you Ryan for your books and videos. I looked up your books at my local library and was so happy to see there are so many holds there is a wait list for each title. The world needs Stoic virtue and perspective right now.
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I just had to make a pretty big life decision and changed my route forward by quite a bit. This video couldn't have come at a better time. Thanks!
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Thank Ryan. This has been a lifelong battle, caring what other people think.
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This video arrived in my Email this morning and was exactly what my soul needed. Thank you again for all the time you spend teaching, reading, learning and sharing.
